Since I have not posted in a few days, I thought I'd better let you know we are still here, I popped in the library to do this, but our computer is down again, and several in the past are so kind to e-mail us out of care, and that cheers my heart. David is going to come over later and see if it is a "fix it" or not. So for those that have e-mailed lately, I will not be able to answer your questions until its fixed!!
Just a quick "what have we been doing"....yesterday was rainy, Terry was around the house and actually did some reading and paper work, it was good to see have some leisure time as he loves to read...especially Spurgeon!!
Last night Mercy crawled up in my lap with a book, one of Joel's that he got at the hospital on his first round of chemo, as it was Christmas time and little carts full of goodies for children would come by and they could pick a gift. Joel chose the book "A Charlie Brown Christmas." I am not a peanuts fan but this book is a treasure so I am keeping it. For the two and one half weeks he was home until Jan., we read this book many times, Joel on one side and Josiah on the other side. I did not even cry when I read it this time, I was too awestruck with a phrase that stood out towards the end of the book. I think Linus, (I can't remember,) steps up to the plate to tell everyone what Christmas is all about. I too would ask Joel and Josiah what Christmas is all about, and they would say so sweetly, "Jesus." Anyway the scripture is quoted on this page and says "And there was with the angel a multitude of a heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God, peace on earth, good will to men." At the time I was reading the story, we had every hope that though the battle we were in with this monster cancer, I was not thinking that in about 30 to 35 days or so that Joel would be one of those heavenly host praising God. I thought of the scripture in I John, that talks about and comparing that we had Joel from the beginning, we saw him with our own eyes and looked upon him and our hands handled him, this same little boy that I held in my lap is amongst the heavenly host now....its so hard for my brain to capture. Just think for you to hold your little one and then you can no longer touch and feel them, and to think of them being apart of the heavenly host.... Its a wonder to my thoughts in the midst of grieving.
As I mentioned I have read many stories of other mommy's journey's and their grieving. Most of them are grieving with hope and faith in the Lord. I have read a few stories and the mommy's heart are so down, they do not speak of a faith and hope in the Lord and I guess I feel so for them, I do not see how any one could face this without the Lord. I read a scripture in Ex.15:23-25. And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter. v.24- and the people murmered against Moses saying, What shall we drink? v.25 And he cried unto the Lrod, and the Lord showed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters; the waters were made sweet. It is the mercy of the Lord that I am not in the shoes as some of these mothers. We are going to face bitter waters in life, what we have to do is purpose to welcome the Lord to our hurt and ask him to come and be that tree and allow him to turn the waters sweet. I pray that those that are struggling with God's plans will cry out to him, he will come and help your heart! I think too we each have to pass through grieving at our own pace and hopefully soon these mothers will come to the phase of seeing their desperate need for the Lord to help them through this.
Guess I had better continue errands in town and "git back home." Hope it will not be too long before the computer is up and going...