Friday, January 16, 2009
Two up, two down, we are on the upswing of sickness. I have not felt too great either, last night was a restless night, I just keep thinking of what we were doing with Joel at this time, I think I will always re-play it. That brings me to how I am feeling in my heart, its like being near the edge of the ocean and your standing there and you feel the waves billowing up and then they come crashing upon you and then in the next moment if you were by the ocean, what seemed enormous just went to a calm and rolled ever so gently back out to the place from whence it came. I feel just like that, a restlessness and peace, coming and going. The thoughts of our life two years ago and now here in a week trying to prepare to celebrate Hosanna's 7th birthday and Joel's heaven day all in one evening. I really want it to be in one day, its just separating the emotions and not letting the enemy engulf me with thoughts of, "why?, this is not right!, I should not have to try to figure out how to celebrate the death of my little boy." I know ......you say, we will celebrate his "life," and yes we will but he's not here, its not easy.....but with His grace we will. I am feeling a bit crummy as I write, so maybe in a bit I will shake it off. I know so many of you pray for me and I thank you for that, I guess just pray, and hopefully this will pass!!
Had a few errands to run today, now back here at the homefront and fixin' dinner. The little ones are playing some games, Mercy is taking a nap and I am going to go do my walking. Not much else around here, the guys are working away. Elijah went to a meeting and will go to a training to be a volunteer firefighter here in our area. I was teasing him and said this is what they will say," do not play with matches and you turn the water on here!" He likes adventures so this should suit him.
Josaih, my little man says he's hungry so better go boost his stomach since he has been under the weather.
Oh....the other thing we have been doing is........Nerf Guns......you have to doge em'