Friday, January 23, 2015

happy birthday +heaven day

Happy 13th birthday to hosanna and 8 years ago, our sweet 3 yo joel caleb went to live with Jesus. A day of celebrating and weeping. Hosie and an all white once upon a time party! 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015


 Well here we are again, almost 8 years ago, the 23rd my sweet Joel flew to Jesus! How can and could it all have happened? and to a three year old? It will never be different, even 99 years from now, the missing and wishing it all would have never happened! Sometimes spurts of anger spring up. What was the purpose? I have to keep thinking that his plan is good. I will never be the same person ever again. So many times I still feel like I'm living outside it all and looking on from a distance. Shadow of Death is always looming! But I get up everyday and keep fixing meals and keep doing laundry and keep doing the mundane. Thank you praying. for being with us these 8 years! 

Also, Terry has another job. He actually has 3 jobs. The construction business, his life business and now a part time job in guthrie. Twenty hours a week. Our finaicial situation is at its worst in our marriage. I mean we are not even in debt. I have been looking for houses to clean. So far nothing has turned up. It's crazy. I thought when some of the kids left/moved out we might could start to do some things. Projects or maybe even travel. Now it's just trying to buy groceries. Why complain? I'm trying not to. Lord knows I don't want more discouragement! We have a warm house and health, so we do have much to be grateful for. 

Hope you all are having a good start the 2015!! So ready for Spring!! And warmth!some blue skies are carrying me though!! 

Had a fun day at the free zoo day yesterday with rowdy and the little kids!! Beautiful day!!

Much love!!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Erin and family

So happy to make a little trip to California and spend time with Erin's family.

Friday, December 5, 2014


It's beginning to look like Christmas over here!!

Sunday, November 30, 2014

me and roo

Rowdy is so sweet!! I always wondered what it would feel like to love a grandchild. It just didn't seem possible that I could love a child equally as I did my own kids I had birthed. But it's the same felt love. He is my little world of sunshine!!