Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Questions about tomorrow ???







Getting ready for "Paps"(my dad) to arrive after lunch. Rushing around doing some cleaning and all the chores. The guys had a very long day of work yesterday, they did not get home until 11:45 p.m. Concrete job that was scheduled to be a two day job and was completed in one day and we had lots of rain and hail around 11:15 p.m., so it seemed like a short night. Josiah had a stomach bug yesterday morning or something, but he seems to be feeling better today.

I mentioned in an earlier post of waiting on the Lord to answer some specific prayers, some of them will not likely be answered soon, nevertheless I find myself being more concerned than I should be of how it might all work out. Questions come to mind of how, when, who, and in my mind it can be like a mountain to climb and questions along the way. So this morning I read a few scriptures that will help me to meditate on to know that it will all work out. I am finding the resurrection story to be more meaningful in my heart especially as it is the powerful truth that tells me that I will see Joel again, so I read it more often and as I read this morning I found another application concerning questions that I have for the future of our children. Mark 16:3-4 And they said among themselves, Who shall roll us away the stone from the door of the sepulchre? And when they looked they saw that the stone was rolled away: for it was very great. So here were some that had questions to an upcoming situation, I do not think questions are wrong, unless they cause us to worry, but if we can turn them into a prayer and look to the one that can answer them, by the time they got there there concern was already taken care of, the stone was already removed. That encouraged me with the thought that in the Lord's time he will order the steps and work it all out. And it says it was very great, so even if "my" situation seems extra difficult, it will not be a problem for the Lord!! Also in verse 7, he goeth before you, I love to hang on to little phrases like this, every word is alive and powerful, that tells me that Jesus is always before me what ever I may face. If I face sorrow, he has been there before me, if I face physical pain, he has endured that pain before me, if I have to be seperated from ones I love, he was seperated from his Father first, if I have to go through temptations, he has gone before me and was tempted in the wilderness, whatever comes my way, he has gone before me and experienced it before I. I was comforted with that thought. It seems the Lord continues to help me along in my grieving, there were two little phrases that leaped out to me as I read in verse 6 he is not here, Joel is not in the grave, he is with the Lord and in verse 7, there shall ye see him, it is there in that city of God I shall see him again. These small truths keep me going and give me hope, because somedays I just seem to run out of steam and throughout the day the tears just seem to fall as I might see Mercy doing something and it reminds me of Joel or conversations I have with Josiah or Hosanna and we talk about Joel and remember when.... Mercy's voice sounds like Joel's when she says "Siah," and when she does this certain gut laugh, she sounds like Joel laughing. It is a happy moment and sad at the same time. The Lord is faithful as we walk on the grieving path. I was thinking the other day, about the "group" I am a member of, until I became a member I did not realize on a daily basis of how many there are in the same group, mommy's that are seperated from their children through a death. I have read about more children that have died with NB alone (not counting all the other horrible diseases and illness) in a years time than in my whole life. Of course I was not even aware of NB until Joel, but really have not had but maybe one or two other families that suffered a loss of a child that we even knew. Being a member of this "group" has made me more aware to pray for others and to be able to share the comfort I have been shown with others that the Lord has comforted us with. It was a group that was planned and prepared that I, we, be a member of so it is in that perspective I can know that the Lord is working in ways that are too wonderful for me to know all of them. I still miss him, I still cry, I still yearn to hold him and take care of him....he can not come to me, but I will go to him!!!

Guess I had better go and do "my" stuff, as the children are working and here I sit. Gotta figure out something yummy to fix for supper. Oh, I was going to see how many people are out there reading this blog, would you be willing to drop us a comment, it can be anomymous if you want or leave your name, either way, and just say "hi from Texas," or where ever you are, I do not need names anyway. Just curious. Thought it would be fun too!

Anna had the idea from another blog she reads. Hope you will participate!!

Have a good start of the week!!!! * Since I posted earlier, we are getting such sweet comments, I know I am encouraged and I know you will be too!!! Thank you for participating!!

Cindy

( thought you might like to see some surroundings... the picture of the long road is outside our front gate and Anna was standing up around the cemetary when she took it, and I am so thankful it is so close to our house. and then you have our front entry cedar archway driveway to our house and then the picture of our house, the gravel road you see right in front of the house is a road up to the barn. And Hosanna has her own beautiful flower bed!!!

54 comments:

Anonymous said...

Cindy,

Hi from Pennsylvania! You left a comment on someone else's Caringbridge website (can't remember which one!), and your comment had a picture of your "gang" next to it. I clicked over to see exactly how many kids there were in the picture......boy, was I surprised! Your family is beautiful...and I am so sorry to learn of Joel's passing. What a gorgeous little boy. My mom died from breast cancer when I was 10 years old, so I understand the pain of losing someone you love. But I honestly cannot fathom the pain you must feel having lost a child...I can't even begin to wrap my brain around that. I have to believe that there IS a heaven and that I have not seen my mom, and you have not seen your son, for the very last time. We'll see them again...all in God's plan. I have derived much comfort in knowing that I am certain that my mom will be here to take my hand when it's my time to leave this earth. (I just hope it's not any time soon!)

I have three children of my own (10 year old girl, 6 year old girl, 3 1/2 year old boy) and we live in suburban Philadelphia (about an hour away) in Bucks County, Pennsylvania. I am a stay-at-home mom and all of our children attend the local Catholic School. My husband works in Pharmaceuticals.......so reading about your life in the country and the fact that most (or all?) of your sons work together is very interesting to me!

Praying that your heart finds peace...

Julie

Anonymous said...

Hello from Texas!!

Anonymous said...

I read this blog everyday and even check it several times a day for updates then I take the link to Bethany's blog.. Every single day.. the blog is listed under my bookmarks so it is just a click away. Knowing Cindy and Terry for 25 years or so(oops I just told my age) it is just amazing at how the Lord has done so much work in there lives. Terry was our Youth Pastor and then there was Cindy... I remember when she first came to church.. My mother actually cried.. i have seen Cindy grow.

Anonymous said...

I check the blog every day. Love you guys, and think about Joel often.
Mandy (Tanton) Grimm

Anonymous said...

Hey,I thought I'd tell you I enjoy reading your blog!

The "Fuddy Duddy's"

(Maggie)

Danielle said...

Thank you Mrs. Morris for posting again. The verses you shared really encouraged me. The hope of seeing our loved ones again....

Love, Dannie ;)

Anonymous said...

Hello from Oklahoma City, I too read you everyday. You have been such an inspiration to me. Thanks.

Sarah said...

I stumbled across your blog a couple weeks ago and have since put you in my blog reader. Your faith is an inspiration.

Sarah (mypeaceandjoy)
New England

Emma R. said...

Cindy you know I am reading. I check daily and love to see your updates. Was wondering if you got some of those storms last night. I was worried a bit about all of you. I think we are in for another wild weather ride tomorrow. I just got a NOAA weather alert radio, its been such a blessing.

I am glad to see others posting too, sometimes I feel like I am the only one that leaves comments! I am just a chatterbox what can I say

Lori

Grana said...

I love reading your blog, it is so encouraging! I check it almost every day. Have a blessed day!

Lockwoods said...

Hola from Mexico! :) We LOVE reading updates on the Morris Family~ We feel like we know you even though we've never met.
I am always blessed and encouraged through the thoughts you (Cindy) share. As the Lord speaks to your heart through His precious Word, and you share that, it so often is just what I need too...helps set my mind right and I thank the Lord daily for the blessing you are and the encouragement He gives me through you.
I pray for you all daily.
love,
Jaynee

Anonymous said...

I read your blog daily. I enjoy getting to watch your family grow. Terry was my youth minister many years ago. I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose a child but my thoughts and prayers go out to your whole family.
Karen (Medlock) Puckett

L said...

Hello to y'all from Texas! We have your blog on our RSS Feed and check for new posts every day or so.

We, too, have new baby goats. Five to be exact. 1 doe and 4 bucks! Our first-time mommy had triplet bucks. We haven't ordered chickens yet, but one hen hatched out 15 new chicks yesterday.

Another same path our families are on is the family construction crew. My husband was laid off last month so he joined the boys in a handyman/mowing/construction/cleanup business they had been working on. It's slow starting, but Lord willing, it will pick up with spring here.

May God bless your family and guide you in His ways.

In Him,
Laralee
http://www.PlymouthRockRanch.com
Recording the Faithfulness and Provision of God for Future Generations

Zimms Zoo said...

I check your blog on a regular basis. Always lots to think about and challenge me with.

Anonymous said...

I read your blog everyday. I enjoy keeping up with your family. Terry was my youth minister in Arkansas.
Michelle (McCoy) Smith

Jennifer said...

Hi from Colorado - I check your blog regularly and throughly enjoy it!

Anonymous said...

Hello from Ohio!

I check your blog daily. It is like a daily devotional reading to me. You are an inspiration to me as I strive to become stronger in the Lord.

Sew Chic said...

I read it via bloglines.
Ruth

Anonymous said...

Hello from Pittsburgh, PA. I found your site from another NB warriors site. I also have lost a little nephew to NB on 8-18-07 (carterfinger.com). He was sure a fighter, he fought it for almost 5 years. I'm sure him and Joel are playing together in heaven at this moment. I just love to read your blog and Bethany's also.I thought I came from a big family (10 children) but I see yours is so much bigger. Michele H.

Anonymous said...

Hey there from North Carolina. I to know ya'll from AR! I also check everyday for updates I love seeing pictures of the farm.

Anonymous said...

Cindy,
I enjoying reading your blog. I have enjoyed watching the children grow up, and still keeping track of what is happening with you. It has also allowed me to know how best to pray for you.
Michele
Norman

Anonymous said...

Hi From Kentucky! I found your blog accidentally last month (you left a comment on Guinever's blog)and it was the biggest blessing. I check the site daily.

Renee

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to let you know our family reads your blog.
The Linzey family told us about it, when We were praying for Joel.
Please pray for some friends of ours whose 5 year old daughter Esther has cancer. Their link on caring-bridge is: http://www.caringbridge.org/cb/viewHome.do
Thank-you,
Julia Engle (15)

Anonymous said...

Hello from Yukon Oklahoma,

You all are examples of faith and faithfulness for the way you live your lives for God. It is a blessing to me to see how God's promises are coming true as He truly never will leave or forsake us.

Photo Jendrew said...

Another hello from Texas!!

Jen

Anonymous said...

Hi from Oklahoma City...I found your blog after reading a post you left on the gomitchgo site. I look forward to your posts and check for them regularly. Your faith and devotion are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for so honestly sharing your grief and your joys with us. God is being glorified through you! I look forward to meeting you (and Joel) in heaven!

Laura said...

Hey there, from Prince Edward Island, Canada. I love coming to your blog and reading what the Lord has spoken to you...it does my heart good too.

Eliya said...

Mrs. Morris, Thank you so much for your blog! I know Bethany through some of the online goat forums and have been greatly encouraged by your blog. It is such a blessing to see another family that is truly following the Lord. That is such a rare thing in these days! I really enjoy the photos Anna takes - she is a wonderful photographer! Keep up the good work and may God richly bless you and your family. Eliya from Wisconsin.

Anonymous said...

Hello from New York! I read your blog everyday. I have a son the same age as your precious Joel. My son tells the Lord everyday when we say our prayers to "take good care of baby Joel".

Paulette said...

Hello from Texas,
I have read your blog for many months and though I never leave comments, because it is hard for me to have a one way conversation, lol, I have prayed for you even back when Joel was diagnosed and all through his passing. I have lost my dearest life long friend to cancer 2 years ago and I am not over that yet. It is hard and sad and lonley. What I do rejoice in is the eternal aspect of being able to see her again one day.
When Joel first died, I thought how awful for Josiah to have to be without his buddy, then I thought how wonderful that God allowed his mommy and daddy and siblings Josiah as a wonderful part of Joel.
I know even through your blog that Joels life still goes on, he is forever a part of your family and daily life, but moreso he is a reminder of what we are all about and the assurance of that life with Christ one day which is our ultimate testimony to the lost and dying world we live in. That is Joels testimony for us, to keep doing the Lords will.
Your family is precious and I look forward to reading how he richly blesses your faith and family in the years to come.
Blessings to you all.

squirrelgirl said...

Hello from Florida! I check in a few times a week to see what's new. I lived with Terry and his family in Texas when I was younger, and still keep in touch with his parents. They gave me this blog address and it's nice to see all the pictures and hear your stories. I have a 1 year-old daughter so I understand about some of your "Mommy feelings". My heart goes out to you in the loss of your precious Joel, but you are working through the grieving process in your own time.

~~Meredith ("Dandy Don", to Terry)

info said...

Hi from Bentonville, AR - I check the blog everyday for updates! Reading this blog and about the Morris family has been a blessing to me.
Ashley

Anonymous said...

Hello from Wisconsin!

Anonymous said...

Hi from Pine Bluff, Ar
Check your blob everyday.

Christina said...

Reading, this week, from San Francisco while on vacation... I'm a regular reader from Edmond. Thank you for sharing your family and faith with so many.

Anonymous said...

Hello Morrises!

I enjoy reading your blog and seeing the Lord work in your family. I also love the glimpses of life in the country...I can't wait to get out and live in the country some day! :D

Kelley Jantz

Anonymous said...

Hello from Kansas! I check in everyday to read your blog. I love to read it. Please do not stop writing. I have five children ages 13, 11, 5, 2 and 2 days. God is good!
Paula

Jen said...

Hello from Maryland! We too are traveling an unknown road (trying to sell our home in this horrid market) and wondering when and how God will work this out. Your post today encouraged me.

I have been reading your blog since right before Joel died. In 1982, a dear little boy (he was 2) who I babysat several times a week died of NB. It was my first real experience with death and it was so hard to see that little guy go to heaven. He was not my own child of course but I remember how I missed him. Even now, I think of him often and wonder what might have been if God had had different plans for his little life.

God bless!

Courtney M said...

Cindy,
I often 'check' on you guys here...blessings,

Anonymous said...

Hello from California. I have been praying for you and your family. I understand the lose of loved ones. I pray for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Cindy, I read your blog every time I turn on this computer. Most of the time, it's every day. This week has been one of "those" weeks so I haven't been able to read it till now. We are a family that was blessed to have Terry as our youth minister here in Pine Bluff. God really used Terry and our pastor at that time too (Sonny Simpson) in not only our lives but our two son's lives as well. One of our sons, Jim, will be moving to Wisconsin this fall to be a church planter there. He is very excited about it. We love you Terry and Cindy. I love all the pictures you put on your blog. Anna is a great photographer!!! The tulips and daffodils that Hosanna planted are beautiful (both are my favorite flowers). Love always, Ann Parker

Lindsay B. said...

I keep up with you! It is fun to read about what is going on in your lives, especially since we don't get to see you very often. Many blessings to you!

The Thomas' said...

Hello from Georgia! We check your blog just about everyday, and are always encouraged, uplifted and challenged in our own walk with the Lord. My daughter loves to hear about the animals and also reads Bethany's blog. We are city folk who long to dwell in the country. After two attempts to sell our house, the Lord has seen fit to keep us in a subdivision which means no farm animals. Thank you for the opportunity to live vicariously through you! May God continue to uphold you with His mighty hand.

Blessings to all,

The Thomas Family

Anonymous said...

Hello from Chicago, Illinois.

Anonymous said...

Hello from Edmond, Ok.

Denise said...

I check on you several times a week. I have a critically ill son and always find encouragement when I read your blog. Cindy, your heart is so tender and I really appreciate you sharing it with us! May the Lord bless you all!

Denise
Oklahoma City, OK

Anonymous said...

hello from okc, i try to come here once a month or so to see how you are but my heartache for you and your family is always so great i can only read one or two entries before it becomes unbearable i my tears wont allow anymore. bless you all

Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon your blog just before Joel passed away and have been praying for you since then. Our family (including 3 boys aged 18, 15, 10 and 1 girl age 6) live in a small town Spruce Grove, near Edmonton, Alberta. Be encouraged that you have people who care and are praying for you that you won't even meet until eternity! Something else for you to look forward to - friends you didn't even know you had!!!!

Anonymous said...

Greetings! We check your blog almost every day and pray for you often.

- From Cushing, OK

P.S. Anna---I love your pictures! They're awesome.

Annie said...

Hi from California. Would love to say more but my baby is fussing for me.

Melinda said...

Mrs. Morris,

Hi from Stratford, OK!
I enjoy reading your blog and keeping up with your family! We sure miss seeing you guys!

Melinda

Anonymous said...

Cindy, I read your blog at least weekly. Your family is fascinating with the many activities in which you're involved. Your children have many varied talents. I pray that God will ease your grief of losing Joel as time goes by.

You may remember that Joe and your mom were neighbors for a time when they were teenagers. Joe's mom lost a son in a car accident when he was 23, and even 40 years later she said it was still very painful.

Love from Pat & Joe Caple, WCBC, Pine Bluff

Ru&Re said...

Howdy! We met some of y'all at the Big Sandy Conference. The Mories told us about Joel, and since then, I've looked at your blog every so often. It's really encouraging to read how God is working in your heart, Mrs. Morris. Thank you for sharing. Maybe we'll see you at Big Sandy again this year? :)
Blessings,
Ruth Cook

Amanda said...

Hey there from Los Angeles! Just found you today from Angies blog about Audrey Caroline, Bring the Rain. I have read every post you have put up... and just have to say that you are very inspiring! Keep smiling :)