Sunday, November 27, 2011

a note of thanks and what HE hath done!!

Only a few more days and we will be a the beginning of beginnings. December 4th, the "date" when it seemed like literally the floodgates of "hell" crashed down upon our lives. A day I will never forget and will live many times over as long as I have breath. A blanket of darkness that enshrouded my heart, my breath, my eyes.....a suffocating blackness like I had never experienced. Voices swirling around with resounding words that one would hope to never hear about their child......"cancer, life-threatening, procedures, shots, surgery's! Giggles and laughter turning into cries and wales of "no more mommy, it hurts mommy, hold me mommy, help me mommy!" It all visits me again, the "shadow of sickness/ death." Its been a long almost 5 years. How could it be? So much has been missed by you not being here. How could one even begin to breath/live again? Jesus, there is no other name above your name! Thats how.....Jesus! Slowly, slowly, prayer, cries, the Word, seeking, asking, others, love, and repeat all that over 5 year time frame and that is how! I have made it and only by His wonderful grace and mercy and seeking to trust that His plans are done in love for my good and His glory!! So many "God things" have transpired from this deep. I feel like personally I have and am learning truths of God that one could only learn through such trials. If I was asked to describe God in one word from this trial, it would be Faithful! Isn't that His very name? "And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war." Rev. 19:11 His judgements are true, that means to me that what he places on the scales is right, that means to me that His plans are right! My heart rests in that hope. In these almost 5 years, I know, I am sure that God's will has been done. Yes, I still grieve, yes I still cry and long and miss but a scripture in Isaiah 33:21 encourages my heart that its not all over with, even though Joel is not here any longer. God just didn't leave the scene and move on to the next prospect for a trial. Even now God still is working and has plans to unfold from Joel's story and life. "The glorious Lord will be unto us a place of broad rivers and streams." You see God has allowed Joel's story to travel "abroad like a river and streams." God has expanded in a way that is so broad that in our families lifetime I do not think we could have ever touched, helped, made contact with encouraged, come to know via the cyber world the numbers that a blog about a 3 yo little boy did!!! This has nothing to do with me or our family, it has everything to do about God and a little boy! And when I have the opportunity to see a visual because of a few numbers, then I am blessed! I am thankful to the Lord that its not over and everyday proves it! This is my 1009 post! And in these almost 5 years we have had over 205,000 viewers. I know thats not a huge amount but its an amount that I know our family could have never communicated with except through this way......a blog!! So, I want you all to know, we are so grateful for YOU!! Thank you for everything, your words, your tears, your encouragement, your help, your support, your love and much more!! I have literally become "friends" with so many of you even though we have not met in person. You all are a special part of my life and I enjoy sharing our life with you, I enjoy sharing what God has done with you and Lord willing I look forward to continuing to share what God has and is doing in our family!

May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you and give you peace!!

much love,



Daniel and Jaynee Lockwood and Family said...

God's Amazing Grace. He is so faithful, so good, and so wonderful! Thinking of the first day I heard of Joel and your family. So thankful for the Lord blessing me and encouraging me through your friendship. Jesus is the most precious, sweet name and I'm so glad that because of Him we are not only friends but will be family forever!
Love you and miss you!!!

Teena said...

God is faithful! I am so thankful for you! I remember first hearing about Joel. It was from Jennifer Darby and a board I was/am on. My heart broke as I would read each day.... I have shared w/ others through the yrs.

Your strength, honesty and love for Jesus has touched me and so many.

How you love being who God made you... wife, mom... is such a great example. Such an encouragement to me and so many.

I love you dearly and really hope one day our families can meet. I think my kids would be so blessed to know there are others who live differently... I know they would love being w/ Josiah and Hosie... and all the rest.

Praying for you EXTRA these next 7wks. I will never forget.

Joel's journey continues to point others to Jesus!

Much love,

Stephanie said...

God never ceases to amaze me how He chooses to work and spread His name and glory! Thanks for sharing your story!