Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Not Much.....

I am just trying to stay out of the "shoulda, coulda, woulda, valley." If the Lord was willing we would have a new baby by now and that stings my heart to think of what could have been but I have to continue to trust which is sometimes hard because of the fact you can not always see past where you are in your circumstances. I read a scripture in John 20:11 But Mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping: and as she wept, she stooped down, and looked into the sepulchre. It seems that is what I do alot, that is, the first part of the verse, standing without weeping. I have got to force myself to do the second part, to stoop down and look into... I have got to look into the face of the Lord, I have got to look into the word, I have got to look into the empty tomb and know that the testiomony of victory over death flows from that tomb, that the Lord has all power and to not let my mind think of what coulda, woulda, shoulda been from my perspective. Sometimes I just do not feel like exercising spiritually, sometimes I want things to be easier. A statement in a grief book I read said something like, asking "why" keeps us looking back, asking "what now", will allow one to move forward. I do find myself asking why at times, but I do ask what now, I just do not have the answer yet. I do not know what to do. I know there are obvious things, house, husband and children, maybe thats it, but I guess I am wondering if that is all? I will try to look into......thats what I know to do.

Not much else going around here. I have been working on my Creative Memory books for the children. Everyone has one or two but Caleb and Daniel, none for them. I know I have got to gear up and tackle that, but the problem is I have sooooo many pictures without dates and I am going to have to figure out how to divide the pictures up as I do not have two prints of most. I thought about that being my summer project, we'll see. I think I have been doing CM for about 8 years and I have 18 books that I am working on. I go in spurts in working on them. By the time I get them all caught up its time to turn around and start over. I hope it will be a blessing to the children in the years to come. Bethany has helped on occassions, but she had rather be with her goats!! I guess its just my "thing."

Guess what???? Caleb, the firstborn wanted braces....personally, I did not think he needed them, but he wanted them, so......he got them. The Dr. said he should be out of them in 6 months, with this new digital way and using this special suresmile wire. He has been in some pain, and its hard to eat, but it will get better. He said yesterday, the first day,"I wish it was over." We all kinda told him in so many words, "you already bit the dust."

The guys have been around the homefront for quite awhile, which is nice to get alot done here but we do have to eat. They have jobs lined up, its just been waiting on either materials to arrive to build a barn or waitinig on other contractors to do there part. So tomorrow they will be on a job site working, YEA, now we can have food!!!!! (we have food, just thinking about my next shopping trip) While they were here they added a wing on the south side of the barn for the heifers to calve in. Looks nice too!! Terry has been working very hard in the garden, its doing well and we are eating spinach and not long until lettuces and radishes.
So thats about the news on the farm for now.....Enjoy the warm weather, we are!!!! I miss you Joel on these warm days, I know you and Josiah would be barefootin around together. Josiah and Hosanna are pretty good partners, and their feet are very dirty right now!!!!

P.S. Puppies are ready....please come get one...Bethany wants to sell them for $50, but I want to get rid of them however it takes......they say they are cute, you can see for yourself....


Laura said...

Oh wow, warm weather is what I dream about now. We're still getting snow up here..yuck. And that puppy!! My lands is he/she ever cute!! If I lived closer I'd be over in a heartbeat! I grew up with dogs in the house but right now my husband and I have no pets (we live in a basement apartment at the moment).
I had braces when I was younger (and for far too long too, like 6 YEARS!! But then my mouth was a mess) Anyhoo, I remember a girl coming up to me and saying how much she wanted braces and all I could do was look her straight in the eye and say, "No you DON'T! Trust me!" I'm glad those days are over. I hope Caleb's mouth feels better soon!

Bob and Cindy Cole said...


I know what you mean. I have had a hard few days. I keep thinking that in 6 weeks, I would've been bringing home a baby. But instead, I am seeing the tulips come up around his little grave. A baby that we have prayed for over 2 years now. Oh well. I will keep praying.