861.....

I laid me down and slept; I awaked
for the Lord sustained me
Ps. 3:5

It has been 861 days since Joel left our family here on this earth. I have awaken 861 mornings with out him. I looked up the word sustain in the Strongs and means "to prop." In the dictionary it means " to keep in existence, to provide nourishment for, to provide for the support of, carry the weight, to strengthen the spirits." Sometimes it certainly feels like I am only existing. I find no where that he says the he will take away the pain, so for Him to "prop" me up, could I ask for more???? And that is where the problem lies, it lies within. You see my heart screams for "more," and I guess if I let the thoughts proceed further and not bring my thoughts captive, then I put myself before the Lord "wanting." I want compensation, I want what Job received after his trial, I want something in return for the loss, I want God to bring something BIG, something I can SEE. But once again as I seek to square up my sight and make my heart aright the Spirit brings to mind truth. In my flesh I am a "Thomas," wanting to see, feel, touch the results but Jesus told Thomas the ones that are blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed. (John 20:29) 861 days....that does not seem like a long time. If the Lord is willing and depending on how long I live that scripture is true if the number reaches to 3000 or 4000 mornings that I awaken and Joel is not here with us, I will be sustained. As long as I have Him to keep me in existence, to nourish me, if he carries the biggest part of the weight, if he continues to strengthen my spirits then all will be well, and since He is a "prop" that will not fall over, will not move, and even though I might be bent over a bit from the trial, I will still be standing.

Raining and cloudy here today. Today is our cleaning day. Everybody is underway with their work and chores. The concrete pour with the guys went well and they are taking down the braces and few other things today. There is an opportunity with a job that the Build Block fellow is making a bid on and if the Lord allows him to receive it our guys will have have the biggest job ever....building a church out of these blocks. we are praying for favor and that if the Lord is willing He would grant this job. It would take 6- 8 weeks and it would be an out of towner but it would be worth it and they would travel back and forth and stay on as well with some friends that live close to the area. It will be a huge opportunity!

Ok....now we have 7 cell phones.....Anna just got her a cool purple one!!!! Can any body beat 7 ??
The first person that can e-mail us a picture of all 8 lined up, I 'll send you a prize.....a summer fun box!! 13blessings @sbcglobal.net