Friday, October 31, 2008

Thank You Lord.....

I am so thankful for Terry in that he is the exact measure that I need to bring my scale in to balance when I get "earthy" and have an eye to the "things of this world." Maybe having the company coming triggered my discontented attitude about things of the house. Terry washed me with the truth and as I lay in bed last night and thought, my sight was redirected. So I can now look at all these "things" and say thank you ...... thank you Lord for the children that keep my kitchen floor so dirty, thank you Lord for the children that have battered and bruised the painted walls in our house, I know some of the paint knocked off was done by my Joel :) so I am thankful he was here to do it, thank you Lord for the mountain of laundry the children make and is piled on the couch and can not be hid in a nice big laundry room, thank you Lord for my children that pulled off pieces of wallpaper, thank you Lord for a 15 passenger van that creaks and groans and that I have children to fill it up and we do not have to have a tiny car that only hold a few, thank you Lord for the children that have skidded across the floors and the hardwoods need refinishing ( I remember the older ones pulling Joel and Josiah on blankets through the house) thank you Lord for the children that have chipped and banged and pulled on the kitchen cabinet doors that will not stay shut, thank you Lord for the crowd of children that gathers around our table and there is not any room to maneuver when we eat, thank you Lord for windows that are broke and taped up because brothers and sisters are being brothers and sisters, thank you Lord for the children that have worn out furniture and needs to be retired, thank you Lord that our house is full......that you have filled our chambers with precious and pleasant riches.......and thank you my dear husband......

Terry's folks are due to arrive after lunch. Right now Bethany and Anna have gone over to the work site and are taking pictures of the house the guys are working on, so when they get back I'll put some at the bottom of this post. I think it has been good that I did not see them until today, their last day......the Lord has taken care of them and we are grateful! The girls are back and WOW, that is sooo high!!!!! Our four man crew and Micah and Andrew helped on a few days built this, its three story....remember its Build Block, kinda like putting giant legos together and then today they have a pump truck and will walk along the walk boards and fill them up with concrete. That big hole in the middle of the floor is the basement, Terry said they are going to put some sort of slide to get down to it, sounds interesting and maybe thats what I need to get to shove stuff in, like laundry:) Thank the Lord for work like this!!!

Caleb and Daniel are done with Pendragon music. So funny last night, they had that studio closed up and lights off, I do not think they even went in there. After dinner they came outside, raked some leaves, help clean up and they played football and I think they went to bed a little after 10pm, compared to their staying up until 4am! Their next project is making some sample music for a company that needs music for the phone when a customer holds on the line, does that make sense? And if they like the samples they will then compose some little 30 second tracts for them to use.

Yesterday was grocery day, all went well with that. Thank you Lord that I get to buy a lot of groceries for all the children you have blessed us with......I'll keep you posted if any exciting adventures happen while the grandparents are here.....knowing "Pop" there will surely be some!!!


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My Dearly Beloved Son.....

*** Picture added*** Do you know what kind this is?.....its a Christmas Cactus and I have had it for we think about 10 years and it has never bloomed.....until this season.......I am enjoying the richness of God's goodness to me through His creation.....that there is life....that even in the unseen, things that lay dormant or hidden there are treasures....but they may or may not be given, but when they are, its beautiful.......

I could have told Joel I love you until the sun no longer shone or until the clouds were to melt away and it would not have been enough times for me, I could have given him a lot of things that a mommy would give to her son, I could have given affection and said many endearing words to him and called him "my dearly beloved son," like unto Paul giving affection to dear Timothy (II Tim. 1:2) But as I read this verse, To Timothy, my dearly beloved son: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord (v.2) I could not have given Joel grace, mercy and peace from God. I could have demonstrated and told him about it, and we did, but these three, I could not have given him. So as I thought about what Joel has already received, it brought great comfort in knowing what I could not give, the Lord has already imparted it to him. What is our life if we know not the grace, the power of God, the mercy, undeserved favor and peace, within our hearts, the forgiveness of sin. As parents to our dearly beloved children this should be our greatest prayer, our earnest plea to the Father that each one would be given the gift of faith from the Lord and so this morning I rejoice that Joel has already experienced this grace, mercy and peace from God!! May it be the prayer from our lips and may our cheeks sting with tears and our knees be bent until it be so. Please know that I am so very grateful to you for the prayers you have offered up on my, our behalf, it brings my heart joy to know that you are mindful of my tears and ache, I do "feel" the prayers of the saints!


I spelled this wrong last time, I hope it did not go to anything unfavorable, but to download Joel's Journey you can go to (with Vision Forum)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Blessing From the Lord....

Sometimes I wonder why I still continue to write, is this little bit of words helping anybody?? I pray often that Joel's story will continue to impact and God will do mighty things in and through our "walk through the shadow of death." I read a verse this morning and the Lord showed me that He is building a testimony by allowing us to be a partaker of an affliction and His desire is that the "power of God" be shown. Then this afternoon the Lord confirmed this verse from an e-mail that I received that all is not in vain. Be not therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God. (II Tim. 1:8) Just as Paul was a prisoner and oft in chains and afflictions and more, he sought to testify to others the Gospel, he told others of his deliverances, he encouraged the weak and faint-hearted, he exhorted the faithful, he had a testimony of the power of God and it came by and through his trials and afflictions and imprisonments. This is what I desire to do. The Lord has given us a platform, a prison from which we can tell of the power of God, how yes, this is an unthinkable, devastating happening (from my own perspective) to a parents heart but the power of God is leading us through. He has allowed us to meet many through this blog and be an encouragement just of how our daily lives are carried out and its because of the power of God, nothing of us, its Him only!!! My heart soared as I read the words of this dear lady and how the Lord has allowed our trial, our lives to encourage them. I praise the Lord for His granting something for me to see with my eyes through this e-mail, thank you for taking the time to write:) It was a blessing from the Lord!!!!!

We are in for a yummy treat tonight.....Anna is making our meal!!!!! Sour Creme Swiss Steak, Golden Harvest Potato Bake, Herbed Onion Fociccia (bread) and Turtle Brownies for dessert. We might have to charge folks for this meal!!! It is a blessing to have older girls to help......all you young mommy's, hang in there, remember your going to reap soon!!!!!

Have a blessed evening!!!!


The picture is Timmy and Mercy, Timmy's parents and family join us on Sunday evenings for our study together on the 1689 Confession of Faith. Mr. Morris already told Timmy's daddy that he has to come to him first for any future plans :)

Monday, October 27, 2008


I am having to review truths, my emotions are telling me one thing.....the month of Nov. is at hand, when we started trying to figure out why all the fevers, Joel was beginning to become more weary in strength and he was starting to have pains.....I am reviewing in my mind so that it can impact my heart, "God the good Creator of all things, in His infinite power and wisdom doth uphold, direct, dispose, and govern all creatures and things, from the greatest even to the least, by His most wise and holy providence, to the end for the which they were created, according unto His infallible foreknowledge, and by the free and immutable counsel of His own will; to the praise of the glory of His wisdom, power, justice, infinite goodness, and mercy. Although in relation to the foreknowledge and decree of God, the first cause, all things come to pass immutably and infallibly; so that there is not anything befalls any by chance, or without His providence; yet by the same providence He ordereth them to fall out, according to the nature of second causes, either necessarily, freely, or contingently. (1689 Confession of Faith) It has befallen us according as He ordaineth! Today it "feels" like a day that he was here!!!

Most of the chickens have been picked up, the last of the folks are coming out here shortly and we'll have that wrapped up! It's good to have all the meat in the freezer. I guess Micah is going to get the wood stove going here in a little bit, its suppose to be 29 her tonight. I am not a cold weather person. It does not bother the children, they are out there right now playing like normal, even Mercy! Caleb stayed her today, they are trying to finish up Pendragon music, by Thursday! Terry, Daniel and Elijah are braving the cold. They are working on a house that involves extremely dangerous heights, some places 30 feet, and trying to build walk boards and rails, so if the Lord brings them to your mind, pray for safety! Terry's folks are coming for the weekend, so starting to make preparations for company.

Again, I am trying to "think" on things that are true, but I can not seem to get my hear to follow! My heart wants to sit and sulk and wish....its an exercise to make myself not get sad at God. I know it has to do with this season and November and the following months ahead, our last of everything with Joel is just so big in my mind right now. I know we are working on two years but the memories are so sharp as to this particular time. I know so many still pray for me and I am grateful, keep it up as the Lord brings it to mind.

Happy Monday!!! (that picture was Oct. 24, 2006)


Friday, October 24, 2008

Chicken Update....

*****Answering a question***** This is our 5th time to butcher chickens. We have been processing in Fall/Spring. We usually get 100 day old chicks from Hoover Hatchery (on-line, cornish/cross cockerels) Last fall, we only lost 5 from start to finish but this fall we lost around 20, so we have around 80 to butcher this time. We have around 40 pre-sold and we'll keep the rest. They are raised for 8 weeks. Yes, we do have an electric plucker and I would not do this if we did not have one!! We move them around on range in a cage that has wheels when they are about 4 weeks old. I would suggest reading a book called Pastured Poultry by Joe Salatin (sp) *********

Maybe it was because I did not say "Lord willing" with the chicken butchering....last night we had mechanical difficulties so we could not proceed. We had everything all set up and ready too! Right at this time we have begun, Lord willing we'll get er' going! We have chickens hanging and bleeding out as I type. Our neighbors David and Katelyn are over helping so I hope we can really get a lot done this evening.

The fellowship with the B's at the Affair of the Heart was fun! I actually bought a few things this time. Bethany, Anna and myself each got a sterling silver necklace, Anna got a bracelet, Mercy and Hosie got a bracelet too. All those items were under $10 each. I did get Mercy a Lee Middleton baby doll. She is a small baby, about 12 inches, just right for "little" Mercy!! She is very proud of her!!

Whenever I get in a large crowd, I find myself wondering what people are going through, are they hurting, are they in sorrow as I? If people were to look at me, do they know that I have a little boy that is not with us right now? In this mass of people no one knows about Joel. I saw many babies that looked like him when he was a baby and I saw 3 year olds that were his size and even some little boys that sucked a passy like him. I saw little boys in over-alls, it could have been him there! I saw things with his name on it, I saw toys and things he would have liked. The sorrow follows me wherever I go, it always will, but His grace is great and I am thirsty for it...... I saw Joel all around today.......

Tomorrow we'll finish up the butchering, Lord willing :) and then later in the evening we are going to a Weiner Roast at some folks that live close to us, the Doolittle family.

Better get to work.......


Thursday, October 23, 2008

Stuff We are Doing...

If I backtrack and tell you about yesterday morning, we had a rough start.....we had a thunder storm and it caused the electricity to go out for about 5 hours, (no electricity= no water, no bathrooms) with 14 people and being on a well water that does not make for a happy morning! Elijah did cheer us up by going to get donuts for breakfast! Caleb got up just a few seconds after the electricity came on so his morning was not affected as all the ones that had been up very early. I told Terry by the end of the day I felt like I had lived three days in one day. The guys were around here as it rained on and off until the afternoon. The girls and I did some shopping for some needed winter items; Josh had a hole in his boots so that was a need, Andrew needed a chore coat and we found a few other things that was needed. Josiah and Hosanna went along with us and Mercy, so we went to my favorite store, Kohl's and found some warm winter nighties for Siah and Hosie. We got home and fixed fried fish that my dad brought us. He is a big fisherman and I am spoiled and can only eat his (crappie) fish, he filet's it for us too! Because of the rain we did not get to the chicken butchering, but tonight is the night! The guys are going to get here a little early and after our meal we'll get started! Bethany is fixing dinner tonight! It's a staple meal around here; she cooks a roast until it falls apart and also cooks dry pinto beans. She will then put them together and we'll put it on soft tortilla's with all the toppings, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, sauted onions and peppers, sour creme, and hot sauce. Sometimes we also fix Mexican rice to go along with it and avocodo dip but tonight since we are on a tight schedule we'll just gulp it down and get to work! She's also fixing dessert. She can do anything in the kitchen, which I am thankful for and I know her future family will survive, but she'd rather be doing something outside or with her goats:)

Yes, its the 23rd today and it is not passing without an ache in my heart but I read a verse this morning that allowed me to look forward to the treasure I have in heaven and it is true where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. This world is not my "home!!"

Tomorrow the girls and I are going to the Affair of the Heart with the B girls. It is a huge craft fair and I really never buy anything, it's just fun to go and to be with our friends!

Thanks for keeping on with us.....


Don't forget...if you have not seen Joel's Journey, you can go to (with Vision Forum) do a search for JJ and download for around $4.95, I think

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Looking Forward to Dinner....

Anna is fixing our dinner meal tonight....BBQ Meatballs,(ground goat in them) Sour Cream Mashed Potatoes, and Parker House Dinner rolls and Chocolate Swirl Cheesecake! I was going to post pics but the blogger tool bar will not show up, anybody else having that problem? I am kinda lost as what to be doing right now, so here I am. I am blessed by Anna's efforts, sometimes I just get tired of cooking, and sometimes it tastes sooo good when someone else makes it! Bethany is going to put her creativity to work on Thursday and feed us, so we'll see what she comes up with. We did school today, I had to get a few things for our chicken butchering starting tomorrow evening, Thursday evening and we'll finish up on Saturday. I did not want to do them all on Saturday, its too many and I get tired of standing for so long over the sink cleaning them. Daniel had to go to the dentist and get his "chipped" front tooth fixed, which his beloved twin brother gave him while at work, but he's all looking good now and you can not even tell.

John- Clay Burnett, the young man that produced/videoed Joel's Journey has produced a trailer promoting the San Antonio Film Festival and it is featured on Doug Phillips blog, which was very exciting!! Listen very carefully to the music, Caleb and Daniel composed all the music for it!! You can get a taste of the talent the Lord has gifted them with. They are still working on the Pendragon movie,like staying up until 3 and 4 am and then trying to go to work!

The guys are home, so gotta go, they are here early!!


Monday, October 20, 2008

A Question Answered.....

I forgot.... I wanted to mention that if you have not seen Joel's Journey and would like to, you can go to with Vision Forum, and do a search for Joel's Journey, and do a download for I think $4.95 if you like!***

And it came to pass, that as the people pressed upon him to hear the word of God, he stood by the lake of Gennesaret, and saw two ships standing by the lake: but the fishermen were gone out of them, and were washing their nets. And he entered into one of the ships, which was Simon's and prayed him that he would thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down, and taught the people out of the ship. Now when he had left speaking, he said unto Simon, launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught. Luke 5:1-4

Sometimes God answers our questions and sometimes he does not........but this morning as I read He answered one of my questions, (or several that I rolled in to one)..... through his word. First of all, I do not wish this trial on anyone, yet in my carnal, fleshy state, I have a question for the Lord and I guess I am thinking of all the people we know, "why do other people not have BIG trials, why us, why don't we have our little boy here with us when other families are complete and someone is missing in our family?" First the scripture showed me that we all have some things in common, but the fisherman were were gone out of them, and were washing their nets.( Luke 5:2) As believers we are all washing our nets, living life, doing the daily mundane things each day, no partiality. Another thing we have in common is His presence is with us and he is teaching us, he stood by,(v.1) and taught the people, (v.3) Now some of us he teaches on the shore, as the scripture says he thrust out, he was on the ship but the people were on the shore and others he takes them out to the "deep." Our family are the ones that "get to go" to the deep. I do not think the ones on the "shore" are not taken out to the deep because they can not handle it, nor do I think the ones that are taught in the "deep" are there because of not learning on the shore or because of sin. I think it is because His ways are past finding out and he teaches us in whatever way will bring the most glory to him. So when I start meditating about His glory and move my thoughts away from all the why's, why us, why did we have to go to the deep?" the questions are laid to rest and again I bow at his will and trust his wisdom in how he teaches us, all of us. So if your on the shore, give thanks and if your in the deep, give thanks and know that its for his glory, its about HIM!!!

I guess to give an up ate about about our weekend will be old news but it was very busy! Friday morning I went grocery shopping and got back home right after lunch, Terry and the guys arrived to load and take the first crew to the goat show. Caleb, Daniel Joshua, Jeremiah, Hosie, Siah and Mercy stayed here with me, we ate dinner and then went out on the "town." I made the comment that I do not recall having this particular group to take care of :) Our mission was to try to find Caleb and Daniel a few church shirts and maybe pants, they have to be loooong!! We went to two stores and had some success and found a couple of work shirts too, but no pants. We had to bribe the little ones to "do good in the stores" and Caleb and Daniel wanted to treat us too, to ice-cream. We ended up going to an ice cream shop called "Molly Moos," a cone cost a little over $5, I am glad they paid!! We were hoping to make it to Bass Pro as well but, they closed before we could get there. We did not get back home until about 10:30pm. When we got home I still had to make sandwiches and get a few more things ready for the show on Sat. morning. Caleb and Daniel stayed home on Saturday and the 5 little ones and I drove to the goat show and hour and half away. Bethany only placed 6th with her new buck, not great! We all got home around 5pm, worked outside some, had dinner,made preparations for Sunday. On Sunday morning Mercy acted like she did not feel well, so I stayed home with her and the rest went to church, it was a travel day for us this Sunday, 1 hour and 45 minutes. Sunday evening we had our Doctrine night with another family. It went really well and we might have another family interested as well. The children played for about 45 minutes and got a volley ball game in, then Terry had the teaching time and then we had our snacks and finger food. I am looking forward to the weeks ahead as we have opportunity to "equip the saints," and to hear these truths for our own hearts again.

Now for this week, maybe normal??? The guys are working near, so thats good!

Yesterday....a memory.....on the 19th it was Joel's 3rd fever.......I know I sound like a broken record, but how else does a broken heart sound......I am living on the rock of the scriptures, but I am living with the pain too, I am receiving grace but I miss him soooo much!!


Thursday, October 16, 2008


In this world, what are the two darkest places to be in? From my own experience I would say first the darkness of sin, separation from God, without hope of eternity and then the darkness of being in the shadow of death. I have been meditating on a scripture that I read yesterday, To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace. (Luke 1:79) To be in either of these places brings hopelessness to a heart! Everyone that ever has lived or will live will experience the first, as for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, and as for the second, we will all experience the shadow of death sooner or later, separation from those we love, whether young or old. As I thought about these places that people are in or have been in or will be in, there has to be a way out, a needing to be rescued. And that is where John the Baptist comes in, he has a purpose because God has a plan. John's purpose is to proclaim the way of hope, of being rescued, deliverance, he has been given a commission to tell of the light and peace to anyone that "sits in this darkness." Anyone that is in either of these places needs light and peace and it comes (v.78) Through the tender mercy of our God... Now getting back to John's purpose, he was to be an instrument, a means, a vessel to proclaim, to comfort, to compel those that are in this darkness and this is where as I read yesterday that an excitement came to my heart, it is with this idea of "purpose." What is my purpose in life and what is my purpose in this trial? To answer the purpose in life, the 1689 Confession states that the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, and I want to share that with those who "sit in darkness of sin" and proclaim the light to them. What is my purpose in this trial? I want to share the peace to those that "sit in the shadow of death." People ask me "how" I am getting through this and my answer is; one scripture at a time, one is given, I step on it as a stone and then another is given and I step on it and just keep stepping and I am here today solely because of the "living words" of Christ that delivers and gives hope to the hopeless and He will and can do that for those that "sit" in either darkness that I mentioned above. The Lord has given me a few opportunities to share with mothers that are grieving and Lord willing He is directing in other ways for the future which I am very excited and hopeful if He brings it to fruition. Now to take another turn and make this more applicable to the most, because you are already delivered from the darkness of sin and you have not sat in the shadow of death. What is our purpose? On a broad scale it starts in Genesis and concludes in Revelation, but I want to be more practical so as I think about a mother, a wife, a woman we do have purpose because God has a plan. As a wife I think our first mandate, under the Lord of course, to be sober, to love our husbands first, then love our children to be discreet, chaste and to be keepers of the home, good and obedient to their own husbands. (Titus 2:4-5) For a time I had the wrong order on that, I loved my children more than Terry. Other purposes we can have is to do good works, be hospitable, teach the younger women. As a mother we have purpose, teaching admonishing and nurturing our children, to give light to the ones that have yet to trust Christ, to give them peace as they face "life," challenges, fears, dreams. I guess what I feel like the Lord gave me through this scripture in Luke is a new broader vision, and it starts with my own family first and then as opportunity gives, sharing the light and peace with others! You too have a purpose because God has a perfect plan, but it first has to begin with being delivered from the darkness of sin into the marvelous light and if you are facing the darkness of the shadow of death, there is peace for you too......there is hope......through the tender mercy of our [my] God..... may the Lord show you today!

We need to get in high gear this morning, way behind!! Plans and preparations are needed to get under way for the weekend, meals to be prepared, lists to be made for groceries, school to get done. We had a fun time with Danielle's visit yesterday and she "learned" soooo much in a Health and Science course, hehehe!!!! Joshua and Jeremiah are walking on the "moon." I will tell you about all starts with our trash problem....since we live out in the country we burn our trash, but in a BIG HOLE that has been dug by a bulldozer, this is our 2nd hole! Anyway as the wind is so breezy here in Ok, the trash before it gets burned blows and flows all round the hole area and lays hither and thither and is truly the biggest eye sore and truly quite disgusting!! So....since you know that Elijah (17) is a visionary and also a very generous person as well made a "deal" with Josh and Jeremiah!! They wanted a bow and were actually telling people in the family about their need of this item and Elijah being the very sensitive and generous guy offers to pay them for this deed of picking up ALL the trash that is literally everywhere and who thought it would take days for these little guys to do it BUT if your getting paid $100 each, it only takes ONE day as Elijah soon finds out last evening as he goes to check out their work!!! So I too ask if I can go pick up trash and get paid $100 seeing I could use some cash too.....but I only got laughs and no money or job:( I guess this job opportunity was only offered to the under aged, under paid and only those in need of a bow!!!!! So last night Caleb and Daniel take the little guys to the store to make their desired purchase and that is the end of the story!!!

Blessings to you today.......


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Remembering Our Babies

Today is the National day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant Loss. This includes all babies that have died because of miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS or any other infant death, or a child separation as well, like our Joel. If you have lost a baby at any week in a pregnancy I would like to pray for you today and I know others would be blessed to pray for you too. Others may not know but He knows of your precious little one. It has been suggested by the National Remembrance site that we would light a candle at 7:pm in the respected time zone you are in to honor these little ones. I would invite you to leave a comment to remember your little one if you like and give as much or as little information as you like so others can pray. Here's mine:

My name is Cindy and we have had 4 miscarriages, 1993, 1997, 2007, 2008. They are precious in his sight.... and remembering our sweet Joel

For thou has possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mothers womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them. Psalm 139

And always, forever remembering my Joel.........


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Another Oct. 2006 Memory....

Sometimes when I write about memories of Joel or the "then times," you might detect the heaviness of being under the trial, there are plenty of those memories but there are many/most memories that are fun and I guess you might say when I write about these you can sense that I am on top of the trial and the words are not as laden. Perspective and allowing the scripture to penetrate my thoughts guides these two views. On this day the 14th of Oct. 2006, was a very memorable day, it was a Saturday and we were having a "Family Day" with 4 other families which was a total of 46 folks out here on our farm. On the 11th -13 the guys worked way into the night with lights getting the red tin on our barn for the occasion. We had a wiener roast, played volley ball and then we divided everyone up and had a Scavenger Picture taking hunt. I had a list of things each team was suppose to take pictures of, one being a picture of all the twins that were here, ( the Burnett's have twin girls plus our two sets) Joel and Josiah were a little timid with so many people, and you can see that in the pictures. They did have a great time, even as they clung to me much of the time. After they ate their lunch I laid them down for their nap. After all the pictures were taken we set up chairs and hooked the cameras to a screen and Mrs. Burnett and myself were judges, Joel and Josiah had by then woke up and sat watching all the pictures. The day is so clear, the laughter, the fellowship with others, it is a day of a happy memories of being together. I read a verse in Luke this morning, 1:14, And thou have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth. The joy and gladdness of Joel's life exceeds the trial. I read this week about a mother that carried her baby 36 weeks and got to be her her son for 16 minutes and then he went to be with Jesus, anytime we have with our children is going to be too short for a mothers heart, but I have the joy and gladdenss today that I even got to have Joel and his life here with us for the appointed time the Lord granted. And I am sure if you ask that mommy, or Moses' mother or Samuel's mother, they would all say, I had rather have him for 16 minutes or two years, than not at all!! So I rejoice that I had Joel and that we had this day together 2 years ago on the 14th!!

The guys are expected back this evening and Goat Chops are up on the menu. looking ahead for the week, week, and we have another goat show, Anna is giving her lessons to her student tonight, Bethany's friend, Danielle (and ours:) is coming over tomorrow and spending the day, as she is visiting another family in OK. I am real excited about an opportunity that our family is going to do on Sunday evenings, we are going to get together with another family and Terry is going to be teaching Biblical doctrine, actually going through the 1689 Confession of Faith. It will be a time of study and fellowship. Foundation is critical in a believer's heart, it is through the doctrine of God's Sovereignity that is bringing us through the valley of the shadow of death and then too, all the daily circumstances that befall us. Terry's spiritual gift is teaching so it will be an opportunity for him to use his gifts that the Lord has given him, and I think he's a pretty good teacher myself :)

Anna's camera is still available, thanks for the inquiries, she plans on putting it on e-bay on Friday, so if your serious, let her know!


Monday, October 13, 2008

For Sale....

For Sale.......Anna is ready for an upgrade and she is wanting to sell her camera! I know there are a lot of places out there to purchase one, so if your shopping you got to get it from somewhere!
She has....

* Nikon D40 Camera
* 18-55 mm lens
* 2 rechargeable batteries ( one just purchased for the wedding)
* all the original boxes and book
* a camera case
* it was purchased a year ago in June from B&H photo on-line
(no SD card will be sold with it)

So if your interested, you can e- mail us and we can give you any info at

Getting everyone in the bed in the evenings (excluding Caleb and Daniel, they finally get into bed around the 3am time) is quite busy, a challenge and a time I enjoy, you see I usually am one of the firsts to get in the bed and Terry has this special time with the children. I can not even remember when it all started, the blessings that he gives them, and if they happen to go to bed before Terry gives them their blessing they come look for him!! He lays his hands on their head and speaks a blessing of scripture over them. The one he uses is "the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you, lift up his countenance on you and give you peace." And then he speaks a scripture over them in Nigerian, which I can not write out, but he does this in a Nigerian sound and it is usually sorta loud. Last night Terry was doing Mercy's blessing and she kept saying "give me peace." We finally figured out that she wanted the give you peace one. I remember Joel and Josiah giggling when Terry would do the Nigerian blessing to them. I guess as I lay in bed last night and heard all the rowdy fun they were having and all the blessing going forth, it brings a gladness that there are ones to do this over and a sadness that Joel is not in that room. Like so many say, its a bitter/sweet.

The guys are working afar today, hopefully they will finish this job up tomorrow. Not a lot happening besides normal duties!

Blessings to you all!!


Saturday, October 11, 2008

Anna's Work

Today was Anna's big day....taking pictures of David and Katelyn's went very well and I am so proud of Anna's work, skills and abilities....wanted to share some of my favorites, she took over 300 photos!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

They Are Here....

After dinner we all went out to the pasture and watched Elijah on the tractor and Anna took these...I thought they captured the blessing of being together, we are grateful the Lord granted safety as the guys worked and traveled and has reunited us again.....



Again, thanks for all the guesses you all made on the froggy was fun for us and me as it helped sidetrack the heavy heart I was having that morning. Also anyone that would like a Joel's Journey DVD, they are available for $12 and $3 shipping, $15 total, you can e-mail us if you would like one at . I continue to have a gratefulness how the Lord worked all that out with John-Clay and his skills in video and Caleb and Daniel doing all the music, and then to have entered it in three festivals and have it win in its categories is joy to a mommys heart that misses her little boy. Don't forget him.......

What a week.....the guys are suppose to be home today and we are fixin' a man meal!!!! Meat (beef and goat roast) and potatoes, fried okra, rolls and Anna is making a dessert of course! This morning we did some school, I finished up Jeremiah's CM book, Bethany made cinnamon rolls for our so kind vet that worked on Rancho, Mercy is taking a nap, laundry is going, still need to make a run through the house to get it in shape before the guys get here, Elijah especially likes it all to be in order! Tomorrow Anna will be the photographer at a wedding, its our friend David. I know she will do a good job with her abilities and skills. (Some of us are going, some staying, Caleb and Daniel will be glued to their studio, they are so far behind on composition for the Pendragon movie and I think Elijah might be renting a tractor to start his miniature bucking bull rodeo heard right, talk about that later!!!!) I am so blessed by all the pictures Anna takes of the children and their adventures around here, there are some awfully funny ones, but the targeted person in the picture would not be too happy if I posted them. I wish I had something profound to say today (not like I ever do) but some people in their grieving talk about different signs they receive or see. Believe me, I look for them, but they do not seem to come my way like others, but as I had the window up this morning, I "heard" some signs, or so I was blessed by all the noises and through them I worshiped the Lord, I heard a mower being driven by a child, a rooster crowing, voices of children chattering, an airplane in the heights, dogs barking, birds tweeting, goats baaing, and it brought a gratefulness that I can be here with my family and even though Joel was not able to experience this morning with me and with us, we had him for 3 years 4 months and 10 days, it was not enough for my heart but His wisdom is infinite and I do trust Him...... Just trying to live "life" with a broken heart, being separated from a child that I gave birth to..... I can do it, by his grace!

Better go, phone call and they are on their way!!!!!!


Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Winner Is......

******FROG LEGS*****

are what those things are...............

Micah, Andrew and Caleb B. were shooting some turtles and Mr. Froggy was laid to rest by Micah Morris!!!!!!!! It was a very large bull frog wasn't it??? So the winner is...........................................the Lockwood Family, way to go Jaynee, you guessed right on, deep fried froggy legs!!! Send me your address and I'll get your DVD to you!!! Thanks for all the fun.....helped my day......and some of your guesses made us laugh.