Wednesday, July 23, 2008

18 Months......

Joel Caleb Morris

Sept.13, 2003- Jan. 23, 2007
The Lord blessed us with you for 3 years 4 months and 10 days

18 months seems like so long, he was really here, yet sometimes I find myself gazing at his picture and trying to remember all about him. One of the things that I miss so much is his voice. Joel and Josiah's voices were different. Actually Mercy sounds just like Joel when she says "Siah." I read a verse in Matt. 16:23, But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men. I guess today, 18 months later, I want to savourest the things that be of God, his plan for Joel, and not focus on things of men, like my loss, my thoughts that can tend to be selfish, my thoughts of leaning on my understanding of how my ideas are different than the Lord's. I want to savourest how the Lord has been faithful, how we are making it, how his providences are right and just. I want to savourest in the character of God, his person, his attributes, that whatsoever he does is with my good in mind. This is quite a challenge, because my natural tendency is to focus on the great loss of a son, a brother, and all the coulda, woulda and shoulda been!! To savourest in the things that be of God on this day will take me to the scriptures that he has given me over these last 18 months, and I wanted to share them, or many of them....

*Lo this, we have searched it, so it is; hear it, and know thou it for thy good. Job5:27
*Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this. In whose hand is the very soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:9-10
*Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass. Job 14:5
*As for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness Ps. 17:15
*He asked life of thee, and thou gavest it him, even length of days for ever and ever. Ps. 21:4
*For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard. Ps. 22:24
*For the word of the Lord is right; and all his works are done in truth. Ps. 33:4
*For our soul is bowed down to the dust; our belly cleaveth unto the earth. Arise for our help, and redeem us for thy mercies sake. Ps.44:25-26
*He hath delivered my soul in peace from the battle that was against me: for there were many with me. Ps.55:18 (Joel has been delivered from the battle of cancer)
*I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me. Ps.57:2
*From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Ps. 61:2
*He shall abide before God forever...... Ps. 61:7
*Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who only doeth wonderous things. Ps. 72:18
*My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever. Ps. 73:26 ( this is what I felt like the Lord spoke to me about Joel, God is his portion now)
*Let the sighing of the prisoner come before thee; according to the greatness of thy power preserve thou those that are appointed to die. Ps. 79:11 ( I read this 3 days before Joel went to Jesus)
*For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand....Ps. 84:10 ( Joel lived on this earth a little over a thousand days and a day in heaven is better than all he had here)
*Shall thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction? Ps. 88:11 ( and I can answer that....yes he is faithful)
*The Lord on high is mightier than the noise of many waters, yea than the mighty waves of the sea. Ps.93:4
*Ps. 102:18-28 (this passage I read and feel like it is Joel's story)
*For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears and my feet from falling. Ps. 116:8 ( reality is, Joel is delivered from this sin sick world)
*The Lord hall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Ps.128:5 ( this is a prayer that I pray)
* Ps. 139 ( God formed and made Joel just like he desired)
*But now thus saith the Lord that created thee O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. Is.43:1
*Instead of the thorn shall come up a fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off. Is.55:13 ( a prayer)

I just made it to Isaiah..... but as you can see so many scriptures to savourest in, to meditate upon, he has given them like I mentioned as stepping stones, I started on one and here I am today and he is still giving them to me, and you know what, I envision these stones as leading me straight to Joel, one day we will be together again!! I miss him incredibly, I cry everyday, my heart has a hole that is forever there, some days the pain is so overwhelming.....I have to purpose to savourest on the things of God!!!

I love you still, I miss you so much!!!!


Anonymous said...

The verses you shared brought tears of thankfulness to my eyes! So many of them are ones that our Lord has used to steady me in stormy times and to comfort me when "my flesh and my heart faileth." Last night I found a folder of poems/thoughts/prayers I wrote in 2005 and had titled Faithful and True from Revelation 19:11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.
And thank you for the reminder that "His providences are right and just." A poem I wrote this year ended "I do not understand a thing, But to the Solid Rock I cling." I am praying for you and for your family! May the Lord bless and comfort you.....
: ) Thankful ( :

sumi said...

Hi Cindy,

I don't have many words tonight but I just wanted to send some love your way. I always love seeing your pictures of Joel. He looks like such a sweetie pie.