Thursday, May 15, 2008
He Causeth, He maketh, He bringeth...
I think for me one of the most wearisome exercises in this grief journey is the fact that I'm not only grieving but batteling the enemy. Being already in a sort of weakened state, the enemy bombardes my mind with thoughts. His attacks are on whom he hates most, God's people, God's character and person, and God's place-heaven. The enemy consistently brings questions to my mind about God's control and it is only in the truth of scripture that I can stand against the tormentor. Seeking to think and meditate upon the truth that speaks that God is in control of our every breath, that we can not exceed the bounds he has purposed is something I must be consistent at. The enemy brings thought to my mind that God does not care about my hurt and causes me to question and wonder if the Lord hears my requests and prayers He brings thoughts to my mind of "well I can just go on by myself if the Lord dosen't help." And then he distorts the most true and perfect place and the hope befor me. He brings thoughts to my mind such as "there are so many people in eternity, Joel is lost in the crowd." This thought can really sadden a mothers heart. I continue to need the truth even if Joel is not here that all is well and peaceful with him. In Ps. 136:7-6 Whatsoever the Lord pleased, that did he in heaven, and in earth, in the seas, and all the deep places. In v.7, I like the words he maketh, he causeth, he bringeth. If it has pleased him then it is best for me. In v.3&5 It tells me that the Lord is good, his name is pleasant, and the Lord is great. Bringing every thought captive and to think on things that are true, that is where the calm is in the storm.The difficulty is, this exercise is hard. Sometimes I just get tired and want to put it in neutral and go forward without all the effort. I like the expression in v.7, he bringeth the wind out of his treasuries.When I think of treasures, it brings a hope of something that I do not know about. That is having the unseen faith of what lies ahead. I will keep putting one foot in front of the other...... I know it might seem like I write and rewrite the same thoughts, but this is where I am right now.
Yesterday was grocery day. All went well and was uneventful. That is a wonderful thing and I was grateful!!!
I bought some flowers yesterday, Josiah got his little shovel and was digging and working so hard. The patio at the side of our driveway is a peaceful place and Joel enjoyed sitting out there. The wood fence came about because behind it is the boys music studio and I did not want it sticking out like a sore thumb, so one thing led to another. We enjoy the evenings when we can sit out there and sip some coffee and have the fire going....cozy!!!!
Later in the evening the children decided to have a "Rodeo." We have a steer that is to be butchered in a few weeks and was born cripple, but he gave Andrew a good ride. Where do they get all these ideas??????
Remember the little Emily, a 7 year old twin that was struggliing with neuroblastoma a few months ago, well her battle has been won now....she went to live with Jesus on Mon. If you think about it pray for them, their new journey is just starting
Not a whole lot else going on around here. May the Lord give us grace to know......he causeth, he maketh, he bringeth!!!!