Thursday, July 31, 2008
The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his Lord. Matt.10:24 This verse is the basis's for the thoughts here in this post. What He has experienced is an example of what we could experience and why then are we so surprised at trials? Our journey begins when He calls us unto himself and we by faith reach out and touch the hem of his garment as the woman did in Matt. 9., we confess to him that we need him, we are sinners, and he cleanses us through his blood. Then in Mark 10:50, and he casting away his garment, rose and came to Jesus, we are to put away the old life and put on his garment. Acts 12:8, ....Cast thy garment about thee and follow me. So then we follow and thus we are new born babes in Christ, we are wrapped with his garment again, in a sense in swaddling cloth, growing in grace and knowledge of the Lord. As we are on this journey of faith we will likely have many garments to put on, sometimes it shall be a garment of praise, Is.60:3, ...a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. Should not we wear this one often, offering thanks in all things? It's hard! Now as we trod forward there are so many days, years that we shall wear the garment of light, maybe all seems so simple, Ps.104:2, Who coverest thyself with light as with a garment. As Christ had to wear a scarlet robe, Matt. 27:28-31, and put on him a scarlet robe...and they spit upon him...and after that they mocked him, it was a garment of such that entailed mocking and scouragings, remembering we are not above our master, therefore we too might have to endure railings and mocking from others as we follow Christ, his garment upon us! Then there be the times of being clothed with the garment of the deep, trials as such, Ps 104:4, thou coverest it with a deep as with a garment. We do not understand his ways nor the garment of the trial that he has put on us, who can discover the face of his garment, Job 41:13. Sometimes we are given our own raiment, as he too received, they took the robe off from him, and put his own raiment on him, and led him away to crucify him, Matt.27:31. We are given our own raiment, our own cross to carry and this one is the heaviest of all, it is the sackcloth or garment of mourning, Ps. 69:11, I made a sackcloth also my garment. But you know what, these garments will be worn for a while here on this earth but they shall all wax old as a garment and one day we will get that wedding garment on and we will put on the white robes, Rev. 7:9. We thus shall be clothed in his garment of righteousness!!!!! As I thought about all these garments that we will very likely be called to wear, he wore them, so why should we not?? It just gives me encouragement to keep going on this journey knowing the garment of sackcloth that I am wearing is not in vain! I do not know what garment you are having to wear right now, and I prayerfully say I hope you have first of all touched the hem of his garment, may he give us grace to seek to have the garment of praise on in the midst of our circumstances! Still learning.........
Work, work around here, Terry is getting the garden ready for fall planting. We still have okra and tomatoes going now, hoping to keep them from the heat to take to the farmer's market. I think some are going to work on the fences on the lease land. Mercy is taking a nap and I am becoming very sleepy as I write this. I think my situation has pretty much ended, so thankful it was much easier this time! Last night we helped our friend David with some stuff at his house and he served us dinner, thanks David!!!! And if you hear us hollering on August 5th, it will be because we are hooked up to high speed internet, thanks to David finding a connection about 5 miles from here. Oh I hope it works, this dial-up is soooooooo slow and such a pain!!! Anna is still making zucchini bread like crazy!!!! So I guess thats about it around here, I was so looking forward to being pregnant and getting to journal it with you all, maybe the Lord will have mercy and grant it yet! I told Terry the other night if I were to get pregnant again, I was not going to tell anyone until the baby got here! :) We'll see........
Thanks for stopping by...... (pictures in a bit , when Anna gets back)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Well today, we are doing our "Working Wednesday," the guys are here today and they have been doing much needed lawn care, maintenance, outside cleanup, and Terry is doing some paper work that is long overdue! We are very excited about 60 acres of land that we are going to lease, about 15 minutes from our house, and be putting our cattle on and then expanding our herd. We hope to get a bull soon as Anna's heifer is coming in heat. Always wonderful to have expansion of the farm and productivity!
Just wanted to give a quick update and did not want you all to worry, it looks like the Lord is being so gracious and allowing all to go smoothly and we are thankful. I am doing ok with it all, I guess thoughts are lingering before me as we approach August and memories with Joel, and to think that in Aug. 06, he had about 60 days of perfect health until the fevers started in Oct. All the dates are unforgettable. Remembering the first of Aug. too is when we got all those "cow hats." It seems so much time and events has come in between since he was here with us, like another era of life, so it is with all those thoughts that I feel a bit heavy, wonderful memories, yet now looking at them with knowing the outcome is painfully hard, but HE lives and therefore Joel lives!!!!!!
Monday, July 28, 2008
I am the one that has a miscarriage that lasts 41/2 months to complete, I am the one that has a son that gets cancer, only 600 cases in a year and we are one of the 600, I am the one that has two positive pregnancy tests last week now having some bleeding and another test taken and it shows negative......what is going on?????????? I do not know!!!!!!! Possibilities are... the baby did not implant. Now the waiting game again or rather I should say an opportunity for patience and then I will get experience and then comes hope! Of course we are disappointed but once again trusting the Lord knows what we need and when. It seems the phrase "thy will be done" is getting said alot more, it should be said all the time but its sometimes hard, isn't it? I 'll keep you posted when something changes, now we just wait and see what happens.
Now....the pictures tell what we have been up to over the weekend! We went to my dad's in Hot Springs Ar., on Friday and we have returned back home this morning! We have not been there since Joel and Josiah were 9 months old, so it was long over due! My dad and Shirley were so hospitable with wonderful meals, snacks and great fun on the lake. They have a house right on Lake Hamilton. The children were in the water constantly. Josiah was so brave to swim all around with his life jacket on, this was his first time and he did great! The bigger ones had a great time tubing, knee boarding and wake boarding. My dad had a boat full and pulling some and the the big guys had his other boat full and pulling another load! I would see one boat zip by and then here comes the other one! To me some of the things they were doing looked rather dangerous but they said it was sooooooo fun and the faster you went the greater crash opportunity you had! Caleb and Daniel really got the wake boarding down really well. Later in the evening last night my dad's neighbor took them out in this high powered boat and they were zipping back and forth till almost dark, Micah had to get a flash light and wave them to come in out on the dock. We enjoyed the time with my dad and Shirley! He was so excited we came, it was kinda spur of the moment! The four older ones also had the opportunity to play at their church on Sunday, they did a great job and the congregation gave them a standing ovation! I had to brag about that:) We are thankful too for safety and the van working well. we got up and we were on the road going there and coming home at 3:00 AM because of the heat, so most everyone slept. Now we are home and getting regrouped, and I am feeling tired so I might have to sneak a nap in! The one picture with Bethany, Caleb and my dad, I took on their dock, their house is in the background so you can see how they live right on the lake!!
Thanks for all the wonderful and encouraging words about the pregnancy, all I can say is the Lord knows and cares and he will once again see us through.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thanks for asking, and yes we do wear skirts all the time. This could be lengthy so prepare yourself. I will share my testimony of this. When Terry and I married I wore jeans and shorts like most. After the boys were born and we were around families and especially this one family that was a big influence and through this family I saw a testimony of modesty. I guess the real clincher for me was the scripture in the old testament that talks about a woman not putting on man’s clothing (jeans) was what brought the conviction and that was in 1993. I shared with Terry these thoughts and that I wanted to start wearing skirts/dresses on a reg. basis’s and for our girls too, so we did. Now as the boys got older and they were around 12 years old there was another season of change, up to this point I wore t-shirts, and they were not necessarily too tight but enough to show a form or shape. I noticed that one of the twins would not make eye contact with me over a period of time and finally had a talk with him and I was being a stumbling block to him, so at that point us girls started wearing more of a blouse or button down the front shirt. For our family these changes have never hindered our abilities or caused us not to be able to perform chores or participate in sports here with our family. There are some scriptures that we base our convictions on. I will give the ref. as I am not a good typer so if you could look them up Prov.31:10-11 and Prov.5:19 this talks about not being spoiled and this was a verse that I felt backed up our ideas of wearing blouses instead of t-shirts. In Prov. 5 it talks about our husbands are the ONLY ones that are to be ravished with our breasts and if we wear tight t-shirts that show our form other men are seeing what’s behind the clothes and therefore in one sense we are getting spoiled. Other scriptures I Cor. 6:20, a principle here tells us we are not our own and to glorify God in our bodies and spirit. So to me we can say adorn our outward bodies to please the Lord for who he created us to be and to show that we are grateful for his workmanship of being a woman. Col.1:21 talks about being reconciled, that means to change thoroughly from, I am a new creature in Christ so why would I wear old garments of the old nature. You have to understand that these are principles here that can be applied to modesty. Col.3:3- talks about how we are HID with Christ in God, here we can draw a principle of how we need to be hid behind clothing that does not draw attention to parts of our bodies and like to the top with tight t-shirts or tight jeans. I Thes. 4:6. This talks about how we need not defraud another, defraud means placing desires in others that we can not rightfully fulfill. Like if we stir up other men by the way we dress, we are defrauding them. I Tim.2:9. This is a command here telling us to adorn ourselves in modest apparel. There are some who see this scripture as referring to a long flowing garment. These are some basic ones here, maybe a start for you to study and meditate upon. I hope this has not blown you away but I feel like it is the truth of scripture and as the scripture says to be a Berean and search and see if these things be so. Blessings and may the Lord grow each of us to be more like him even by our adornment. An excellent resource on this topic is Cathy Corle’s book “What in the world should I wear?”.
WE ARE EXPECTING A NEW BABY!!!!!!
Danielle heads back today, We have had a good time. One thing for sure, she knows the real Morris' now. Pray for her as the Lord brings it to mind as she gets back to her routine and that the Lord would bless and order her steps!
Have a great day, it's a good day for our family!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Sept.13, 2003- Jan. 23, 2007
The Lord blessed us with you for 3 years 4 months and 10 days
18 months today......it seems like so long, he was really here, yet sometimes I find myself gazing at his picture and trying to remember all about him. One of the things that I miss so much is his voice. Joel and Josiah's voices were different. Actually Mercy sounds just like Joel when she says "Siah." I read a verse in Matt. 16:23, But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men. I guess today, 18 months later, I want to savourest the things that be of God, his plan for Joel, and not focus on things of men, like my loss, my thoughts that can tend to be selfish, my thoughts of leaning on my understanding of how my ideas are different than the Lord's. I want to savourest how the Lord has been faithful, how we are making it, how his providences are right and just. I want to savourest in the character of God, his person, his attributes, that whatsoever he does is with my good in mind. This is quite a challenge, because my natural tendency is to focus on the great loss of a son, a brother, and all the coulda, woulda and shoulda been!! To savourest in the things that be of God on this day will take me to the scriptures that he has given me over these last 18 months, and I wanted to share them, or many of them....
*Lo this, we have searched it, so it is; hear it, and know thou it for thy good. Job5:27
*Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this. In whose hand is the very soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:9-10
*Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass. Job 14:5
*As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness Ps. 17:15
*He asked life of thee, and thou gavest it him, even length of days for ever and ever. Ps. 21:4
*For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard. Ps. 22:24
*For the word of the Lord is right; and all his works are done in truth. Ps. 33:4
*For our soul is bowed down to the dust; our belly cleaveth unto the earth. Arise for our help, and redeem us for thy mercies sake. Ps.44:25-26
*He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me. Ps.55:18 (Joel has been delivered from the battle of cancer)
*I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me. Ps.57:2
*From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Ps. 61:2
*He shall abide before God forever...... Ps. 61:7
*Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who only doeth wonderous things. Ps. 72:18
*My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. Ps. 73:26 ( this is what I felt like the Lord spoke to me about Joel, God is his portion now)
*Let the sighing of the prisoner come before thee; according to the greatness of thy power preserve thou those that are appointed to die. Ps. 79:11 ( I read this 3 days before Joel went to Jesus)
*For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand....Ps. 84:10 ( Joel lived on this earth a little over a thousand days and a day in heaven is better than all he had here)
*Shall thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction? Ps. 88:11 ( and I can answer that....yes he is faithful)
*The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, yea than the mighty waves of the sea. Ps.93:4
*Ps. 102:18-28 (this passage I read and feel like it is Joel's story)
*For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears and my feet from falling. Ps. 116:8 ( reality is, Joel is delivered from this sin sick world)
*The Lord hall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Ps.128:5 ( this is a prayer that I pray)
* Ps. 139 ( God formed and made Joel just like he desired)
*But now thus saith the Lord that created thee O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. Is.43:1
*Instead of the thorn shall come up a fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off. Is.55:13 ( a prayer)
I just made it to Isaiah..... but as you can see so many scriptures to savourest in, to meditate upon, he has given them like I mentioned as stepping stones, I started on one and here I am today and he is still giving them to me, and you know what, I envision these stones as leading me straight to Joel, one day we will be together again!! I miss him incredibly, I cry everyday, my heart has a hole that is forever there, some days the pain is so overwhelming.....I have to purpose to savourest on the things of God!!!
I love you still, I miss you so much!!!!
Monday, July 21, 2008
I read a scripture that gave me insight as to what I want to happen at the end of my life......Joshua 23:14, And, behold, this day I am going the way of the earth: and ye know in all your hearts and in all your souls, that not one thing hath failed of all the good things which the Lord your God spake concerning you; all are come to pass unto you, and not one thing hath failed thereof. At the end of my life, by his grace, I will not have a finger to raise to the Lord because of his infinite wisdom, his providential plans, his dealings pertaining to our trial with Joel and literally my whole life, but I am specifically thinking with Joel. It will be as the scripture says, all that the Lord has in mind that will be harvested from this trial is for good, it will all come to pass, and not one idea, plan or thought will fail from the Lord's workings, and I will not have any reason to lift my finger to him and question his dealings and ask, "what doest thou in the armies of heaven and among the inhabitants of man?" I keep trudging forward, some days are much easier and then there are just "those" days too that befall my heart with great longings and pains that run so deep. Especially the mornings and when I lay my head on my pillow, thoughts of Joel are in my mind, some I can have a quiet laugh about and then there are the ones that are so dark, pertaining to his cancer, the pain, all that he endured, and especially the 2nd time at the hospital when he was in the coma......my little boy forever! I think about heaven so much, sometimes I feel like it I am there more in my mind than here. It literally feels so close, its hard to envision and yet what I can come up with the scriptures tell that the eye and the hear hath not seen or heard or even entered into the heart of man which God hath prepared for them that love him!! (2 Cor.2:9) Still seeking to trust him with the plan....I certainly struggle in thoughts and emotions but I just have to keep laying it before him and allow him to help carry the cross that has been given to us!! I guess I want to carry it standing straight and feeling honored instead of hunching over and sometimes asking "why me?" Through him I can......
Well.... the little adventure on Saturday went well, but we did not get home until about 1:20 am. Now today Monday, I feel like I am still recovering! I walked into the living room this morning and it looked like a tornado went through, a total mess, but the great thing about it, the children now have an understanding what makes their mom have a great Monday....a clean and orderly home, so they all worked together and had er' in good shape very soon! Next on the agenda after lunch....a Rodeo of their own making, Andrew and Micah got it going and had bucking chutes and the whole deal for Hosanna, Josiah and Jeremiah to play "ride em goats." They gave a pretty good ride, I think they want more action so now the thoughts are toward those little calves in the pasture:) I am glad they are so creative and they do not sit around (too much) and say "I don't have nothin' to do." Micah and Andrew are getting the mower going, it looks pretty wild and woolly around here. Anna is helping me prepare a meal for a family that we will take it over to in a little bit and then we have to get our dinner in the making! So as you see we are just hanging out here and doing all the Monday stuff. Oh and it is so very hot here now, I feel for the guys working out in the heat. They try to take in alot of fluids, wear hats and sunscreen. Tomorrow they are pouring a concrete slab for a Build Block house that they already went up with the walls.Right now some are swimming in the pond, yikes.... I would not do that, I know there are snakes in there!! And speaking of snakes, Bethany always takes her little "Duffy"(her inside foo foo dog, a maltese) out in the front yard in the evenings and for some reason she happened to look down and there was a copper head on the front porch, Micah shot it with the gun, I am so thankful that the Lord protected her bare ankles!!
I know we are crazy.......but we got another pupppy, BUT this one is suppose to do work!!! Its an Australian Shepherd, a herding dog or so Bethany is going to train it!! He is 11 weeks old, he's really cute, blue glassy eyes, Bethany will probably post soon about him on her blog so keep checking hers. We named him Rancho!!
Thanks for checking on us, I do not know who all is reading but I do have a tracker to tell me how many viewers, it has ranged from a little over 4oo to averaging around 250 a day) and I am very encouraged that Joel's story is still going forth and his little life is not forgotten, I hope to we can be a blessing to you all as you have been to us!!
Friday, July 18, 2008
When you are right in the middle of a "darkness," it is very hard to have a right perspective. At almost 18 months of being separated from Joel, in some ways there is a sense of emerging and being able to "see." I read a scripture this morning that spoke to me as what was happening when the darkness was ever before us. Ex.10:21&23, And the Lord said unto Moses, stretch out thine hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the land of Egypt, even darkness which may be felt. They saw not one another, neither rose any from his place for three days: but all the children of Israel had light in their dwellings. The darkness was and I am sure at moments to come can be so heavy that it is literally felt so deeply within our hearts, yet as I did not see it at the time but the Lord was in our dwelling with His light, his presence, his comfort, his truth. So as I look "back" I can say he was there even when I did not feel or know it, and that just proves who he is.....Faithful!! Now as for the days ahead I must meditate upon what he has done in the past and know through his faithfulness he will continue to be here in our dwelling with his light!! He took not away the pillar of the cloud by day, nor the pillar of fire by night, from before the people, Ex 13:22. I thought it was interesting that the fire is the light in the night and so it is that when we have a darkness or a trial, it may very well be a time of refining and that comes by a fire. Either way, we have the promise that he will be with us whether by cloud or fire.
As I was reading this morning I found several things to pray for, I really like praying scripture as it will bring forth a groaning to the Lord that is not mingled with my thoughts and ideas but his. Gen 49:25, Even by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts and of the womb. Really I have already been blessed with all these things; Joel in heaven above, the children that are here that lieth under, and blessings of the womb, yet I turned that verse into a prayer and asked the Lord if he was willing to bless us again with a fruitful womb. And then in Ex. 15:17, Thou shalt bring them in, and plant them in the mountain of thine inheritance, in the place, O Lord, which thou hast made for thee to dwell in, in the Sanctuary, O Lord, which thy hands have established. Through this verse I was asking the Lord to grant generations of faith through the loins of every child until the appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ, that our sons would be valiant for the truth, have victory over sin, the flesh and the devil, that our daughters would be women that live the truth as well, that seek womanhood, motherhood and become the help meet to her husband and that they would be fruitful with thousands in Israel, this is a prayer I pray often, desiring the Lord to do a mighty work in each!!
This morning we had to go to the feed store and get Josiah and Hosie work gloves, their dear dad is getting all the little ones these work gloves......maybe he is thinking that he will get some work out of them. They do work pretty hard around here so I think it was more of a reward then anything.
Lets see whats on the agenda for the Morris crew......right now the girls are making some preparations for tomorrow as we are going on a visit to the Burnetts Saturday, to a Peach Festival and then having dinner at their home and then going to the Peach festival rodeo, so we will not be here much as to prepare for church on Sunday. Terry and Hosanna are going to do the Farmer's Market in the morning and then we will head out! Farm news....mostly just maintenance, although Bethany has been doing vet work here in pulling blood samples from her goats for testing!!!! Anna is trying to find a bull to breed her heifer to in the next three weeks, and before you know it it will be time to order our chickens again, the first of August. The garden is still giving fruit, lots of squash, zucchini and tomatoes, okra and peppers. I made and canned spaghetti sauce yesterday and it tastes so fresh! Anna has several pumpkins, but one of them is absolutely so HUGE, we are guessing it might weigh 70 -80 pounds, I tried to pick it up and could barely move it so it might weigh 100 pounds! What do you think it weighs?? And does anyone know when it should be picked? Maybe we should have a contest for fun and have people guess after she has harvested it, stay tuned. So tonight we are gonna have dinner and guess what ......play volley ball!!! The teams are really working together now and the Gellenbeck's or some of them might join us. Thats about it around here.....
May the Lord bless your families this weekend as you spend time together!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
This is the bread recipe we use. We also use this recipe for our pizza crust, dinner rolls, hamburger and hot dog buns and for Stromboli, also I divide in four portions and roll up jelly roll style and make French bread. We do use a Bosch mixer and others have told me that did not use a Bosch did not get the same results so I guess you might have to buy a Bosch:) I love ours, or Bethany does, she makes all the bread items around here. Also you will get different results if you do not add all the ingredients listed. We are able to grind our own flour, which we use hard white Montana Prairie Gold.You will get different results if you purchase wheat flour from the store, but if that is your only option I would still go ahead or you could get some at a health food store (1st choice) We use a large plastic cup to cut the hamburger buns out and the same cup to do the hot dog buns except squeezing it together to form an oblong shape (Bethany's great idea) I thought I would post this recipe as something I could do for you!!! If you do not have a Bosch you certainly can try some sort of heavy duty mixer/kneader with a dough hook. This recipe makes 3 10 inch loaves or 24 hamburger buns, you could make a few buns and divide up the rest for bread loaves too, if you do not need 24 buns like us!!!!!!! As far as freezing, I let the bread cool and pop it in bread bags and freeze, when ready to use, we thaw at room temp and then slice and enjoy!!!
4 Cups of warm water (we use tap water, not too cold to wrist and not too hot, that probably doesn't make sense:)
3 Tb. Olive Oil
3/4 Cup Honey
4 Cups of Flour
6 Tsp. active dry yeast ( i think the Sam's yeast is the best)
**** *Mix all the above ingredients together for 30 seconds on #1 speed, turn off and let set 10 minutes******
Next add: 4 1/2 Tsp. Salt
2 vitamin C tablets crushed (we crush these in a pill crusher)
3 Tbl. Lethicin granules (get this at a health food store)
Now here is the key, you have to add flour until you get a soft dough, but do it cup by cup, not at one time, the total amount will be around 4 cups, it could be 3 1/2, you want a soft dough but still needs to hold its shape, too much flour will give you a heavy loaf and too little will produce a flimsy piece of bread. It really takes a little bit of practice to see and know the feel of the texture you need, but you can do it!!!
Now after the flour has been added, knead on #1 for 10 minutes, someone told me if your using the Bosch to knead with the outer lid on only because the inner lid could break. After kneading 10 minutes, turn off and let set 10 minutes. Finally, after that for bread, you will either divide in 3 portions, making the loaf shape with your hands and place in three loaf pans or proceed to make the buns. For the buns we roll out about 1/2 inch thick. Place on sprayed cookie sheet and let rise about 20 minutes, cook in 350 degrees for about 20 minutes or until light brown. Allow buns to cool on wire rack and then slice open with electric knife, they look nice if your able to do this!
****For bread in the loaf pans, ( I love my loaf pans, 10 inch Norpro, I ordered them) let rise about 45 -60 minutes, bake 350 degrees for 35- 40 minutes, you'll just have to check on it, as ovens vary. Remove from pan on wire rack and cool. We always use an electric knife to slice, makes it more sandwich looking. Especially for sandwiches it will need to cool completely.
There you have it....I hope that you have success, we are able to make all our bread needs with this recipe and hope you can too!!!! Of course this bread is the only bread that Joel ever ate his "Peanut Jelly" on his whole life of 3 years ........you see there are memories everywhere and I can smile at those happy ones!!!!!
**** After we get our burgers cooked tonight I will add a photo of the finished hamburger bun all dressed up and ready to dive into!!!!!! Check back later for that if you like!!!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
On this journey of perpetual grieving there is a winding road of emotions and feelings, I envision it as a road that is aligned with signs that will get me to the next point. If I seek to abide in the Vine I will see with my spiritual eyes signs that have truth written on them. This morning I read two verses one is what I have to "do" and the other is what I should expect. I Peter 2:23,...when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously. This is what I have to do everyday, or need to, I have to commit to know with truth as my guide that God has made a righteous judgment in the fact that we had Joel with us for a certain time frame according to God's infinite wisdom. That is why I enjoy spending time in the word, I need his continual confirmation that this was no accident or let the "what if"s" take place in my mind. I have to commit myself to the Lord's righteous judgments that this is the most wise and holy plan of the Almighty God. Then as I do this, scripture says that.......I Peter 5:10,...after ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you. The first three words have the idea of completing, adjusting, preparing, and then settling has the idea of the foundation, so I am getting built up anew, by God's grace a finished product better than what was, is in the Lord's mind. Now I think we would all "like " to be perfected without all the pain of trials, but reality is if the Lord learned obedience this way, why would we think it would be otherwise for us. I read somewhere that we ask "why," but really it should be "why not?" I guess I am thankful for the signs along the way to tell me what to do next, and if I can keep hearing these truths, that is direction and that brings comforts to me. A must for me is to stay in the Word and committing myself to the truth that his ways are better and higher than mine!!!
Ok....Tuesday..... just keeping things going, more laundry, littles are swimming again, making supper preparations for a quick one as the guys say we are going to a Rodeo tonight, Lord willing!! Somehow it has gotten in their blood, maybe from me, as in my youth days I did ride horses in shows and stuff. I guess they think all those Wranglers on the fence yesterday are all clean and need to be used:)
Some of you all are so funny, asking about my little smiles around the "friends" words and wondering if maybe some of the older ones have (: friends:) Well not yet, but we are looking forward to whenever the Lord starts that new season of life and the prospect of giving us a heritage of faith through grandchildren, but these friends are folks that the Lord has crossed our path with that we are seeking to encourage and minister to in their walk with the Lord and in their walk of life that they are in. So you do not have to be curious anymore!!!!! I give you credit for being so observant!!!!!
The guys have been doing "one day" type jobs, in between some of the big ones, waiting for others to do their things, like plumbers and such. It is always so exciting how the Lord continues to bring phone calls and the opportunities that are give to them for work, we are thankful!!
Tomorrow.....working Wednesday, I get a clean house, thanks to the house full of hard workers!!!! Even Danielle does her "chores" too!!!
May the Lord accomplish his workings in each of us preparing us for that day of meeting Him face to face.....
Monday, July 14, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
This is about what we have been doing with the grandparents (Terry's folks) Of course on Friday we had to serve them "home grown stuff," grilled BBQ chicken, roasted red potatoes, zucchini and squash and our corn....yummy, and then Anna topped off with an Italian dessert, Tiramisu'. Then volley ball, like alot of volley ball!!!.....late nights, coffee. Saturday, Terry and his mom picked and prodded in the garden awhile, we had a big hamburger cookout and you know, all that goes with that, water balloons got smashed in with the little ones swimming in their pool, next was GIANT KITE FLYING, I mean very big ones.....alot of fun with another:)friend(: that came over,(the one they are holding on to is a stunt kite) after that we wanted to take "Pop" to POPS in Arcadia, where they have 12,000 pop bottles on display, and of course we had to try some......ate some left overs and now games are under way, Rook first and now they are in a big Scrabble game that could last a loooong time!! In between we have enjoyed concerts, brings back alot of memories when Caleb and Daniel use to practice their instruments 6-8 hours a day,(getting up very early and staying up soo late!!) they wouldn't mind doing that these days, but working with their dad is using up much of the time. I remember when they practiced and Joel and Josiah would get a "tiny" violin out and pretend to play......sweet memories!!!! It's loud and crazy, who knows when the lights will be out around here.... and I guess Sunday evening NaNa and Pop will do their usual "pizza night and Blue Bell ice-cream....Pop is acting soooo crazy right now, he is certainly entertaining the little ones!!!!!! May the Lord bless each household with a wonderful Lord's day tomorrow!!!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
So much of the time I think I am my worst enemy......my mind that is......sometimes I think my plan is better.....I read these scriptures this morning, John 14:22-23, Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world? This question has rolled around in my mind so much, it has to be one of the greatest longings, to "see something," good come out of this trial. I have literally thought of ways the Lord should manifest himself to me. Of course my first idea of how I thought the Lord should manifest himself was to heal Joel, to have him awake out of the coma and prove the Dr's wrong, another way was when I became preg. last summer (miscarry started in Aug. but did not complete until Dec.) I had in my mind that the Lord was manifesting himself to me and giving me my Ephraim, (fruitfulness in the land of my suffering) then on another note, I had ways and ideas in my mind of how God could provide a work truck. He did not use my idea, it came through "in all labor there is profit." Also as with another baby, I can think in my mind how God should make us fruitful again and give something back for the loss. So you see, in my mind, I can think of ways He could manifest himself to me, kinda like I think I can run the ship, my plan is better. I too have asked that question and wonder how he will manifest himself. I am looking to "see" something big, eventful, maybe a display, like the people of his day, they wanted to "see" a real looking King, ruling a real looking kingdom. But you know what, when I read the next verse, it encouraged me that he has manifested himself to me, in quiet, humble, lowly ways, but still with an authority, authenticity, he has showed himself .....Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me,(a relationship) he will keep my words:(he is teaching me obedience) and my Father will love him,(fellowship) and we will come unto him,(give me comfort) and make our abode with him.(his presence) So in these four ways the Lord has and is manifesting himself to me. I have a relationship with the Lord through his forgiveness of my sin and his cleansing blood to my heart, he is manifesting himself to me as I read his word and am seeking to learn obedience to it, he is manifesting himself to me in that he says we will come unto him, his Holy Spirit is here with me in this trial and is comforting me, and he says he will come and abode with me, he is manifesting his presence here with me. Now the Lord can and does have power to do supernatural things and manifest himself, but isn't it like him to also come as he came before, in a low, humble way, so he is manifesting himself to me, I just didn't "see" it clearly until this passage of scripture. I like the ending scripture of this section, ....he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. How many times has he in the past brought scriptures to my remembrance, he has really manifests himself to us more than we acknowledge it and it is his quiet still voice. O Lord, continue to manifest you self to my heart, and forgive me for telling you and thinking of ways in my own finite mind of how I think you should do things!!!! Your plan is the best with little boys that have cancer, with pregnancies that I longed for, with pregnancies that I hope for and even with trucks!!!!! May you manifest yourself to every person that reads your truth, not my words, your words give life, mine are just black ink on a page.
I know I might repeat myself with remembrances with Joel and how those memories are happy ones and deeply sad. My subconscious mind holds all the sad ones, because I do not like to go there in memory, but sometimes something triggers that memory and the deep pain rushes out. So speaking, writing about it allows the memory to go forth and once again let it go back into that little chamber until another trigger. I had one of those moments yesterday on my shopping trip, huge crying, like couldn't breath the pain was so intense.....it was the man in the blue surgeon scrubs that came around the corner at Sams......Terry and I were the only ones at the hospital that day, so the children can not know the depth of this moment. Like I have said, other than immediate family, no one has ever taken care of Joel, nor have we ever had to place him in someone else arms. When I saw that blue surgeon suit, I felt an overwhelming pain of that morning we placed Joel in the surgeons arms for him to have surgery to place his port for the use of chemo. I remember Terry and I wept so hard as we waited for him. Joel, so innocent, so vulnerable, so little, I am no Abraham by any means but that feeling was so intense, only the Sovereign Lord Jesus Christ can get a person through it..... and he did!!!
I think the guys had to tone down their initial plans due to unavailability of getting together what they really wanted to do this weekend with grandparents, we'll just give them credit for "trying to make big plans!!!" We'll have a good time anyway with the grandparents due in tomorrow after lunch!!!!
Today..... we have some things to do after lunch, errands and the girls want to go shopping at a few stores, so Josh, Jeremiah, Hosie, Siah, Mercy, Anna, Bethany, Danielle and myself will head out after we get our lunch. We are going to fix our Chinese meal again tonight, so we have to make haste. I want to maybe tomorrow post a picture of those won ton things we make, they are so good!! There are still some that have questions about how we do, what we do and stuff, I will be ever so glad to answer any questions via e-mail if you like, the address is at the top of the blog.
Thanks for keeping on with us......I am the one blessed!!!!!