Monday, February 2, 2009

Was Down, Now Up !


We are no doubt blessed, we have a wonderful church family, we have friends that come to our home frequently, and we love it!!! We play games, have dinner, act "crazy and funny," there are laughs till your belly hurts, there is stories, there is a fellowship that comes from these folks that are in Christ and we know that any one of them would go to extreme measures for us and some have. All those things I listed took place yesterday and over the weekend, but last night as I curled up in my bed, all I could do was cry, cry out to God and plead to Him and ask Him "why?" Even though my life is so full, there is this "hole" that is just there, its "my Joel hole." It seems no matter what I do, I can even have fun with all the people and my family but its there all the time......he's missing! I got to thinking, thats what the Bible is all about isn't it? Its about a people, those that have been made "New" in Christ, its about their trials, their victories, heartache, death, joys of children, faith being passed on to future generations, its about a people that have "little" faith, about folks that have a "big" faith, its about some that were delivered and some tht were not,(in this life) and in the midst of all, these folks were living in the same world that we live in, they lived, sought, prayed, the same Amazing, All Powerful, Almighty, Creator, that I have! So God has to be enough for me as He was for them. Somehow I finally fell asleep with a heart that said,"I just need to keep believing and trusting." This morning as I sat on my bed before I opened my Bible, I pleaded with the Lord to speak to my heart, to come and visit this vine, Oh how I needed His words. I was reading in Jeremiah and He was faithful. Jeremiah acted with faith, 32:9, And I bought the field of Hanameel my uncle's son.....sometimes I find myself saying, "I give up, nothing good has happenend from this." When I read this verse it encouraged me to keep believing, for even though difficulties have come just as God's people there in Jeremiah's time and he was telling them of firery trials to come and they certainly went through them, in verse 42, For thus saith the Lord; Like as I have bought all this evil upon this people, so will I bring upon them all the good that I have promised them. Just as God has trials for us He does have "good" for us as well, and I was encouraged in my heart to keep believing, to keep hoping, to be a Jeremiah and to act with a faith that He will bring good because He has promised. I repeated apart of the prayer Jeremiah said t0 the Lord in verse 17, Ah Lord God! behold, thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee......(v18) the Great, the Mighty God, the Lord of hosts, is his name. There are very few times it seems, when I hit a low, that He comes in His Faihtfulness and with His word he picks me back up and gets me going again......thank you Lord!

Well....Friday's schedule did carry over today and we did get school done. Also the guys are working hard as they are wanting to finish up this giant house as close to the scheldule that was estimated. It has been a blessing to have work this past month. Terry is preparing to make a bid that might take them out of town, but they have to go where there is work.

I am taking advantage of Anna's piano skills and have lined up Hosanna, Josh, Jeremiah and we'll see how Siah holds out with piano lessons on a regular schedule. Caleb and Daniel use to do all the teaching to the younger ones, but no time for that anymore. It looks like Bethany will be getting a violin student that will be coming to our home once a week, if it still works out. Music has always been apart of our family, more so when Caleb and Daniel were still doing school work. I remember after lunch we would have violins, a viola and the piano all going, in different rooms and then taking them to string lessons once a week, dropping one off here and taking two of them to another place, and me and the little ones going to a park waiting to pick them up. Joel and Josiah liked to go to the Rocket park, and sometimes we would scrape up change and go to the Dollar Store and get some Little Debbies. Sometimes I say to myself,"yea, those were the days." Things change, life goes on, and now I live a "new normal," beautiful and wonderful memories!!!!

I have a few weeks yet, but Jeremiah's birthday is on the horizon, the 18th, he'll be 9! I have got to get my brain going for him. I think we'll be a little more "low key." Looking ahead, we have to start thinking about our broiler chickens we'll be ordering and getting in here in about 3 weeks. Bethany's kidding season is not as early this year, but she has to start ordering all her supplies before too long. I want to do some outside landscape projects but that will all hinge on resources. I am soooo ready for Spring! I am ready to see "life" and get all this dead looking stuff put away! Lord willing, Terry is gearing up for the garden season, our garden area is the biggest we have had, a little over an acre. The back part of it needs major soil work. The front part has had 15 years of work and improvement and usually yields well (Lord willing) We hope to do the Farmer's Market again in Guthrie. Every season brings tears for me, Joel so loved helping his daddy in the garden, racing his dumptruck in the fresh tilled dirt, I will just try to let the memories soak down through the jagged, broken heart and believe, hope and trust.......my Great God!!!!

Blessings to you on this Monday!!

2 comments:

sewbusy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
tntstanifer said...

I have the same occasional "down" time that you speak of. It's mostly around certain anniversaries. Every once in a while it can catch me unawares. But, the hole is there all the time. Thank you for sharing and encouraging me with scripture. I also want to thank you for sharing your life. I have just begun to homeschool my children and I get encouragement from reading about others who do the same.
God Bless,
Terri
http://tntstanifer.wordpress.com/