Thursday, February 28, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Finding things you've left behind
Brings tears to eyes and thoughts to mind
Moving the couch and finding your snakes
I try to be brave, yet my heart still breaks
Cleaned out closets; blankets, tractors I see
All these treasures were once a need
Pulled open a drawer, found "undies" size three
Oh, how small you seemed to be
You don't need these earthly clothes
Your body now immortality beholds
I miss you today as I straightened and cleaned
But I'm still trusting God in what he has deemed
Not a breath goes by your not missed
Who knows if the Lord might send you a kiss!!
I love you "Balley"
Cleaned out a few things today, just trying to reorganize some closets, nothing too major. It was the drawer that his little underwear was stuffed in that really did it. I grabbed them up and had to go be alone.... the bathroom is a hiding place sometimes. I just sat there and held them close to me and cried. We had to get him alot of undies when he was in the hospital the first time and a different size than Josiah, he had lost weight. Crying is one way to release the pain, and yet this morning my heart was beating so fast I was was sighing so heavily, I just had to put something on paper of the thoughts I was having, so thats why I wrote this, it just seems to allow the grieving to flow. After that little time I feel better and can continue on. The waves still come and engulf me and then they settle till the next one. I am thinking about the truths that God has shown me in the days past and I trust him, but I do not think God expects no tears, no more pain. I will miss him always, I think I will always have tears but the pain might subside in time. Today was just a day that I felt it. Thanks for listening.....
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
All the above was not even the start of the day, this morning I was on the phone with a dear mother\wife that our family has known for 6 years or so, mostly just listening to a marrriage that is in trouble after I am guessing of 28-30 years and with only a few less chldren than us. I am so burdened and weighted down. All this has made me dissfunctional today. Satan is roaring to kill, steal, and destroy not the world, but the church and the picture of his church, marriages!! Oh, how we need to commit fresh and new to our spouses and children to death do us part and pray God's mercy upon our families. O Lord protect our families from this destructive enemy!!
I feel so scattered in my mind, I still have to get my grocery list for tomorrow, shopping day, again. At least I do not have to buy meat!!!
More goats born today, two nubian does!Thats 8 babies so far! Also we have 12 puppies Lab mix that were born Wed. I am not to glad about that. It was an accident as we were going to get her fixed. At least the dad is ours and that will be a positive as we sell them and can say the mix is child friendly. So I will go ahead an advertise....Puppies For Sale, in about 8 weeks. They do look like Labsat least! We have had a whole lot of litters from aLab that we had for about 10 years and we were able to always get them sold, so hopefully this round will go fast too. This is another Lab that we have, our family Lab went off to die somewhere we guess. This Lab is Bethany's dog, she is beautiful, creme color, but had all these black puppies:( I guess we are a fertile farm aren't we? Now we just need humans to get pregnant, like me:) We are praying!!!!!
Have a restful evening, I know I need it!
P.S. Bethany jus came in and more goats in labor...... a long night for her! Pray for Mercy if the Lord brings her to your heart for quick healing! Pictures above were a few days ago before she hurt her little arm.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I love you, Joel, your toes your feet
I love to whisper your name so sweet
I love your snuggles in the morniings as you wake
I l0ve your toast and eggs to make
I love to help you in jeans get dressed
I love to wipe your face a mess
I love to brush your hair to side
I love to watch your hands in pockets hide
I love to hold and read a book or two
I love to kneel and pray with you
I love to see "Siah" by your side
I love treasures received you two could find
I love your arms around my neck so tight
I love your kisses as I said "good-night"
I love the adventures and fun you thought
I love the flowers to me you brought
I love to see you play with toys
I love to hear your laughs with joy
I love to hold your hand on walks
I love to hear your silly talks
I love to see you do "monkey belly"
I love to fix you peanut jelly
I love to tell you "I Love You"
I love you to tell me too
I love you in this life awhile
I love you in death, as I await your smile
I love the blessing you are to me
I love the coming of Christ, for your smile to see!!!
I love you, Joel
Monday, February 18, 2008
Jeremiah's hamburgers were soooo good! He has had a fun day!!
Thanks for having fun with us!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
I am emailing on behalf of Rita and Jeremy and it is GOOD
NEWS! The Dr. found many cysts on Remy's optical nerve, they drained those
and all were benign. They also performed a biopsy on the fatty tissue
behind her eye, it too was cancer-free. They took tissue from another area
but will not have results for a couple of days. The Dr. still doesn't
really know what this condition is and is still quite baffled, but for now the
news is good.
Rita, the mom called me and said they would go back in a month or so for another CT scan to keep an eye on the situation. Thank you for praying for this sweet family. May the Lord heal Remy up from all the procedures today.
Have a happy Friday night with your family!! Dear husband has one big garden dosen't he?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Terry has always been thoughtful with special words and I am grateful for his strength of faith, because I have had to hold on to his believing when I did not think I could go on. I share the note not to draw attention to myself, but to just honor Terry for the wonderful husband and father he is . I am blessed!!! Valentine's Day...... we try to think of the "LOVE" that God has for each of us, that He loved us before we could love him and to seek to love each other with a forgiving and unconditional love. With 14 people sometimes we fail and do not always love the right way. But, we continue on seeking to love the way Christ loved us. I am so grateful for the love of Christ in my own life as he sought me when I was stranger to him, and he called me unto himself and saved me from sin, hell and death. His personhood is so amazing, his character so loving, his attributes so holy. Thank you Lord for your LOVE.......
I did something very scary this morning....... cleaned out the boys bedroom.....like under the beds, taking off the covers and mattresses and cleaning out the closets. With 8 boys in one room, something was not smelling right. I did not discover anthing that was alive or dead for that matter. They are in the master bedroom and it works fine for the three bunk beds and a twin bed plus Josiah's baby bed mattress on the floor. Got it all clean, opened the windows and fresh is flowing in!!! Andrew did help some, so thanks Andrew!
Eliah has rented a tractor today for some projects around the farm and is having some sand delivered for these projects. He is going to use some of it around the new goat shed to level it out and then he is going to work on the garden. Work, work, work...... seems when you live out, there is always something to fix, tear up, or build.
Pray for Remy, the surgery is Friday, at 12:30. Keep you posted.
Have a Happy Valentine's Day..... Anna is making a special cheesecake for tonight!!!!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Funny conversation...... I am in the bathroom brushing my teeth and stuff, Hosanna enters and it goes like this......
Hosanna- "what is that?"
Me- "eye creme"
Hosanna-" what is it for?"
Me- "saggy eyes"
Hosanna- "sad eyes????"
Me- "no, saggy eyes"
Josiah enters and with very puzzled looks they continue to look at my procedures, after their observations with a look of "you adults do strange things," they departed! Sad eyes or saggy eyes, it must be all the tears I have shed...... or age? oh well!!!
Brrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! It is cold today. The guys are here working on some projects and Wednesday they will be starting footings and then do the framing for a house back about 5 miles from us. The Lord is faithful to open work opportunities! Yea, for the Lord!!!! The pictures above are some of the projects they have and are working on, the metal shop and then the house they are building out of Build Block(insulated concrete forms) like big legos and you fill them with concrete. Good work guys!!!!!
Looks like Remy's surgery is scheduled for Friday, 15th at 12:30 pm. Keep them in your prayers!!! Will post as soon as we hear results.
Stay warm...... our wood stove is going!!!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
This place is hopping with activity today, Terry and some of his helpers are planting some early things, like lettuce, spinach and radishes. He has learned alot over the last 13 years of gardening, improving the soil has been the greatest challenge, since we are surrounded with the red clay. Even in gardening faith has to be cast forth, as we plant and it is the Lord to give the increase. Gardening gives us alot of truth in itself. We look to what is not seen immediently, to what the Lord will bring forth. I especially like the picture that a garden demonstrates in the "life" aspect, soon the seed will resurrect and bring forth fruit. My heart is encouraged as I look all around and see "life" bursting forth, it helps me to know how Joel is doing....he is alive and well with the Lord! Josiah was the first one to see the little heads of flowers coming up from our flower beds of all the bulbs we planted in the late fall. He was very excited! As for the other work going on, Micah has his work cut out for him as he is trying to clean out goat stalls full of, you know what! Caleb and Daniel are finishing up the new shed, Elijah and Andrew are working on pens and gates and getting some more hay out. Bethany is supervising all these jobs as they entail the goats, which she is the manager of. Anna is making our breakfast for Sunday morning, yummmmy! Saturdays are peaceful and fun for our family!
The Lord's ways are much higher than ours aren't they?
*to be exalted we must be brought low
*to die is to live
* suffering, then we will reign with him
*travel the wilderness to enter the promise land
*more blessed to give than to receive
* enduring temptations and we will recieve a crown of life
*humbling circumstances makes us meet to be partakers of the inheritance
*by being brought low we can be made vessels of honor
*through fires we are made pure
Tonight.......Hamburgers made with our home grown meat, and Bethany's homemade buns!!!! yipeeeee!!!! Come on over.... or we'll eat one for ya!! Just follow your nose.......
Have a great Saturday yourself!!
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Today..... another grocery day, I did better today. I only cried a "little bit." I think I was sidetracked in thoughts today, as I had alot to pray about. How many times do you get in your vehicle and it is on empty? With me, seems like always, but this morning I did not even look. I drive to Edmond to go shopping, so the trip there is about 35-40 minutes. I was driving along and the van starts sputtering. We have had some problems with it, so I first thought "oh, no the end has come." I did think to look at the gas gauge and sure enough it was PAST empty! It sputtered on and I quickly pulled into Home Depot parking lot. I was sooo blessed because I was rescued by 3 of the most handsome men........ my dear husband and my oldest sons, Caleb and Daniel. Terry brought some gas and got me going again!!!!! Thank the Lord for cell phones. I think all went well on the home front while I was gone by the pics above.
Keep Remy in your prayers, as the surgery was rescheduled for next week, the waiting can be tough!
Thanks to all you folks for the reviews for the DVD. Now....... for ALL the family and extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, ect..... come on, do not be shy, it is very easy to do. You do not have to say alot and you can look at the other ones if you can't get the words straight! I am picking on you I know but, YOU CAN DO IT!!!! :) The link is on the side now. Thanks soooo much!!!!!
Well..... the guys are in Wynoka tonight and tomorrow helping a friend with a remodel job. I don't know what we are going to do...... clean the kitchen first, and later I might work on Creative Memories after sweet little Mercy lays down. Have a good evening!
Monday, February 4, 2008
My tiny little treasure
Womb to eternity, your Fathers pleasure
Your form I did not hold
But your Creator he did mold
Run and play with Joel so sweet
Won't be long on heavens shore we'll meet
Tears are shed along my way
Awaiting to embrace you two, OH! Eternal day!!
from your mommy
I read a scripture this morning and it has caused me to "think." Psalm 124:1-2 If it had not been the Lord who was on our side, now may Israel say; if it had not been the Lord who was on our side, when men rose up against us.....
-I could just have been another statistic (I'm adopted)
-I could be in such sinfulness in the world
-I would spend eternity seperated from the Lord
-I would not be married to the most wonderful husband
-I would not be blessed with treasures that last for eternity
-I would not be blessed with family and friends like you
- I would not have the daily opportunities to be with my children
- I would not have hope.......if the Lord was not on my side!!!!!
The list can just go on and on, make or think of your own list..... What a merciful, longsuffering God we have!!!
When Terry looks at a cup he says" its half full," when I look at a cup I say, "its half empty." I am seeking not to be such a pessimistic person and I am so thankful Terry can by faith see what is possible....... In thinking about the business that our family started and the providences that the Lord brought......it is quite amazing! When Terry first mentioned this vision I could only picture us living off "cattail roots" and saying "if we perish we perish." (at least we might all go together) So to set the record strait and to humbly acknowledge to the Lord first and then to my family, the Lord is doing it and I praise him for bringing the jobs and work!!!!! This has been such a blessing, I am so glad Terry has the opportunity to be with his older sons and there is freedom in schedule to be with his family as needs arise. I think once again of the scripture this morning, if it had not been the Lord who was on our side..... Terry would still be sitting in an office and missing out on mentoring his own sons when he walks by the way!!!! So I shout it unto the Lord, Thank you Lord for your goodness and providences to our family!!!!!
Wow.....I did not know this would end up so long.......thanks for continuing on with us! Have a great week!
Saturday, February 2, 2008
The game of the night goes to Andrew!!!! He was playing Elijah, who was at game point and Andrew was 11....Andrew came back and beat him!!!!!! Way to play ANDREW!!! The score was 24\25 or 25\26, it was so loud and confusing we lost track !!!!!!
This was a Fun Friday Family Night!!! Thank the Lord for good fellowship one with another!