Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Getting to Know Him...


We made another pick-up at the bus station on Sunday evening.....but it was for a human this time ....Danielle, Bethanys friend that visited us awhile back. We are in for a fun week!!! The little people just love her and she is a very good helper/ worker!!

There was a season I was praying this prayer many years ago, Phil.3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made comformable unto his death, not imagining the depth it might take me to in years to come. It was not just because I prayed that I recieved it to that depth, but I believe it was answered as a means connected to his will and providences. Alas, this morning I was "thinking." In my thoughts about that prayer, I was thinking in terms of the journey we have been on....I could not have known him like I know him now except through this journey. I do not know him in fullness, but in a new part of a way. I would not know the "power" of the resurrection except of the desperate hope I need of being able to see Joel again. I would not know (a small portion) His sufferings except I enter in to suffering in being seperated from Joel. I would not be conformed in such a direct way with his death (only in a small way) except through this trial conforming and purifying me. I read two scriptures this morning in 2 Tim. 2:5-6 ( I am going to write it in another trans, as the picture was encouraging) And if a person contends in the athletic games, he is not crowned as the victor unless he engages in the athletic contest according to the prescribed rules. It is necessity in the nature of the case that the tiller of the soul who labors with wearisome effort be the first to be partaking of the fruits. I was thinking how all these verses intertwine. How will we know him if we do not engage in what he has endured? When I prayed that prayer, I know I was sincere in wanting the end result but without adversity. I wanted to know Christ and love him more, but somehow I just wanted it to "happen" instead of aquiring it through a fire. So it is with an athlete, you are not crowned a victor unless you engage in the "contest." Can we learn suffering without suffering? Can we "know the power" of the resurrection without really needing it for your situation to be able to see your loved one again? Again I am thinking in terms of my situation and for me, as I try to see and learn all that the Lord has in mind for me to learn it seems it is given unto me to suffer so that I can know him in a broader way. I battle this theory or truth, because my mommy heart had rather have Joel, but in eternity I can be twice blessed if I have the right perspective now, for I will get to be with Joel and I can reign with Him because I have suffered with him. So with the second portion of that verse, I am praying and asking the Lord, not because I deserve it or because I was in the contest and won, but as a wearisome laborer desiring to be a partaker of the fruit that could come from sufferinig. May the Lord conform us all, whether by trial or grace.....

Well....another birthday tomorrow...Joshua is going to be 10!!!! He is having an "Indian Party." We have had about every form of Cowboy party there is, so I was surprised in my own thinking that an Indian party was not yet had. Joshua was our third homebirth here in the country, "country bred, country born." We are praying for Joshua that soon in his heart that the Lord would make his heart willing in the day of his power unto salvation. The seven oldest have repented unto salvation and were at a younger age and we are so grateful for the Lord's mercy to them. We are praying for the younger ones that soon in their hearts they would be given the gift of faith and repentance. So tomorrow we will be on the "war path of another party." And guess what...we are NOT having donuts, Joshua wanted a special breakfast that Anna is making, Cream Cheese Danish!!!!
Shopping week this week, so I have to get my menu together and tomorrow...Wednesday, my house will get and be clean according to our new plan....YEAH!!!!!! Saturday will be Bethany and Andrew's first goat show of the year, so we are planning for that. It will be close to home this time, about 30 minutes away. O, Sunday night or rather Mon. morn at 2:30 a.m. we had to go down in the storm cellar as tornadoe possibilities were very close to our house, the spotters said they stayed in the air, but that was fine with us!!!!!!

Finish the week well and more importantly the race well..... I love you Joel and miss you!!!!!!

Cindy

( the tree is Joel's Tree, a Redbud planted in our front yard area, that Terry's former employees gave us, it is "alive and blooming," a blessed truth through nature that Joel is living.... just in another kingdom!!! The house pictures are of a Build Block house they are building now at a job site.



2 comments:

A.E. Edwards said...

Cindy,
You do not know how much your thoughts speak to my own personal life. Thank you for sharing.

Debbie said...

Just discovered your thought and wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear of the loss of your son. I lost my son 9 yrs. ago this past Feb. 2. He had blood vessel, lymphatic, & lung problems. We first discovered something was wrong when he was 3 yr. old. We thought he was stable, but at 7 yrs. old he ended up in the hospital again. At that time, we knew we would be sending him home to the Lord. The Lord gave us 2 more years with him and some special memories. He had a wonderful attitude while he was sick. It is comforting to know I will see him in heaven. I, also, know that he is much better off with the Lord than suffer here on earth. I have been so thankful that I have the Lord to turn to and cling to. It looks like you have a wonderful family. Keep pressing on.