I Miss Him Today.....

Will Not....

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense
That all this is working for good
There is so much I 'm going to miss
Because the seen is not understood
I will not get to see you climb farm trees
Wear holes in your jeans, and get dirty knees
I will not get to see your first tooth come out
Or ride a bike with "Siah" no doubt
I will not get to see you do your school
Writing, math and using daddies tools
I will not get to watch you grow taller
Nor see your hand lead Mercy cause' she's smaller
I will not get to see you blow out candles, parties and cakes
Creating, building toys you would make
I will not get to hear your voice change as you become a young man
I will not get to see your shoulders broaden and hold your rough calloused hands
I will not get to hear you pray for strength from above
I will not get to see a bride whom you could love
I will not get to see your generations to come
A family, a heritage, victories won
I can hardly bear the hopes and dreams that will not be
O Lord, give me eyes of faith to look beyond what I can see!!

I am missing Joel today, everyday..... I have been reading in the book of Joel, I don't know, just thinking of who he was named after, who he might have been. Most mornings soon upon waking I have the thoughts of what would he be doing today?? The void will always bring thoughts of what life would be like if he were here. One verse stood out, 3:16, The Lord also shall roar out of Zion, and utter his voice from Jerusalem; and the heavens and the earth shall shake: but the Lord will be the hope of his people, and the strength of the children of Israel. At some point in each of our lives more than likely we will experience a "shaking" that will seem like we are utterly being swallowed by heaven and earth. Ours is the separation with Joel. In the midst of this shaking event the Lord says that he is our hope. No matter how despairing, dark, painful our circumstances bring us to, Jehovah is God( that is what Joel's name means) he is our hope. The everyday associations with Joel's life is so hard, just looking around and seeing the things he touched, places he played, toys that he enjoyed, chairs he sat in, it is sometimes the strangest feeling too, that yes he was here and now he is not. Time is not a friend, it seems so long that I had him here and it seems so long until I will see him again. I am clinging to the hope but it does not diminish the daily pain of missing him!! I try so hard sometimes in my memory to remember his face, his voice, his smell, the way his little hands were always so rough, Josiah brings comfort as I imagine of who Joel would be, but none can take his place. There are probably some that wonder, "well you have so many more children," that is true but I have often thought of that parable of the lost coin or the lost sheep, it was only one, but they searched, they looked, it was missing I have other children but one is not here. I just miss him..........

Mundane stuff getting done around here today....the girls have not ironed in ever so long, so they have a mountain of that to do. Who likes that job??????????? I do not and neither do they but it must be done!!!! Anna has been making zucchini bread like crazy!!!! The guys are in the Norman area building a Build Block house and barn for a home owner. Once again they are introduced to folks that bring friendships and able to share about the Lord one way or another, and they have many funny stories that they share with us!! So thankful for this new era of work the Lord has led our family into. I know Terry's heart is filled with an overflow as he gets to work with his best friends....his sons!!!

Andrew has improved 100% so we are so thankful for the means of the treatments. He has to go back in tomorrow and they will check his blood oxygen levels, I feel confident it will be in the upper 90"s.

I just want to take a minute here and say thank you to so many that continue to e-mail and share comments expressing their words of comfort and encourage us on this journey. So many friends via this journey. Two main sources of how we are "making it!" The first is the Lord of course, his truths and his mercies and then the second is folks like you, seeking to intercede on our behalf, sharing tears of sorrow and words of hope with us. Our friendship borders have been expanded in such a way that I hope we are all growing and learning of our great God!! I can not even imagine traveling where we have traveled without either. I have enjoyed the "meeting" of so many, your families, your endeavors and your visions. I find I want to give something back to you and yet what???? I will just give you a blessing.......... "May the Lord of heaven and earth grant every desire according to his will in your lives, make you fruitful with thousands in Israel, bless you with generations of faith through your children until the appearing of the Lord Jesus, that love would abound in your homes through each relationship, that every need would be met over and beyond what is requested, that there would be a spirit of gratefulness and may the Lord be honored in your lives and families!!!"

Cindy

Interesting Day!!!!

These kind of days are not my favorite but we must receive them with the "smooth" ones as well!! Andrew (12) has had trouble breathing and some wheezing for about 3 days. Last night I watched him sleep until about 4:00 am because he was so overcome with fear. It made me mad that the enemy was torturing Andrew with such thoughts and making him fearful that something was terribly wrong with him. I tried to share with Andrew how we have to battle the enemy with the truth. I think through this Andrew has been made more aware of the spiritual battle that we will face. Anyway, I was able to get a appointment at 9:00 this morning and we were late because of the torrential rain. His diagnoses was upper respiratory infection/ bronchitis. In our 20 years of child sickness, this is the first one of these, so that is good and it is something to be thankful for in the midst. His saturations were 87, so he is pretty clogged up, good sats are at 98. How well that "lingo" brings back memories with Joel, all the machines monitoring this and that on his little body. I had to once again sit just about on the same chair that I held Joel in waiting for Andrew to get his lab work done.....it hurts so bad!!!!! Places and things that he went and touched is ever present and I am glad for the memories yet they make my mind visit back to a little boy that was sick and in just a month previously he was going so strong. I just have to bow to the "plans"and say "thy will be done" and thank the Lord for his wonderful life that I got to be apart of!! We did two breathing treatments at the office and was brought up to a 90. I had to rent one of those nebulizer machines and he is taking some antibiotics, so Lord willing he will start clearing out soon. If you think to, pray the Lord would use these means to work on those bronchial tubes and open them up! Ok, the next item that was not very good news is the van.....the mechanic put the engine in and it is not an engine that works!!! So now he will take that one out and seek out another one to put in. The last little news is not terrible by any means but I did have to drive two hours round trip to take Terry and the boys a tool they needed on the job. So it has been a busy day and its only early afternoon! I think I need a nap since I was up so late or early!! :0

Josiah painted Hosanna's toes......too cute!!!! And our guest Danielle reading books is great fun! The guys finished up the girls floor, it is so nice and clean now!!! Also Farmers Market tomorrow, Lord willing, lots of yummy veggies!!!

Cindy

Being Made Whole!

I have read many, many entries from other grieving mommy's of babies and toddlers. Their words could be my words and my words could be theirs. We are all sharing the same feelings and heartache in much the same way. One common sorrowing phrase that we express is the "gaping" hole we feel within our hearts, we feel like we are not "whole anymore." 17 months have passed since Joel was with us and it has been a process, I am not done with it and whoever could be but I do think we can move forward with a hope that the "hole" we have can be filled somewhat in this life. I read a scripture this morning and though I am not totally there it gave me a vision that I can go forward in this life. I do not know how long it will take, but I was thankful for the Lords word to my heart today! Luke 17:15, 16, 19 And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at his feet giving thanks: and he was a Samaritan. (19) And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith has made thee whole. I think one of the steps of being made whole is to be thankful and grateful. Now, for me through the first year there was not an ounce of thankfulness in me and if I voiced it, it was not a well- spring arising up out of my heart. I certainly passed through the anger phase and I really do not know once you go through it, if it is all said and done or if it will creep back at any given time. Since we are so inclined by our sin nature, I think we will have to be on guard for that attack and combat it through the word if needed. I really was blessed by the order that the scripture gave as to when the "thankfulness" was expressed. He turned "back" and that showed me that the Lord understands that we might not can express this at first, maybe not even the first year like me, but there will be a time that we will be able to turn back and express thankfulness. Then, after this true heart of thankfulness we can be made whole through the faith that is grown and given, thy faith has made thee whole. In my own reasoning I can not see how I can be made whole when Joel is missing, his bodily presence is gone, yet through faith, through trusting in God's plan, through Jesus filling that hole, I can be made whole. Like I said I want to embrace this, it is so hard to see the "thankful" things, but I did name some to the Lord this morning with tears. May those that are reading this and have had their hearts broken as well, be encouraged. Probably most that read this have not had such a trial, but are experiencing a gaping whole in another form, there too, begin to express thankfulness for what you do see and allow the Lord to make thee whole with thy faith. Of course there are perhaps some that have not been made whole through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior, may he work his work in each heart.

We are in "fun mode." Bethany's friend Danielle is here, but we are still keeping up with our schedule and having fun fellowship too. Today, our cleaning day. We are going to try to fix some Chinese food for supper, homemade egg rolls and some won ton things, and rice, our chicken and our veggies!!!!

Thankfully the guys finished up in Watonga and they are in the Norman area for a week or so. The guys waxed their truck, they are so funny hopping all around on springs of excitement!! Last night they tore out the girls room carpet, after 14 years and are putting hardwood floors in. We have hardwood floors in the halls, living and dining. Us girls are so glad for the nice clean room to be!!!! One project at a time.....

Oh,!!! the picture above with Hosanna, those are Anna's pumpkin vines, are they are sooo huge and taking over the garden, it will be fun to see if we get pumpkins from them!!!

Blessings to you!!!

Cindy

Bethany's Birthday Pictures !!

What a blessed day with Bethany on her 19th birthday, I want to honor her as she has so honored her parents. we celebrated this evening with gifts, her choice of a hamburger meal and all the trimmings. Her theme was "Far Above Rubies," we decked out the area with ruby red and gold decorations, reminding us that a virtuous woman is so valuable, and our prayer is that each of our daughters set their hearts to that truth and trusting that the Lord would fashion them unto this role of womanhood. Love you so much, Bethany!!!! We still are going to get some volley ball in and have some yummy cheesecake to top it off!!!

Enjoy the pictures.......

Cindy

Birthday Blessings to Bethany....

Happy Birthday to Bethany!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our first born daughter.....what a wonderful blessing she is to our hearts, our home and to her siblings! Yes, many people thought we had our family after she came, two boys and now a girl. O, how grateful we are to the Lord for the grace given to receive these blessings for him. Bethany was such a sweet baby in the sense of being so peaceful, content and sleeping all through the night soon after we brought her home, I think the Lord was giving us a break from two little fellows that kept us awake at nights for soooo long,:) Now she is growing up to be a godly young lady, seeking to honor the Lord, her parents and serve her family. There are many things that bless my life about Bethany, one of the first things that comes to mind is her love and sweet spirit towards her siblings and then her spirit of rarely complaining and she has a bright countenance that encourages others around her. I enjoy that she finds such pleasures in her surroundings and is not "looking" for ideas and ways that would lead her away from her family. She is content to be under her father's protection until her "Prince Charming" is brought to her. I am grateful too that she has a beautiful relationship with her dad. She is just a great "farm girl!!! May the Lord bless you today, my dear daughter of Eve and grant the desires of your heart according to his will. I love you, your family loves you and more than that the Lord loves you!!!!

I will let her post about her most "unusual" birthday surprise this morning......absolutely great!!!!!! She is having a Far Above Rubies party (her blog name too) this evening when the guys get home.

When a person is grieving, we are driven in our hearts to want to "get" all that the Lord has purposed and all that he is willing to show us this side of eternity. This morning I read a verse in Luke 14:29, ...This man began to build, and was not able to finish. O how I do not want this to happen, Whatever the Lord has purposed and begun, in me for this trial, I desire him to finish in me. I read another scripture in Heb that seemed to give a picture of what I desire the Lord to do, Heb.6:7 For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, recieveth blessing from God. I want to drink in the "rain" from the Lord to my heart and recieveth blessings from the Lord and the herbs brought forth will be meet for me.
May it be so, Lord!!!!

Our remembering Joel with planting flowers was encouraging. Hosanna was concerned about "digging" too deep, I assured her Joel's little body was farther down than the depth we needed to dig for the flowers and I was able to tell them about Resurrection bodies on that day when Christ returns!

We are in for a big day of getting things ready for the party, have a great day!!!

Cindy

Remembering Joel Today....

For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted;neither hath he hid his face from him;but when I cried unto him, he heard. Ps.23:24


Its the 23rd once more.....17 months since I last saw him, touched him...there are not any words that are able to describe what that "feeling" is like, only by experience can one know the depth of hurt that penetrates your heart.The Lord will hear my cries today. There are so many happy, wonderful memories of Joel, but the last day we had with him is wrought in my mind and it hurts. To look at the machines and see the numbers fall from his heart dropping and your mind is going so fast, thinking... 70 then to 40 then to 30 and then 0.....then a beeeeep!!!!! All the machines become quiet but the lamentations are heard throughout the room. I get to hold him for the first time in 20 days, but he's not warm anymore, he's not there.....I want to hang on to every memory, but that last day is so dark. I think it is just a mommy thing, I still have the feeling of wanting to do something for him on the 23rd. Most of the poems I have written have been posted on the 23rd for Joel (Joel's Poems on the side bar) I did not write one today but I am going to do something special in another way, I am going to get some flowers and plant them on his grave, and anything else that I might see today as I go out shopping. I miss you Joel, I am going forward because that is the way to see you again.....I love you still even in death, your my little boy forever!!!! I miss you for "Siah" and all the twin things I know you would be doing like Caleb and Daniel did. I miss you for Mercy, she looks at your picture in our room and says "Joel Morris." I ask her where you are and she says "in heaven with Jesus." I miss you when we have special times like daddies birthday, I know how you would be pushing your way through to be in on the celebration, I miss you on the farm, O how you would love all the new babies and animals. In some ways I wish you back, yet that is every parents prayer for their children, that they would have heaven as their home, we just want a long life here with you first. I love you!!!!

Terry's birthday went well, it was so good to be together since the guys have been gone so much with work. His provision of work has been a blessing. We fixed Terry a big meal for the evening and Anna made a great dessert for him. (pictures below)

I am off to go shopping now, in the little car again, it ended up the van had more problems than we thought, the whole engine had to be replaced, so sad, but I guess it is less money than the purchase of another one. The Lord knows, even about vans!!!

May the Lord give you all a good start of the week today!

Cindy

Happy Birthday to Dad!

Happy Birthday to you, Dad !!!!!!!!


Dear Dad,

Happy Birthday, to the most wonderful Dad in the world!! You are such a blessing to me, and I’m so blessed to be your daughter. You and Mom are such a wonderful example to me of the way a Christ honoring beautiful marriage should be. I pray that God will give me a husband just like you!

I so appreciate your Godly leadership in our home, reading us God’s word, and teaching us as you walk by the way, as you rise up, and as you lie down. And even more so your example to me of living out what you teach. I appreciate your humility, always seeking forgiveness when you fail.

“God will provide” is a phrase I often hear you say, and to this day we’ve never once been without food or clothing. That is such a blessing for me, to see that no matter how hard the circumstances are, God will provide for our every need, we just have to trust Him!

I so appreciate the emphasis you put on spending time with your family…I love being with you, whether it is a trip to Guthrie late at night, or going to a goat show together.

It is such a blessing to me to see you stand up for God’s truth, in a day where truth is rejected. And how you are laboring to raise up Godly children who will carry on the banner of Christ for many generations.

I love you Dad!! Happy Birthday!
Your daughter,
~Bethany

Dear Dad,
I love you so much, you are the best Dad in the world! I want to follow in your footsteps. Happy Birthday!

Love,
~Micah

Happy Birthday, I love you!

~Jeremiah

Wish Balley was here, but he's up in heaven. Happy Birthday!

I love you,
~Josiah

I love you Dad! Happy Birthday!
~Josh

I wuv youuuuu!
~Precious Mercy

I love you, Dad!
~Hosanna

Happy Birthday, I love you SO much! You work so hard for us, I am so glad you are my Dad.
~Andrew

Dad,
Happy Birthday to the most amazing Dad ever!! I am so thankful to have a father like you. Thank you for being such a godly example to the rest of us! There are so many wonderful things about you...the list could go on and on. You are humble, generous and such a diligent worker...you are all I could ever ask for in a Dad, and much more. It is such a joy and so much fun to be your daughter. I am honored to have you as my DAD!! I love you always!
~Anna

Dad,
Happy Birthday! I am so blessed to have the most courageous and God-fearing man as my dad. Thank you for having the faith to quit your good job and start our business together, it is such a blessing!!
~Elijah

Dear Dad,
Happy Birthday to my wonderful Father. It is such a blessing to have a father that delights in his Biblical role as a leader and head of his family. I am so grateful for the sacrifices you have made for all of us. You have truly been the best example to me and I desire to be as good a father to my own children, Lord willing as you are to me!
Your son,
~Daniel

Happy Birthday to a very honorable man; to be your son, I am indeed blessed to have a father like you. May the Lord bless you on this wonderful day! I am grateful for all the years that we have had together, years that you have spent pouring yourself in to us. Thank you for your leadership, your vigor in teaching us the truth about God's word, your audacity in standing up for what is right, and for being a courageous visionary man for our family. May the Lord grant us many more years together!
Your son,
~Caleb

Happy Birthday, Dear!!! Loves!! I am so grateful for you and for the Lord granting you the honor to be Joel's daddy!!! I know if he were here, he would be right in the middle of the celebration!!
Your wife,
~Cindy


WE LOVE YOU !!!!!!!

He Will Maintain Me......

I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and the right of the poor. Ps. 140:12

I am now an afflicted person, afflicted with sorrow, I will always be categorized as such, afflicted means needy in mind or circumstance, and since I am needy I need someone to help me with my needs.....I was blessed by this scripture this morning that I know I will receive that help! He will maintain my cause. I looked up what "maintain" means and it gave me some pictures to meditate upon. This is what the Lord is going to do for me... to do, accomplish, appoint, become bear, bestow, fashion, furnish, bring forth, follow, govern, grant, keep, observe, be occupied, perform, serve, provide, procure, work, use, only to name a few out of Strongs. Now, as I thought about this road of grieving and all the up and down emotions and how they come, one day I can be very low and then another day I can be strong in heart, all the above ideas encouraged me that the Lord will meet me wherever I am on any given day. If I am having a "good day," then he could bring forth, fashion, furnish truth to my heart and I welcome that, but if I am having a "hard day," he will be there ever so gently providing, being occupied, bearing with my hurt. One who maintains is one who takes care of, that keeps it running, these ideas gave me a comfort and hope that He is there ready to be what my needy, afflicted heart needs!! I read another verse in Luke 5, And he entered into one of the ships....thrust out a little from the land. And he sat down and taught the people out of the ship. Just being out a little on the "limb" so to speak, we can certainly be taught but the next verse says he said unto Simon, launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught. It is when we are in the "deep" that can really transform us, and we can bring in the greatest fruits and receive the "biggest" works of faith in our lives. It can be "astonishing" as v.9 says, of the draught they caught. Now I would not have had this view at the beginning of our grieving journey, but I can see a little sunshine on many days of the benefit of this "deep." Jesus said "Fear not" in v.10, we need not have fear of trials, that is easier said than done, yet it is for our good and his glory. He will give what is needed in our time of need. I received alot to think about today and that is very good for me as it helps keep my mind occupied with truth away from the lies of the enemy!!

A report on the "big shopping day" that Bethany and Anna went on with the Burnett ladies. They found a lot of goodies. Some things from a few regular stores, but the big haul was from the thrift stores they hit. Mrs. Burnett is a "thrift store queen" and she knows where to go!!

Ok....agenda today......I have a few errands to run, bank and stuff, Micah and Andrew are going to dig the rest of the potatoes, Anna has several dessert to prepare, church and for her ****Dad's***** birthday on Sunday!!! A few cleaning projects. We need to pick and possibly can green beans again. Since the guys are back to Watonga, we will not have to be too hard with a schedule so we will just work and play!!! They were "riding high" when they drove off to work this morning!!! We are so very thankful for the provision of the truck.(see post below)

Yes, Terry's birthday is Sunday and Bethany's 19th birthday is on Tuesday, so I have to get my "thinker cap" on for Bethany's party, I have some ideas. Terry is just going to have a "happy birthday" party, easy!!!

We got all the chickens done around 9:30 pm, they were doing all the truck stuff so we did not get started until around 8:30, it went fast and our friend, David (our computer fixer man) came over to help and even gave us a Unicycle demonstration, Elijah needs ALOT of practice !! Tomorrow, Sat, we are not going to make it to the Farmers Market, we are helping some friends butcher 45 of their chickens, that is some of us as the guys will be gone.

Remember, always be thankful for Friday, Sunday followed......the Cross/Resurrection

Cindy

Major Provision !!!!!!!!!!!!

The Lord brought the jobs, the Lord gave them the strength and abilities to work, the Lord gave them the discipline to save and be able to buy the truck out right...... the Lord has blessed the guys with this new/used truck!!!!! An 06 Ford 350 Dually, Diesel, with around 50,000 miles on it! They are so very grateful, the small children are a little out of control, but thats ok!!!! He is faithful!!!!! I guess only a grieving mommy and maybe a sister would have thoughts and sadness about trading our other truck in, it was a Joel truck, he went to get it with the boys in Dec.06, and we have a picture of him in it, he was so happy. I will get over it of course, just one more thing to let go of. I am excited though and thanking the Lord for blessing my men with this wonderful gift from above!!!!

Now we have had excitement with that, its time to get to work.....butchering the chickens! We only have 25 or so, it will not take too long. The guys will head back to Watonga in the morning, this job was way longer than anticipated but certainly a means of provision and we are thankful. Lord willing they will be back Sat. late.

I pray your hearts are encouraged to the truth that God is faithful!!!!

Cindy

Faith.....

OK....I am thinking here, or writing it out rather....I have often wondered why the Lord just did not heal Joel, He surely would have been praised and got glory, but obviously that was not the plan and He desired a greater glory, a glory that would not be brief and then soon forgotten, but a glory that might be long term, allowing others to see a faith tried and tested and then coming forth and not crumbling. If the Lord would have healed Joel, we would have pretty much went on with our lives and perhaps those that we have come to know through his sickness, they too would have went on their way and our lives would return to the "normal." I would more than likely ran out of things to say and this blog would soon wither, our lives would be swallowed up with business, yours too as time went on. We would not have had our faith stretched, it would have been a faith that lasted only until the next crises, but as it is, many of you are still looking into our lives viewing our faith, your are seeing faith lived out ( only by the grace of God, because this trial has literally brought me to the lowest, I have questioned God, I have been sick of him and his plan, I have wondered if all this faith and looking to someone we cannot see is really real, so it is by His grace that I am still going forward) you are seeing faith agonize, your seeing if the faith will carry us through to the next need. Quick fixes often bring big crowds and then they disperse. What produces long term faith is long term suffering and that is what I believe the Lord is doing and the way He is receiving the most glory. You see it is this word we call "faith" that links us to the unseen, this mysterious word that is called faith compels us to speak and pray to Someone we cannot see, this word faith springs in us a hope that this life is not what life is really all about. This little word faith is what we hinge our whole lives on, faith in the truth. Without faith it is impossible to please God. You see before Joel became sick, I had faith, but it was puny, little and weak. I prayed and made requests known and thought it would be wonderful if the Lord answered, but it was more like "oh well," I kinda thought he was there somewhere. The first year of Joel not being here with us, I picture my faith as one surfing on top and going through all the motions but not feeling all the emotions, a numbness. Now this second year, this faith is searching, looking, I am desperate, I have never thought of dumping the Lord until these last few months, but I have mechanically been moving forward doing what I know to do next, reading, praying, spending time with the Lord, and now I feel like I am able to maybe say in a small way what Job said I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now my eye seeth thee. God desires a faith that withstands, that does not give up, that endures, I have not had that. Faith is that substance that leaps out and believes when all is dark, when it feels like God is no where. I have faith when I "feel" the Lord. So this trial is most likely just for me, to give me real faith. My flesh, my mommy heart had rather have Joel, than faith, but it is once again faith that will please the Lord, it is faith that will get me through life, Joel is an incredible blessing, but he will not give me what my heart really longs for, only Jesus can fill that and that which is between Him and me is the faith, the cross, the truth!! It is like a picture that came to my mind...I pictured a puzzle of our family and a piece is missing, it has a certain shape, all that I have now even with all the children that are here, all the blessings of this life cannot fill that particular shape that is missing. The only one that can conform to that missing shape is Jesus. I will miss Joel as long as I have breath in me, I will continue to hurt and have tears, but while I am here, Jesus can fill that missing piece and I can continue on until I get to that unseen world where Joel is. I read a verse in Heb.2:8-9, ...But now we see not yet all things put under him, (9) But we see Jesus...... At this very time, we still are experiencing death, sickness, sadness, pain, suffering, and the sins of this world, but one day those things will be no more, either when we individually exit this life or at the consummation of time. So what do we do in the mean time....the next verse tells us how to get through until then.... "but we see Jesus." We see him through his word and we look with "faith" to what will take place. I thought of another probably weak illustration, but it became more clear as I pondered it.....remember I mentioned awhile back of prayers I was praying and waiting for the Lord to answer, one of those prayers I have been praying is that the Lord would provide the guys a work truck. In my mind I thought of all these exciting supernatural ways the Lord could provide and for a brief moment we even thought of a way to lease the truck and get it quickly. Now if the Lord had done that through one of those ways, we would have been excited and said "the Lord provided," we would have said "thank you, Lord," gone on our way and most likely faith would not have grown. As it is, we are still praying, still making our request known, our faith is being exercised, stretched, we are laboring for a desire through prayer. When the Lord sees fit to answer this, how much more will our faith be established. The scripture is true not only on the physical sense of "in all labor there is profit," but in the spiritual sense too, as we labor in prayer, it is to our profit!! I sense my faith has shifted somewhat to a different level, a faith that believes He is there, He does see and know my hurt and His plan is best. Faith is not faith if it is all seen and laid out before us.

The guys were back to Watonga yesterday and will get in tonight, Lord willing!! Thursday we plan to butcher the last of the chickens. Caleb, Daniel and Elijah gave Bethany and Anna some money to buy some new clothes, so they are possibly going shopping with the Burnett women tomorrow.( the picture above is one of their new shirts) The van is suppose to be ready Wednesday, YEA!!!! So that is how the rest of the week looks!!!! Josiah blessed me with some "country flowers," he already knows how to win a womans heart!!!!

May the Lord continue to accomplish his wonderful will through Joel's trial........

Cindy

Father's Day Evening.....

Mmmmmmmm...... Bodacious sure tasted good!!!! We fixed ribeye steaks with a side of mixed sauted' green beans, red potatoes, onions and squash, for Terry this evening. It was neat that the beef and all the veggies came off our land, and Anna made a special dessert, what a blessing to be together. This morning we were encouraged as we spent time with other believers around the scripture. Caleb and Daniel shared at one point the influence that Terry has been to them and how he has been an example to them of how they want to lead in their own families. I was very touched with their sincere words and how there heart is towards their father. It is only by the grace of the Lord that we are able to see our children walk in the truth. We also got some volley ball in too. We sure missed Joel, it is extra painful as we celebrate what Terry means on this special day and we are not all able to be together.

I hope your day was as special as ours!!

Cindy

Dear Daddy.....Father's Day

Dear Daddy,

I really do not remember, but mommy says you held me first, tight against your chest, while waiting for brother "Siah," your life to bless. You loved me from the very start, not knowing the Father's plan for us to part. What fun we had on our little farm, but best of all, I loved to snuggle in your arms. You taught me many things, even though I was small, you spoke to me of Jesus love and how he hears us when we call. At night you would tuck me in my bed, pray a prayer and blessing with your hands upon my head. I liked it when you would push me high, way up in my swing, I would raise my feet and into your chest they would fling. Remember the barn work and dirt I helped you haul, sometimes I would loose your tools cause I was just so small. Thank you for taking care of me daddy, when I got sick and couldn't walk. You would lay beside my bed, read books and we'd have our little talk. You fought and prayed and sought my life to save. Remember that night, while in the coma, my little foot did wave, I know it gave you hope that all would be alright, but I was really getting ready for my next day flight. Thank you daddy for your life you would have gave, it's a picture of what the Father accomplished and the victory over the grave. I have alot I would like to say, but I'll save it to tell you all about it one day. I know you miss me much and your tears your cheeks keep wet, but don't be sad for me, cause the Father I have met. Remember back at the start, how YOU welcomed me into our home, it won't be long til I'll get to take your hand and lead you to the throne!! I love you Daddy!

~Joel

What an incredible daddy....Joel, Caleb, Daniel, Bethany, Elijah, Anna, Micah, Andrew, Josh, Jeremiah, Hosanna, Josiah and Mercy have!!!!!!!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This and That.....

We had a wonderful visit with the Burnett's, we worked and played!! We had already picked the green beans so Mrs. Burnett helped me snap the beans and I was able to can 24 quarts! Provision!! Bethany and the B girls made the pizza for lunch and it was soooo good! Micah and their Caleb did some work outside, alot accomplished and how fun to get it done with great friends!!

Thought you might like to see what our guys have been up to.....they built the house a month or so ago out of those ICF blocks and now they are putting up the trusses and today they are to begin sheeting the roof! A very big house, about 3600 sq.feet and and an unusual shape, like a "u." A lot of hard work but we are so grateful for the jobs the Lord continues to bring. The folks that they are building the house for provided the pictures and they are filling the guys up with home cooked breakfasts, lunch and supper and ice-creme!!!! Its a blessing to meet people along the way of these jobs. Plans had to change a bit, as they still needed to work through Saturday, so we miss them but are excited for the provision!! Last night we were so bored without them here, Bethany made a quick trip to town to get us a treat of ice-creme to cheer us up.

Pray for Marissa's family, she went to live with Jesus early this morning....you can see their story at www.caringbridge.org/visit/marissamonroe They are just starting a new journey!

I have a busy afternoon, I have to go pick up our beef, the steer we had butchered a few weeks ago, so now MORE MEAT!!!! I have to get Terry a Father's Day gift and run some other errands. As I said before, I know the girls will do a great job running the ship while I am away for the afternoon, a blessing at every age!!

In the morning, the Farmer's Market again, Bethany and Anna are planning on taking our produce since Terry will not be available. We have got to pick beans again tonight, but glad we have them to pick! Just alot of this and that stuff around here.

Oh....good news with the calf, Elijah came back this morning to pick the momma cow and him up at the vet and bring them home. The vet literally thought he was too far gone when we took him in but all things are possible with the Lord, even with a calf:)

Have a great Friday!!!!

Cindy