Joel's Journey: oh....deer !!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

oh....deer !!!

Look what Micah has out in the pasture!! His deer cameras are working well!! We just got to get the "big one" to come on up!!

Making progress on the special birthday for Josiah! Castle is painted, cake and cookies made. The weather does not look to good but we'll just have to move the castle inside if it rains. It will not fit through the doors so we'll have to remove two of the turrets, but we can make it happen!! All these little knights around here and the fair princesses are ready for the royal party!

I am so thankful Josiah is here yet my heart longs for Joel to be by his side. I miss him! I miss times like this when I know he would have really gotten in to the excitement of being a knight with Siah! Joel was at the time of age three was a bit more outgoing, adventurous than Siah. Now it seems Siah has came out of his shell a bit. Grocery shopping yesterday was difficult....... It is still a road of sorrow.....I remember his last birthday, he was so happy with his John Deere tractor he got, the sounds he made to make it go are still heard in my mind. I know this was all God's will and I accept it but it still does not make my heart break everyday, tears flow and longings and dreams wished for..........my little Joel, I love you still!!

A lot to do today. Bethany and Elijah are at the goat workshop learning how to Artificial Inseminate. Terry is at Farmers Market, the last one. Anna has kitchen things to do for church, and she has to make something for a baby shower and also take her photos to the State Fair. I'll finish up birthday stuff, get the house in order and I need to iron a few pieces for tomorrow and fix dinner for this evening. I wrote this awhile back, still true today........

Will Not....

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense
That all this is working for good
There is so much I 'm going to miss
Because the seen is not understood
I will not get to see you climb farm trees
Wear holes in your jeans, and get dirty knees
I will not get to see your first tooth come out
Or ride a bike with "Siah" no doubt
I will not get to see you do your school
Writing, math and using daddies tools
I will not get to watch you grow taller
Nor see your hand lead Mercy cause' she's smaller
I will not get to see you blow out candles, parties and cakes
Creating, building toys you would make
I will not get to hear your voice change as you become a young man
I will not get to see your shoulders broaden and hold your rough calloused hands
I will not get to hear you pray for strength from above
I will not get to see a bride whom you could love
I will not get to see your generations to come
A family, a heritage, victories won
I can hardly bear the hopes and dreams that will not be
O Lord, give me eyes of faith to look beyond what I can see!!

2 comments:

Teena said...: I have started typing three times and it will not accept it.

I am praying for you. Thinging of you and my heart hurts for you.

As always I love when you share about Joel. It touches my heart. I remember like it was yesterday reading and praying.... and coming back to check on all of you.

I remember when our friend (on a message board I am on) asked us all to pray for Joel. Her name is Jen (maybe Jennifer).

I think it is great how all of you gather together and get it all going .... making the castle and cake and all.

It ministers to my heart... my Mandi is struggling with college. We really didn't want to go this path... and I love how your girls help and stay under their fathers protection. That is truly a blessing.

I can't wait to see the pics... I am praying for you. I will be thinking of you tomorrow (13th) as I know it will be hard but also a celebration of Josiah. It is my uncles birthday and he died in Apr. so as I remember him... I will remember ALL of you.

Cindy... I love what you wrote. Your strength is amazing and it is obvilous that it comes from God.
blessings,
Teena; September 12, 2009 at 3:59 PM
Unknown said...: It is such a blessing to have our Lord and Saviour with us through all of the trials. I am sure you all will miss Joel until you go to meet him one fine day. But until then, ........words cannot comfort like our Lord. I am praying for you all.; September 13, 2009 at 11:33 PM

Post a Comment

Joel's Story

Joel, our 11th of 13 and a twin of Josiah, at age 3 was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer, on December 6th, 2006. Joel had three perfect years of health and he and Josiah celebrated their 3rd birthday Sept. 13th, 2006. The first of Oct. Joel started having unexplained fevers for a few days and would return to active play. After the fourth round of fevers we took him to our family Dr. which they said his iron was low, so we treated that for a few weeks and took him back only to have his hemo. showing lower than before. We were referred to a hematologists and saw him a few weeks with blood checks twice a week. At a visit on Dec. 4th we showed the Dr. the bumps, (which were tumors but we did not know at the time) on Joel's head and he was very concerned and we were told we needed to admit him immediately and start extensive tests the following day. Joel went through rigorous testing and then the dreaded results were given. Joel was at a stage IV the most extensive stage, but we were hopeful that the Lord would use the means of Chemotherapy treatments to restore Joel's body. Joel endured 8 1/2 days in the hospital, came home for Christmas, and returned for his second round of chemo Jan. 3, 2007. Joel had a seizure that night after midnight and went into a coma due to a tumor bleeding in his head area and causing his brain to swell. After tests the following days, the Dr. declared Joel "brain dead" and took us to court to force us to take Joel off life support, as we did not agree with the medical field's definition of death. Our family sought to stand with the scripture, "life is in the blood,"and until Joel's heart quit beating naturally, he was living. We were making arrangements to bring him home and on January 23, 2007 his little heart stopped beating and he went to be with the Lord Jesus in heaven. Our lives are changed forever. God is faithful in the midst of this trial and we look with great hope to be with him someday.