Monday, February 4, 2008

Tiny Treasure....

February........hard to believe its here already......makes me think if it would have been the Lord's will, I would be about 20 days till delivery of a new little treasure. Anticipating a new little one is a joy inspeakable. Just to think of what has been created and fashioned is a miracle. I do not claim to be a poet, but as I was waiting in the van for Bethany this morning as she had jury duty, I was thinking about our little baby. I think since I was in such heavy grieving with Joel, I did not allow myself to grieve for this little one, so this morning I wrote a poem in memory of this little treasure to acknowledge that this little one was very special and I am missing the upcoming birth if it had been the Lord's will.........

Tiny Treasure

My tiny little treasure
Womb to eternity, your Fathers pleasure

Your form I did not hold
But your Creator he did mold

Run and play with Joel so sweet
Won't be long on heavens shore we'll meet

Tears are shed along my way
Awaiting to embrace you two, OH! Eternal day!!

from your mommy

I think of Joel so much, from the tip of his head down to the bottom of his little toes......I have been thinking about his name and what it means. For our family we desire to give names that Lord willing our children will grow into, looking at the character and ways the Lord might use these to influence the lives of our own children. Telling them the story that involves their name. Giving them mentors to look up to and be challenged by their examlpes to be brave, courageous, to endure in difficult situations, that their faith would be encouraged as they look at these that sought to live unto the Lord. Just to mention a few, like Caleb, meaning "bold one," praying that the Lord would make Caleb bold, that he would stand alone if necessary, our little Mercy, means "compassionate spirit," may the Lord bless her with mercy to give to others, and to see her need for mercy in her own life and see that God's mercy is unto those that call upon him in as I have thought about Joel, his name means "Jehavoh is God." Now when we named him at that time I was blessing him with the desire to be like that prophet of old, to have courage, to proclaim the truth and I think Joel has fulfilled that in some sense, he has been a testimony to the Lord that He is the giver of life and the Lord holds the keys to death. But as I think now on the other side of this journey and what Joel's name means and the implications for my heart today.....there is a peaceful thought that Joel has proved what his name means in the trial and circumstances of his journey....Jehovah is God!!!!! He is God in the ordering of the "lot" that has come our way, He is God in allowing me to know not just with reading about how he says it in the Bible, but by experience, I, in one sense knew he was God and in control, but now it has become more real. Maybe like if someone were to tell you about how mighty the Rocky Mountains were and they say and describe and you hear it but you do not know because you have not been there by experience. Anyway in my own heart I have a new sense of knowing a little more about who God is......He is the one in charge of me, us and you, every jot and tittle of our lives!! That is comforting to me!

I read a scripture this morning and it has caused me to "think." Psalm 124:1-2 If it had not been the Lord who was on our side, now may Israel say; if it had not been the Lord who was on our side, when men rose up against us.....
-I could just have been another statistic (I'm adopted)
-I could be in such sinfulness in the world
-I would spend eternity seperated from the Lord
-I would not be married to the most wonderful husband
-I would not be blessed with treasures that last for eternity
-I would not be blessed with family and friends like you
- I would not have the daily opportunities to be with my children
- I would not have hope.......if the Lord was not on my side!!!!!
The list can just go on and on, make or think of your own list..... What a merciful, longsuffering God we have!!!

When Terry looks at a cup he says" its half full," when I look at a cup I say, "its half empty." I am seeking not to be such a pessimistic person and I am so thankful Terry can by faith see what is possible....... In thinking about the business that our family started and the providences that the Lord is quite amazing! When Terry first mentioned this vision I could only picture us living off "cattail roots" and saying "if we perish we perish." (at least we might all go together) So to set the record strait and to humbly acknowledge to the Lord first and then to my family, the Lord is doing it and I praise him for bringing the jobs and work!!!!! This has been such a blessing, I am so glad Terry has the opportunity to be with his older sons and there is freedom in schedule to be with his family as needs arise. I think once again of the scripture this morning, if it had not been the Lord who was on our side..... Terry would still be sitting in an office and missing out on mentoring his own sons when he walks by the way!!!! So I shout it unto the Lord, Thank you Lord for your goodness and providences to our family!!!!!

Wow.....I did not know this would end up so long.......thanks for continuing on with us! Have a great week!

P.S. A little bit of humor in the verse I mentioned....If it had not been the Lord who was on my side......I would not have beat Terry in ping-pong TWICE last night!!!!:) Elijah was the tournament champion last night!!


Emma R. said...

I am sorry that you lost 2 little ones in such a close time, I have been praying so hard that you would be able to find some sort of peace with that. You are so blessed by the Lord to have such a loving family, and he has given to you so much strength. Strength you might not feel or see, but those around you see it pouring from your heart, as everyday you go on with your life, and be a wonderful mother and wife and rejoice in what God has given you.

As for Joel and your little baby who are playing in Heaven all I can do is point out this bible passage for you.

Mark 10:14, 16 “Jesus said to them, ‘Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these . . .' And He took the children in His arms, put His hands on them and blessed them.”

Joel and little baby are in the kingdom of God, in the arms of Jesus, smiling down at you and they are so blessed.


L said...

We've lost 3 to miscarriage, so I do understand the heartache of losing a tiny treasure. May God continue to give you strength and show you joy and healing as you continue walking the path He has set before you.

In Him,
Recording the Faithfulness and Provision of God for Future Generations

Anonymous said...

While I was reading this post, tears came to my eyes. I admire your faith and trust in the Lord!
May He bless you very much. I was thinking the other day it would be nice to meet you!