I received an e-mail from my "new friend" in Bulgaria and I was so moved to tears with a statement she made,
...........You are now in my thoughts daily as I try to imagine what you've been through, but surely cannot fathom it. At times I have gone into the boys' room while they are sleeping and one by one tried to picture God taking one of them to Heaven, the empty gap it would leave, the empty bed, the unused clothes, the missing boy in the line-up of our guys, the never knowing why it needed to happen, wondering if I could somehow have prevented it, all the human feelings and reactions, and though I don't know what it really is like, it certainly helps me be more thankful for each day together. It helps me relax about the unimportant things that used to be so irritating. It makes life so much more precious.
Here is a mommy that I just met with such handsome boys herself, my heart was touched to think that she sought to relate in some way to my sorrow, she moved as close as she could get and that put me to tears, to think she would "think" for a moment the pain that our family has gone through. I was blessed as she expressed her sorrow with me in this way, thank you Katie. Her family is a missionary family, they are expecting their 7th boy to their all boy crew, and she also has placenta previa, so pray for her as she continues this blessed pregnancy!
Joel's toddler bed......put away.....unused
Joel's clothes......stored away......unused
Joel's special toys that were his.....packed away......unused
Oh, Lord, allow Joel's 3 years of life to be used.....
Make me to be used.....
Make our family to be used......
Use us , for your glory!!!!