Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Any meat ?????

But when the morning was now come Jesus stood on the shore....... (John 21) I look so forward to "my mornings," spending time reading the Word! I eagerly desire to "hear" from heaven, I like to think as I read and as the Spirit speaks through the Word, that Joel might be peeking around a tree, playing and he stops for a moment to listen in on the conversation I might be having with the Lord. These past days it truly "feels" like Jesus has been on the shores, at a distance while I wade through life. He asked the disciples, Then Jesus saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat? They answered him, No. Thats exactly the way it seems with me, my soul is hungry. It seems I have "no meat" as these exclaimed to share with you all. But at least he called them his children. They might not have meat for a time but it did not change His tender care, his concern, nor their position with him. What did these folks do? Well, they obeyed. They cast their nets. Jesus said to do what he said and they would find. I too will keep seeking to read, spend time with the Lord because just as these, they reaped, they found. Sometimes our catch is small and there seems to be seasons of drought and then there are catches that are more significant, where your hunger is so filled. I guess as long as we are hungry and seeking, that is better than being so full and having a more self sufficient way instead of the pleadings, implorings and askings. I'll just keep casting in the Word and taking comfort that I am His child and anticipating a "catch."

Memorial day was a ton of fun!! So much food, 3 kinds of homemade ice cream, and all the extras that goes along with Hamburgers and Dogs. Volley ball, Volley ball and more Volley ball!!! The guys even fired off 15 pounds of potatoes with potato guns! The fellowship with all the friends was a blessing. We wrapped up the evening around 10pm but then David and Kate stayed on a while and got into some crazy "adventures." For some reason Dave takes off and runs wildy out in the dark, across the road, into a pasture that has likely 2 foot grass with flip-flops on.....not a good a major snake opportunity!! Ok, then what do you think happens???? Our children except Mercy, Siah and Hosie take off after him! So here they are, pitch dark, running around trying to find the "guam boy!!" Dave is from Guam and has great stories of his life and he would be classified as a "suvivor." They finally find him but that little adventure only gets them stirred up. Next Dave and Kate take off to hide and for our children to find them. They end up out in the pasture laying on the ground. Another time Dave climbs a tree and they are around the tree, a very skinny tree and they see the leaves swaying at the top and they find him!!! Sorry Wilson family, I did not know "fun" was awaiting after you all left!!! It was a great day!!

How does everyone's Summer look?? For us, well we do not actually do "big" vacations, mostly time and resources hinder that but we do like to go to my dads in Hot Springs Ar, he lives right on Lake Hamiltion and we plan to go there sometime in June. We did that last year but Terry has to stay on board here to handle the farm stuff!! He doesn't mind, and he tries to get alot of paper work done and he loves to be on his farm working anyway. I do not necessarily have any big goals, work on my creative memory books and maintain the household. If all continues to go well with the garden, we'll can some vegetables and we are also planning to do the Farmers Market in Guthrie again this year on Saturdays.

I pretty much have the Bistro Patio finished up, I might add some more later when these flowers start to wither or fade. It is a peaceful place to sit and adding the flowers makes it a little haven for me! All of our walkways, patios and most of the flower beds are a result of trying to prevent erosion. We cut off one path of water flow and it sends it this way and we build another detour and try to make it go another way only to have to build another path, walk or something. I remember when I was little at my house I had places that were nooks, bushes that I went in under, paths that seems long and "big,' I hope the children remember all the little paths, sidewalks, bushes they play under, areas they build mud creations and it will cause them to always hold "home and family and childhood dear to their hearts." Josiah came in my room yesterday morning and he requested to see Joel's monkey I have sitting on a shelf. He grabbed it, held it, made its arms do funny things and I held it a minute and told him I wished we could take this and just smell "Balley." I felt like he was having a moment of reminiscing of Joel, it brought tears to my eyes, then he gave it to me silently and stood and looked out the window. You can see the swing set from my window that he and Joel loved to visit. I think he was re-visitng the way things use to be. When he left the room, I cried heaps, I even had to hit the bed with my fist and have a fit of sorrowful anger. I can not stand this, I so wish it was not this way, for Josiah for all his brothers and sisters. The scripture says he binds up the wounds, that means to me that yes he "wraps up" and comforts but it still seeps, it still opens up. There are still very hard days, the tears still flow easily. Two years, 20 this life......a wound that never heals!!!!

I better go, Mercy says,( having one boot on), "hey mom, I can't find my boot that goes on this foot!!!"


MP said...

I pray for your broken heart and give thanks to God that you are a woman of faith.
The Bistro is beautiful.I know it will be a blessing!

Dara Steward said...

The patio is beautiful! Scripture promises that if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. Thank you for writing and for sharing your journey.

Teena said...

Oh Cindy... my heart hurts with you and for you. What a special moment with Josiah. One to write down so that when he is a young adult he can be reminded. I continue to think of you and pray for you.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE your patio. Oh wow... I will try NOT to covet! (blush)~ it is wonderful. How did you do it? I love to have a *haven* to spend time in the word and seek HIS face.

I am so thankful for your testimony. HUGS~

Jessica said...

Cindy- May the Lord give you joy unspeakable and strength for each day. I know the pain must be the worst kind imaginable and am sorry you have to go through this. I pray often for you and think of you and your sweet family daily. I know that no words are going to make anything better but I know that with others praying God can do mighty things.... Blessings.
p.s. I sent you a thank you for Joels Journey.(I didn't want you to think I wasn't saying anything about it on this comment) I hope it gets there soon- I sent it out Tuesday.

Anonymous said...

I just love your patio. You're a wonderful home-maker!!
My heart also goes out to you hearing about Josiah, and his thoughts of Joel and missing him. I'm sure your mother's heart feels his loss much more keenly than he does. I agree with Teena though , to write these things down.
In the meantime, you have such wonderful ,full times with the Lord and your family!! Many of us reading your blog look longingly at your blessings. And I know you're thankful for them all!


Strangfamily said...

Hello, I wanted to comment and tell you that a few years ago we had a stillborn baby boy. It amazes me that many of the things that you share in your experience are so similar to the process that the Lord has taken me through since Baby Boaz was born still. The Lord is so faithful and is so much "a present help in trouble". Some days it is still so fresh in my memory and other days I have, by God's grace, learned to live with the pain. Anyway-- my heart goes out to you and your beautiful family. I know that the LORD will continue to bring healing to you and your family but the road is not without bumps along the way! I am thankful to Him that HE makes Himself known to us through the most difficult and excruciating circumstances. I will pray for you all.
In Christ,
Cynthia Strang

Mountain Mama said...

God knows just what we need, when we need it. What a very sweet moment.

I see a perfect spot for you and me to sit and sip on our tea and talk away the morning (or probably, day)!! Beautiful patio.