Sunday, March 9, 2008

Little Boy In Time

Little Boy In Time

The days are continuing on....
People are born, a little boy is gone

Time gives no thought
To the aching heart death has brought

Laughing, talking, on paths people go
Some sharing truth, sin others sow

O, please time, won't you stand still for me
But it goes on, my Joel will not come back and be

In days and years that go fleeting
A little boy they will not remember meeting

My heart wants all those here and there
Forget not a little boy, but time isn't fair

My little boy has lived his time in history
The Father's will, a mystery

They will not know my little boy lived and died
Except, a glimpse, for tears I can not hide

Maybe someday far away or near
The family in eternity will remember a little boy so dear

But now.... as I see the people in a mass
They remember not a little boy in my past

If I look in others eyes as I go
They too, have stories to be told

Goodbyes were said, and deaths they faced
But my little boy they cannot place

Comfort I must take, as others will never know
My Father knew of him, my little boy he holds!!

I Love You, Joel

When death knocks on your door and takes, you find your thoughts going down corridors that likely would not have traveled. If people were to see me,(those I do not know) would more than likely not be able to see the silent dirge that is playing in my heart, the mourning. Different situations bring thoughts that are new and painful. One would be as I go out grocery shopping and just see a mass of people coming and going. People I do not know nor will never know. Some older, younger, poor, rich, sad, angry, bitter, rebellious, sick and hurting. I do not know them and they do not know me, my journey, my story, they did not know my little boy. It brings a saddness that people come and go in this life, children, little boys, that are forgotten. They do not know of a little boy that changed us, blessed us, taught us, loved us. They do not hear the silent dirge playing in my heart. It is a grieving not only of being seperated from my little boy but grieving that in time, in history, in this world we will be forgotten and never known by most. Then there is the "cloud of witnesses" if I may borrow that word, that know our journey. Attending a large gathering yesterday and seeing folks that we were aquainted with for many years in a fellowship brings new thoughts and pain as did the above. So many are thoughtful to ask how I was doing. I answer "I am doing OK," yet they too might not hear the silent dirge that is playing in my heart. They are thoughtful and compassionate as can be without experience of a child seperation from death. Even the "cloud of witnesses" continue on, my little boy takes no place in their thoughts. Time goes on, people are born and return to the dust, they are forgotten to the most. You just want time to stop...but it dosen't. A mommy heart just does not want her little boy to be forgotten. People might forget my little boy, but the Lord reminded me this morning that he will not forget about Joel and when all is said and done, and he gathers his people together for eternity, Joel will not be forgotten by others either, Ps.9:18, For the needy shall not alway be forgotten.....The Lord comforted me that he has and will not forget about Joel, Ps. 139:14...and that knoweth my soul right well, and verse 17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me. So once again as I face these new thoughts from the experience of death, the Lord has met my heart with his truth to sustain me. I know many will never forget Joel, but what is the most comforting is that the Lord will not and has not forgotten my little boy. I am comforted......

P.S. Please pray for the little girl I mentioned earlier, Emily a 7 year old twin, she has NB and unless the Lord intervenes and grants a miracle her days are short. They live in Florida.

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