Saturday, May 31, 2008

Chicken Day !!!!

Ouch!!!!!.......... my feet were hurting sooooo bad last night, but we had a great day, fun fellowship with the folks that helped, some of the Cochran family, David our neighbor (he fixed the computer) and we butchered 55 chickens in about 3 1/2 hours. We finished up about 3:30, cleaned up had supper, then played "Balley Ball" (as Mercy calls it) with David!!! The Lord granted a successful and safe day. We have about 25 more to do this morning and then in a few weeks 25 more(the 2nd batch will be ready) and the Fleshman family and David are coming this morning, another fun day ahead!! For a refresher course this is how it went..........Daniel and Andrew do the dreaded "act" of putting the chicken in the killing cone, Caleb then takes the bird, dips it in water 145 degrees for 1 minute, Elijah then takes it over to the plucker, after that Terry and Bethany (Mr. Cochran and David helped at each station too) are the "gut guys," pulling the stuff out, head off and feet off, then they go over to the water vats where Josiah, Hosanna, Jeremiah get the little remains off leaving the birds in the water for about 25 minutes, and finally I take them inside to scrub their insides out with a brush and check them over, Anna weighs them and packages the birds up and there you have it!!!!! Joshua was a little under the weather, so he just observed. Mercy cheered our hearts, played in the water, had to be changed 3 times, took a nap, threw a cat in the water vats, played with chicken feet, cheered and told mommy "i wuv uuuu" from the sidelines as we played "Balley Ball." She asked last night if it was "church day?", I told her no, it was chicken day, and she said "Ohhhh yeahhhhhh." We are grateful for the 53 that we have sold as well and we are going to put 40 in our freezer!!!! On Wed. I was kinda getting in a dither because we only had about 8 sold and did not like the thought of buying another freezer, but by yesterday the Lord allowed the phone to ring from people spreading the word and we ended up selling 58! So thank you to all the folks that passed on the info!!!! The Lord answered our prayer of bringing buyers!!!!

Once again I missed Joel, as he was here in July 06, our first time to do this, running around and playing with Hosanna and Josiah in their little tree house. Events of us all being together bring poignant memories of my little Joel.......miss you so very much!!!!!!

Gotta be quick here, stuff to do before the others arrive, have a great Saturday with your family!!!!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Joel's Story in Magazine !!!

Which shall I start with good news or bad news....... the good first, remember the AFA homeschool magazine that interviewed our family? Well the June issue is out, but if your like us, we are not subscribers so you can read it here. We are very thankful that Joel's story of the sanctity of life will go to 160,000 subscribers and to the countless others that will read it on-line. Thank you Rebecca for representing our family and being a blessing as Joel's story continues!!! May the Lord use our little Joel to spread the story of "life" and how precious it is!!!

Now the Bad news.....but you will probably not be surprised.....about two weeks ago Terry got a call from someone at the IRS and said that we could not claim Josiah, someone else already did!!! Someone got his SS# and used it on their form, now that was a little surprising, but just a few days ago we got another call and someone has now claimed Joel on theirs too....can you believe that???? We are the ones that have to fill out this and that and who knows when it will all get straightened out. The person Terry talked to had the guts to ask if anyone in "our family" would have gotten their SS# and did that????? May the Lord have mercy upon our country and people that can do such!!!! Oh well.....what does all that matter in eternity.........

I have been reading about Lazarus again, It helps to read about others that walked the road of grieving. It says that Jesus cometh to the grave. It was a cave...... this is one of the darkest places to be, yet he is here with me. I am thankful he is here!! There were those there that would be called witnesses to the scene, what they saw and what they said gives a description of why it takes ever so long to walk through this valley of death..... Then said the Jews, behold how he loved him! I thought this might be helpful to those on the outskirts watching a friend or family member grieve, we are groaning so within, the love is so deep, the dreams dashed and it is because "I loved him, my Joel." I know He does not always give explanations but He gives promises so I am walking one day at a time looking for those promises that give me hope!! I love the title "perfect storm," that is what He has created for us to go through, sometimes I am riding the waves and sometimes I am under them, but either way the waves are carrying me(us) to our desired haven!

Tomorrow.....poor chickens!!!!(butchering day) We have some families helping on each day, Fri and Sat. It will be a long day of hard work with good results.....meat in the freezer!!!! Today we are preparing the lunches so we can eat quick and get back to work, also this is our weekly cleaning day, going very well!!

Oh.....more good news! Remember the truck situation, transmission about to be out. A mechanic friend called Terry and asked if he might trade our work for his work??? He needed const. work and we needed a mechanic!!! So Lord willing we will get a rebuilt transmission and John D will get a new well house!!!! The Lord is so merciful to work behind the scenes and put on peoples hearts ideas that will carry out his plans. We are grateful to you, John D. The guys are still saving for "the truck." They are working so hard and being frugle and of course praying for God's provision. He is faithful!!!!!

If you read Bethany's blog, you will find we have a new "girl" on the farm, a baby heifer was born a couple days ago. We still have another cow due any day. We are so grateful for the blessing of all the livestock and the enjoyment it brings to the children.

Blessings to each !!!!!

Cindy (Josiah drew the beautiful picture for Joel)

Monday, May 26, 2008

A Sign...A Story????

The Curtis family gave us a rose bush after Joel went to live with the Lord. An orangy color, the color is unique in itself. Last year it didn't bloom with vigor, but this year.....I have been monitoring it as I noticed it had two buds the same size. Just this last week, one of the buds seemed to quickly come to maturity and opened up to full bloom, while the other one rested along side and seemed to humbly await its turn, I looked and meditated upon this little story that was unfolding. The story my heart received was a tender message of Joel. Two growing together, two created by the Rose of Sharon himself, yet one quickly brought the beauty and fragrance intended and purposed for, and now he is in full bloom in eternity. Soon the petals fell, the creation fulfilled its purpose and now the one along side burst forth with similar beauty, awaiting to not take away from the purposes of the first bud. As I thought about this little story, Satan was seeking to rob me of the "dew from heaven" with thoughts such as " your just trying to find a sign," but then the Lord quickly brought a scripture to my mind, Every good gift and perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights.......James 1:17. I will receive this gift from the Lord as a token of his goodness comforting my heart. Thank you Curtis family for blessing us with this gift!!!

Plan A was to turn the central A/C on Saturday night to get the house cooled down for church on Sunday morning. About 20 minutes after Terry started the thing, I walked outside for something, I came back in and reported to Terry that I smelled something unusual. He went out to check it out, dashed back in for the fire extinguisher.......yep, the unit caught on fire!!! Not good!! He is going to see if it could possibly be the fan, but after 34-35 years of summer running, there is not a lot of hope, SO, Plan B now, going to Lowes and getting a window unit. I think it will be sufficient. We have window units in couple other places, we'll see. Broken things...... they use to make my world crash, but since Joel's situation, temporal things effect me a little differently. Not to say I am not capable of complaining and mumuring, but it is not as an outward demonstration as before. In our almost 22 years of marriage we have abounded way more than been abase. Broken hearts hurt far worse than broken "stuff." With prayer and supplication, our requests will be made known.......

Last night we had a pre-memorial day celebration with Jeremy, Rita and their three children. Pizza and bluebell, but we did not get the ping-pong in, next time!! Thanks for cracking us up, Jeremy!! Fixing Steak/Chicken/Beef Sausage K-Bobs for lunch and our garden red potatoes again and then later this afternoon we are heading over to friends for fun and food. Six families are gathering with a total of 46 children.....WOW!!!! thats great!!!!!

I was going to put away Mercy's highchair today, but a gulp in my throat, can't do it today. She does not sit in it very often, so I was going to make use of the extra space, we have two of them, one was put away way back, those pictures a few posts back.....Joel and Josiah's......removing items is difficult. I want to say again, writing is therapy, it allows the hurts to come out, I am able to write what I feel rather than sit down and say all this to someone face to face. Terry even said, "I have to read the blog to find out how your doing sometimes," so for those that seem to have expectations of me getting back to the way I used to be, quit expecting that, I am not the same and I never will be, but rather God can and will do a new work with the new me. Keep praying if you do not know what else to do.

Busy week ahead, steer going to the slaughter house on Wed. evening, grocery week, and Lord willing we are butchering chickens on Friday and Saturday. You still can let us know if you want some by e-mailing us.

Hi, Burnett family......they are traveling to Mexico with their dad/husband for his work, and vacation fun too!!!

May the Lord give a blessed time with our families and as we remember those that were faithful before us, but mostly may the Cross and the empty tomb be a precious memorial to our hearts!!!

I am remembering you too today, Joel!!!!


Saturday, May 24, 2008

Children Are Blessings !!!

It looks like the initial report from the Lockwoods is one of praise to the Lord. Its not cancer! Jaynee will post more information it sounds like soon. Thank the Lord for his mercy to this wife and children.....Lord willing he is here with them!!

We are grateful to be back together as well, the work week for the guys was successful and boy are they sunburned! They did have some sun block, but those ICF blocks are white and it just reflects onto them. We fed them up some big juicy hamburgers for lunch today, so now I am expecting some work around here:) Church is at our house tomorrow, so we are getting the grass cut, trimmed up and clean up, plus a little fun....some of the children went to our neighbor, Carla's to ride horses!!!

I read a verse this morning and it just brought such an overwhelming gratefulness to the Lord for his mercies in granting these children to us. Gen.33:5 And he lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children; and said, who are those with thee? And he said, The children which God hath so graciously given thy servant. If the Lord has given 1 or 13 or a number in between (rhymes, fun!!!) we are so blessed!! What a rich heritage we have! Look how these children bless us.....they have the opportunity to rise up and call us blessed, they can speak with the enemy in the gate, they bring joys, they can still the enemy, our sons can be as plants grown up in their youth, our daughters can be as pillars for a palace, they are like arrows as we go to battle, we are happy because of them, they are used of the Lord to further his kingdom, they are vessels for the next generations to carry faith and truth onward, they will provide babies to love on until I exit this life, Lord willing!!!!, they can take care of us when we are old, they can cook for us when we visit their homes :), the list does not end here, they are assets to us! I know one of the prayers I pray very often , is that the Lord would grant faith to each one yet to come that are in the loins of each child until the appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ! May the Lord continue to open our eyes to the joys of children and bring fruitfulness according to his will!!! As I see pictures of them together, it brings such joy that they have each other and they too enjoy one another!!!

Supper fresh red potatoes, broccoli and sugar snap peas, Yum!!!!!!

May the Lord bless your weekend and have fun being together!!!!


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Pray for the Lockwood Family...

Please pray for the Lockwood family, they are missionaries in Mexico, they are blessed with 11 blessings, their newest son is about a month old. They have just found out the husband/father (They are in their late 30's) might have cancer, they are doing tests at this time, he has been sick for a time, through CAT scans, there does appear to be a mass on his gallbladder. You can visit their blog, if you would like to read more. They have followed with us with Joel and have been so faithful to pray as we journey through grieving, and Jaynee has prayed for me as I have asked her to for specific needs in my life and health. They are a precious family, please pray for them!!

Since tomorrow is the 23rd, I like to do something special for Joel, sometimes I wonder if there are any more words to write to express this time, although today I wrote for the first time with a lighter heart and not so heavy with sadness. Maybe lots were praying for me today, or the Lord just sent an extra basket of grace, either way, I felt it. These poems are truly so simple and small, but I like to do it, sometimes they convey what mere sentences can not. I am not writing to impress other people, there just a little gift to Joel, who knows if but the Lord gathers them up and lets Joel read them to other little children.


Two little boys
Abounding joys

Two knit together in one secret place
Touching, nursing, a warm embrace

Two sweet smiles
Only one for awhile

Two dirty faces
Exploring farm places

Two little jeans, all worn out
Yes, there were even two little pouts

Two trucks and tractors to play
Laughter and cries throughout the day

Two little blankets, soft and blue
Your naps together would be few

Two in a bath, getting all clean
I wish I could awake and this be a dream

Two birthdays, balloons and treasures
Your family gathered, a love unmeasured

Two hugs and faces smothered with kisses
One hug, one kiss, the other my heart misses

Two boots and hats, cowboys you are
Days are numbered, eternity not far

Two little boys equals four feet
Two would be travilin', Jesus to meet

Two little boys the story is told
One in Jesus' lap he holds

Someday the addition will add up again
One plus one equals two, like the begin!!
I love you still!!!!

The computer is all well now thanks to David, our neighbor!!! He swept it clean and reset the whole thing, its like a brand new one, its moving faster than ever, and we even have dial up. So thank you so very much David!!!!!!!!! We'll get some more meals in there for ya!!!!

Home alone, somewhat, the guys will hopefully be back around here tomorrow. I hope to stay up a little tonight and get some work done on some picture albums. It has been a smooth week, Micah and Andrew are the "men" around here, so they are in charge!! Mercy has just decorated the hallway with unwinding toliet paper and furnishing a beautiful display!! She is our most "precious Mertie."

Guess I better go before she comes up with anymore ways to beautify our home!!!

Pray for the Lockwoods!!


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Remembering Years Before...

By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea we wept, when we remembered Zion. Ps. 137:1

When I read this scripture, this is what happened as I was digging through pictures the day before. I was remembering what use to be, then there were also very happy memories of some things we did in 2006. I think one reason it was so emotional was the pictures I came across of Joel and Josiah (they were pictures that were not of great quality, before digital camera days) were ones that I do not look at often like the ones I have all over the house for they are mostly from the year 2006 and especially from Sept. until Dec. 06, so when I saw these and more it just really reminded me of a lot of things we did and seeing all their little outfits, it hurt. It reminded me of his happy baby year and his 18 month stage, his 2 year old year, what an incredible joy it was to have two little boys once again. It brought an overwhelming sadness of dreams and fun we anticipated that we were looking to as they grew up together. Caleb and Daniel were so much fun, I guess apart of me was sad because I knew what I was going to miss out on in a way with two.I just have to believe the longings that I have, the Lord will fulfill those in another way and it will far exceed my own dreams and hopes with Joel. So now getting back to the pictures above, I came across them too and was remembering what a special time this event was and thought I would share about it. Terry and I had a little ceremony in April 05 with the children and renewed our vows to each other. Actually our school work initiated the idea as we were studying about the marriage covenant, so to bring the truth to their hearts we had this ceremony. I went about much of the celebration as a real wedding, we made a wedding cake and had a table set up for the reception time. Caleb Daniel and Elijah provided the music. Josh and Andrew were the candle lighters, Hosanna was the flower girl and Jeremiah was the ring bearer. Anna was my honored young lady, Bethany was the coordinator and worked the video. We even tied up birdseed bags so they could throw them on us as we departed for a short drive. As for the vows, I wrote some to Terry and he did the same and we said those to each other. It was a very memorable time for our family. Our hearts are committed to each until death do we part. This Nov. we will, Lord willing celebrate 22 years together. We have been so blessed to have had the opportunity to have and seek to train all these rewards for his kingdom. We have encountered some bumps along the way, but He is true, He is faithful. I know He will continue to carry us through this journey now. May the Lord strengthen each marriage of friends and family to be committed and to love each other unconditionally. I know for me I still have so much to become, I am so thankful for Terry's kindness and patience in my becoming the bride that the Lord wants me to be for him.

The guys are driving in tonight as they went ahead and stayed last night, so we are looking forward to their arrival. Anna has made a special treat for these hard workers!! They will have to head back early in the morning and will hope to get back home on Friday. They are constructing the biggest ICF (build block) house yet.

Blessings to each of you!!!


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A Perfect Storm....


Now Dr. John Maris and his team have made a major discovery, published in the New England Journal of Medicine. For the first time, they've established that it's a genetic disease.
"It ends up that it takes a" perfect storm" of genetic changes on chromosome 6p22 and other chromosomes for one individual to be more likely to develop the disease," said Dr. John Maris, Pediatric Oncologist at CHOP, and the lead researcher of the study.
Using advanced technology, doctors analyzed the DNA of Neuroblastoma patients and found key changes in the sixth chromosome, the root cause of the disease.
"We can now begin to hone down and find therapies that are specific to Neuroblastoma," said Dr. Maris.
That would be targeted treatments that currently don't exist.

Well..... when I look at information like this, of it all being a "perfect storm," which the Lord can only create perfect storms, I then have to turn to the scriptures and find comfort that Joel was formed, created with the DNA that God wanted him to have for a higher purpose that is beyond my understanding. If I were to think even for a moment that all this happened by chance or Joel was not put together right, my mind and heart would forever be in utmost turmoil. There is a sense of peace when I can know that the Lord weaved him together in a most perfect way to fulfill a most perfect plan. This cancer is said to be rare, 600 cases diagnosed in a year, not that I wish it on anyone else but all the millions, it came to us. In this observation as well, there can only be peace when I go to the scriptures that tell me about how He suffered, He hurt, but there was a purpose.......the empty tomb. I seek to trust, yet I struggle more often than I like. I just wish I could get to the place of being stable and not losing the confidence that there is a purpose when my emotions outweigh my knowledge. I miss him, looking at it all from the underside and seeing all the raveled edges, it is a mystery, its so hard to wait for the day to see the beauty that will one day be shown. I guess sometimes I long for a peek, thinking it might help with the pain and missing him. Today I pulled out some pictures that were not of the best quality, yet I wept so hard as the reality drove into my heart of he really was here and now he really is not here anymore. Adding to the post before this, as a friend said our former pastor gave a message on grieving and shared that we are "walking" through the valley of the shadow of death, giving the picture that yes I am walking through this and I do not know how long "my" walk will be, but because I am walking I am going forward, so that does mean, at sometime I will get through it, how long? I do not know. So the pictures above( if I can put any up after I do this, it might not work) of Joel and Josiah are those I dug out this morning

The computer is still getting treated, our friend is working on different methods and at least it is hopeful for a full recovery. I am hoping I will get through this post!!!

The guys are working in Watonga, they stayed the night last night trying to help with the gas issue and the truck being a bit sick too. I think they are driving back tonight and they still have several more days on the job out there. Once again thankful for the work!!!!

We are still doing some schoolwork, Micah and Andrew need to finish their math books, so we will just hit and miss throughout the days ahead until they accomplish that. I have been doing some work around the place with flowers and cleaning, raking and Micah has retrieved some nice rocks from the pasture for decorating in the flower beds. The weather is so very nice, lower 90's. We have not turned our air on yet, it feels fine inside. We always put these small window units in the kitchen and in the boys room to help supplement our 35 year old unit. I like the hum of the window units, reminds me when I was a little girl and that is all we had in our little house.

Tonight....... a fun meal, hot dogs with homemade hot dog buns, chips and the poison drink....cokes!!! Since the guys are gone we can get away with this. I bought some water balloons and they are filling their ammunitions up now for a big war. Josiah is making the big announcement to everyone that he does not want to get wet, but I think his desires will not be granted if he participates in the war. After...... it went from ballons to buckets!!!!! Mercy was so sweet this morning, I was talking to her about Joel, and I was telling her that he was in heaven with Jesus, that he had cancer and was pointing to his picture in our room, and she asked me"if Joel bull ride?" She is filled up to the brim with "boy stuff." She does like to play with babies, but more often she trails along behind Siah and does big boy stuff!!!! Hosanna, Josh, Jeremiah and Siah are doing a little project with me. We picked out 5 books, some Rod and Staff, that I am reading out loud and after we finish we are going to Braum's for a treat. They are eager and look forward to this little time of reading. It also makes me have that special time with them too.

May the Lord give you opportunities to make sweet memories with your family this week!!


Saturday, May 17, 2008

Pray for me...

We are having MAJOR computer problems!!!! I do not know if I will make it through this....we'll see. A neighbor friend is seeking to help us out, he thinks it is a serious virus. He is a computer expert, so I know we are in good hands, just a matter of getting through all the "stuff."

Saturday, today has been a pretty good day. Getting ready for church here, doing clean up, meal preparation and had the most delicious hamburgers this evening! I think I could (and Micah too) eat them many times a week. The beef is almost gone:((((((( We do plan on having one of our steers butchered the end of this month, but he was crippled at birth and I do not expect much meat off him, but any amount will be a blessing and provision.

Well.....I do think I am on the statistic page with the way grieving is predicted.They say the first year is numbness, the second year is harder and the third is better. The first year, I can hardly remember feeling things I feel now. It was a sort of numbness. I do not remember a lot of anything to be honest, that is how I felt. Now it seems like I really "feel" the hurt, like I am really grieving. I am not where I can not function. I realize I am blessed with a husband and other children, and I am seeking to go forward for them, yet it is with the deepest hole. Joel, being three and all that he could do as a three year old, communicate with us, go places around here, express his self, he's just everywhere. I miss him in every inch of this place. I know some can not relate to all this because you have not been here, but this is the greatest tragedy a parent could go through. To be in my own home and in my surroundings is the safest, most secure place I feel, reason why? Because its a place I feel closest to Joel. The children enjoy going and doing and I want to do that with them, yet its like apart of me does not really want to because when I leave this place I feel like I have left someone. Some might say they think I am aloof, well thats probably true, I do not know how to "fix" all this, I just know that I am seeking to walk through it and maybe at my own pace, I do not know where I am suppose to be in this, I have never done this before. I do ask the Lord to get me to the places he wants me to be at, and I have never been more desperate in all my Christian walk than I am now for his help and mercy. I am not intentionally dragging this out to get attention, it hurts and I am just getting up each day and trying to put one foot in front of the other. I do not want to drown in the grieving and sorrow so as to miss out on life with my other children. Believe me, I do more "stopping and smelling the roses" now than in my whole life. I do not want to say I am sorry to you for all this grieving, I can't, its here in front of me, I have to face it. I really do not know what others can do to help. I know I enjoy talking about Joel and I enjoy others telling me about what they remember about him, but I do not want to be in the forefront and take over the conversations with my grief and have all eyes on me.I know I have been rather quiet in crowds lately. Some may think "you should be over this and just be going on." I do not know how to respond to that, if you have not done this then how do you have expectations of another.Do you have a toddler?, just think for a moment if he or she were not here. I do not want pity or you to feel sorry for me, I just need to grieve in my own way and time....There is a time. I guess too, since I have never had a friend that has had a child seperation through death, I do not know how you feel either, so we must all be understanding of each other. I am just not the same, I never will be, but I am seeking, little by little to let the new me go forward. I do have a peace in my heart and have embraced God's sovereignty in this but the joy has not come back fully yet. Do I have fun still....I do, can I still laugh....I can, am I thankful....I seek to be, I enjoy the children, I am glad I am here, I look forward to what the Lord has for our future, but I still am grieving in the midst. I guess your wondering why I am writing all this, I am not trying to defend my grieving, I just want friends and family to know that if I seem aloof, its nothing you've done, I am still in the process of this. How long will it take?? I have no idea. What can you do? Pray for me and do not take offense. I do not have the energy and skills to counsel you how to deal with a grieving friend, I try to explain to my own family and they even wonder sometimes. With each morning and as I spend time in the word, believe me I am eagerly looking for encouragement and just any ways the Lord might get me one step further in this process. Uh O, it disappeared..... the computer is on the brink and I am having a friend finish this up(thanks Danielle) so I'll have to go for now. Just pray for me if you think about it as I continue on this grieving journey.

May the Lord allow his word to fall upon every need our hearts have as we worship together tomorrow!! I hope the computer gets well soon!!!!!


Thursday, May 15, 2008

He Causeth, He maketh, He bringeth...

I think for me one of the most wearisome exercises in this grief journey is the fact that I'm not only grieving but batteling the enemy. Being already in a sort of weakened state, the enemy bombardes my mind with thoughts. His attacks are on whom he hates most, God's people, God's character and person, and God's place-heaven. The enemy consistently brings questions to my mind about God's control and it is only in the truth of scripture that I can stand against the tormentor. Seeking to think and meditate upon the truth that speaks that God is in control of our every breath, that we can not exceed the bounds he has purposed is something I must be consistent at. The enemy brings thought to my mind that God does not care about my hurt and causes me to question and wonder if the Lord hears my requests and prayers He brings thoughts to my mind of "well I can just go on by myself if the Lord dosen't help." And then he distorts the most true and perfect place and the hope befor me. He brings thoughts to my mind such as "there are so many people in eternity, Joel is lost in the crowd." This thought can really sadden a mothers heart. I continue to need the truth even if Joel is not here that all is well and peaceful with him. In Ps. 136:7-6 Whatsoever the Lord pleased, that did he in heaven, and in earth, in the seas, and all the deep places. In v.7, I like the words he maketh, he causeth, he bringeth. If it has pleased him then it is best for me. In v.3&5 It tells me that the Lord is good, his name is pleasant, and the Lord is great. Bringing every thought captive and to think on things that are true, that is where the calm is in the storm.The difficulty is, this exercise is hard. Sometimes I just get tired and want to put it in neutral and go forward without all the effort. I like the expression in v.7, he bringeth the wind out of his treasuries.When I think of treasures, it brings a hope of something that I do not know about. That is having the unseen faith of what lies ahead. I will keep putting one foot in front of the other...... I know it might seem like I write and rewrite the same thoughts, but this is where I am right now.

Yesterday was grocery day. All went well and was uneventful. That is a wonderful thing and I was grateful!!!

I bought some flowers yesterday, Josiah got his little shovel and was digging and working so hard. The patio at the side of our driveway is a peaceful place and Joel enjoyed sitting out there. The wood fence came about because behind it is the boys music studio and I did not want it sticking out like a sore thumb, so one thing led to another. We enjoy the evenings when we can sit out there and sip some coffee and have the fire going....cozy!!!!

Later in the evening the children decided to have a "Rodeo." We have a steer that is to be butchered in a few weeks and was born cripple, but he gave Andrew a good ride. Where do they get all these ideas??????

Remember the little Emily, a 7 year old twin that was struggliing with neuroblastoma a few months ago, well her battle has been won now....she went to live with Jesus on Mon. If you think about it pray for them, their new journey is just starting

Not a whole lot else going on around here. May the Lord give us grace to know......he causeth, he maketh, he bringeth!!!!


Monday, May 12, 2008

My Mother's Day !

My day started with a beautiful Mother's Day Breakfast organized and prepared by my dear daughter, Anna. The table was all pretty with several vases of freshly picked roses setting upon decorative mirrors some fabric sweeping around it. Anna planned the menu and it included a breakfast casserole, a beautiful fruit bowl and homemade Cream Cheese Danish. It was a wonderful surprise and I enjoyed all the pampering. Bethany helped her find all the things she needed as in the way of preparation at the store and of course her brothers gave her transportation:) It was kinda funny, Terry poked his head in the kitchen Sat. evening around 11:30 pm( they told me this as I was already in bed) and said to Anna, "we need to fix mom something for breakfast." Anna had it all under control!!! I am blessed!! We then were off to our home church meeting, this week it was in the Blanchard area. Terry shared the teaching this time and it was a message for us mother's. We enjoyed fellowship over lunch and then we headed back to our house. Some rested for awhile and then the guys wanted to "do" something special for me. We hashed out different ideas and came up with going out to eat. The reason we do not do this very often averaged out at a little more than $11 a head times 14, do some math and thats a pretty good reason, huh? I think the last time we all ate out was last year when we were coming home from the homeschool conference. Anyway, it was a very enjoyable time, we had fun, were rather rowdy, and we were so full!!! I was blessed again, for the thoughtfulness the children had. It's really fun when they get older and can come up with ideas on their own of things to do for you. Hope your day was just as enjoyable!!!!!

Just for the knowing of it, I wanted to say to those who might not have seen Joel's DVD and in some of the posts I mention Joel's nickname, "Balley." I wanted to tell you how to pronounce it. You say it like the" ball" a child would play with and then a long "e" sound at the end:), so Balley!! Very good, you have done math and now phonics:)))))) I probably called him that most of the time. He had the roundest little head and his hair was slower coming on than Josiah. Our family is famous for "nicknames." You hardly ever hear the real names around here, the children call each other by these names. I would write them out, but there are not any phonetical signs, so it would probably not make sense. It was funny one time when we were at church and Caleb and Daniel were leading a small group string practice and Caleb ask Daniel to lead in prayer, and Caleb said "Doug, would you say a prayer."( thats what Caleb calls Daniel) I almost laughed thinking that they were probably wondering who Doug was. Ok, I"ll give a few, they call Micah....Tig, Anna....Tooker and Corrie, Bethany....Besh and Bobe (with a long O) Joshua...Skid, Josiah...Jupitar, Caleb...Kib(short i) Daniel....Dub, Andrew....Osage, Elijah....Toby, these are just a few. We are a funny group!!!!

I read a verse in Ps. 107:7, And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation. This is a good verse for me to camp on. I can just pick it all apart and find many thoughts. First HE is the one leading, so I can rest assured that the "way" he is taking me is best. The "right" way may be a very difficult way, it may not be the easiest way, it might have many valleys and hills, it might be narrow and like the scripture says, few on it. The right way might even seem like the wrong way from our perspective. Of course the "world" will mock us for being on the "right" way when we seek to live according to the truth of scripture. I guess it helps me to continue to think that this journey we have been on is the "right way" and the end destination will be the city of habitation!!!! To me this verse portrays a picture that goes so well with the story Pilgrim's Progress. I would not have chosen this "way," nevertheless it is the "right way."So I will seek to gather all I can along the "way" as pertaing to how I might grow and learn and understand what the Lord will grant me to know and then having a hopeful anticipation of seeing the "right way" in its full glory one day.

Sometimes I have heard others say how they have dreamed about their children, or had special "things or signs." I have not dreamed of Joel in these 15 months that I can really remember. I do remember early one morning, I was sleeping and it seems a short time before I woke up, I heard children singing and I thought it was Joel and Josiah. There have only been a few unusual things that I might think of special things, like last year when we went outside there were two rainbows, one on top of the other. It was so beautiful. The other thing that stands out is last spring this lilac bush bloomed for the first time since we have lived out here, 14 years, and it is located in the area that Joel and Josiah played alot. Yesterday morning as I prayed before we left for church, my heart was on a low chord and I just ask the Lord for something special today, a sign. To be honest I was not expecting anything, I was just rambling to the Lord. During our church service, Caleb and Daniel pick and lead the songs. The 2nd one was "Like A River Glorious." That song has significant meaning to my heart. You might remember, the Sunday before the dr. appt on Mon.(in Dec. 06) and then having to check in to the hosp.and then to recieve the dx in a few days, we sang this song and little did we know what lay before us. This was the sign that I prayed for today. We have sang that song many times over the last year and I can hardly get through it. Yesterday was different as I sang it, I did not cry and as I sang the words they were like a special message to my heart. The one verse especially......Every joy or trial cometh from above, traced upon our dial by the Son of Love, we may trust him fully, all for us to do, They who trust Him wholly find Him wholly true. and then the chorus, Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest, Finding as he promised, Perfect peace and rest. I was blessed to think too that the Lord did hear my hurting heart and I needed a special something from the heavens where my little boy is, I needed to feel close to him someway and I did.

I better get and do something productive!!!! O, I want to say an extra thank you to Anna for all the pictures that she so wonderfully takes, and to Bethany for helping out her computer illiterate mom, she gathered all the poems up that I have written in the last few months and included them over on the side under Joel's Poems. Thanks for stopping by, you continue to encourage my heart!!!