Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Joel's Stuff.....


Joel's Stuff

Finding things you've left behind
Brings tears to eyes and thoughts to mind

Moving the couch and finding your snakes
I try to be brave, yet my heart still breaks

Cleaned out closets; blankets, tractors I see
All these treasures were once a need

Pulled open a drawer, found "undies" size three
Oh, how small you seemed to be

You don't need these earthly clothes
Your body now immortality beholds

I miss you today as I straightened and cleaned
But I'm still trusting God in what he has deemed

Not a breath goes by your not missed
Who knows if the Lord might send you a kiss!!

I love you "Balley"

Cleaned out a few things today, just trying to reorganize some closets, nothing too major. It was the drawer that his little underwear was stuffed in that really did it. I grabbed them up and had to go be alone.... the bathroom is a hiding place sometimes. I just sat there and held them close to me and cried. We had to get him alot of undies when he was in the hospital the first time and a different size than Josiah, he had lost weight. Crying is one way to release the pain, and yet this morning my heart was beating so fast I was was sighing so heavily, I just had to put something on paper of the thoughts I was having, so thats why I wrote this, it just seems to allow the grieving to flow. After that little time I feel better and can continue on. The waves still come and engulf me and then they settle till the next one. I am thinking about the truths that God has shown me in the days past and I trust him, but I do not think God expects no tears, no more pain. I will miss him always, I think I will always have tears but the pain might subside in time. Today was just a day that I felt it. Thanks for listening.....

Cindy

3 comments:

Emma R. said...

"Say not in grief that he is no more
but say in thankfulness that he was
A death is not the extinguishing of a light,
but the putting out of the lamp
because the dawn has come."

Those are just words, I wish I could do more to help comfort you, even though we aren't "good" friends your family is very special to me in my heart and I pray for you daily knowing the pain you feel must be so unbearable. Stay strong and trust in the Lord.

Lori

Danielle said...

Mrs. Morris,

Thank you for really opening up and sharing your heart with us. This may sound weird but it helps me a lot to know that it is okay to still cry and not just cry but to actually ache over still missing someone.

When I get the way that you mentioned, I also write. It seems like the only thing to help subside the pain right then.

Love you!

Gem said...

This post went to my heart.
It's true, I also write when I'm feeling sad. It relieves me.
I'm praying for you!

Anna