Wednesday, September 23, 2009

remembering 3 years ago.......

****After the "show update" in the post below, they got some MORE 1sts, 2nds and 3rds****** a REAL ANSWER TO MY PRAYERS ANYWAYS!!!!

Anna's 17th BD is tomorrow. I can not help but go back to Sept. 24th, 2006, had no clue at the time it would be Joel's last BD with Anna. The pictures above are of that evening and the family picture was taken that Sunday morning. It was our last family picture of "bliss," This particular BD party was celebrated way out in the pasture on a Sunday evening. Joel and Josiah thought it was quite the adventure! Eating out in the woods, opening presents in the woods, a campfire and singing out in the woods. I remember it so well, all of us sitting around the fire and we were singing so loud and kinda silly! It seems so "along time ago" of the way it use to be. Some of the memories are still so clear and so many are foggy, I wish I could remember every jot and tittle of him and about him. When we had the water all over the boys room the other day, I had to remove things under the bed. His suitcase was under there, still with the things in it we took to the hospital for the second round of chemo. He was so little. His passy, his nightie he had on when he had the seizure. It really is real when you see all that, he was, but now he's not. I know he lives, but I wish it was with us, right now, today!!

I read this scripture a few days ago, Turn to the stronghold, ye prisoners of hope; even today do I declare that I will render double unto thee. (Zech. 9:12) I am a prisoner of this sorrow, the chains about me have to be rusted by now from all the tears, yet more so, I am prisoner of HOPE!! By His grace, I am seeking to turn to my Stronghold and I beseech Him for His mercy to grant double. Double grace, double joy, double blessings and whatever else that is according to His will.

I have another memory about the family pictures above, you know how it is getting pictures and especially on Sunday morning, getting ready. I told everyone they would get a mint if they did "good." I thought it was so sweet of Joel with his little hands folded together, he's trying so hard because he wanted to receive that mint!!! You can click on any pictures I post and it enlarges them, look at Joel, so sweet!!!

Again, I do not want anyone to ever feel that I am not grateful for all the prayers and thoughts that you send our way. Through comments and e-mail.....thank you sooooo much!!!! It is because of Jesus, my family and YOU that come along side and exhort my spirit and soul to keep taking one more step! to the fair!!!


Chad and Jessica's Family said...

Hi Cindy- as I read this the verse in proverbs came to mind about how the memories of the righteous are blessed......... To me it means your memories are blessed.....They are treasures that are hidden within your heart and you will always have blessed memories, though it is nothing near what your heart desires at least you have the memories....keep sharing them and remembering and hold fast to the faithful word. I love you in the Lord and will continue praying for you and weeping with you in this life.

Oh, good news here.....pregnant with #5......shhhhhh though. Not saying anything to anyone yet....I really wanted to tell you though. I will have 5 children 5 and for me :)


Leanne said...

You don't sound ungrateful to me at all......just a mama who is remembering things. As you blog about them, they will no longer get foggy and old, but they will always be fresh and new.

When I read how you found Joel's suitcase under the bed, my heart twisted as though it were me in your shoes....

Thank you for trying, always striving, to be looking Up. It is so hard, it is such a job, but you will be rewarded.

God bless you, sister.

Morgan said...

Is so enjoy reading your blog. Even though I have seldom commented. You are such a blessing to me. I can't even remember how I found this blog but I have read all the way back and have been a follower for about a year or so. We even spotted your husband and I think 1 or 2 of your sons on a Duggar video. I enlarged the picture and looked at those sweet little hands. Makes me ashamed at the times I have fussed at the kids over family pictures. How I want good memories. My husbands grandmother passed away and she was 92 on Sunday. She had over 50 grandkids, great, and great-great! A wonderful legacy I hope to have one day. Thanks Missy in TN