Friday, December 7, 2007

Cookie Cutters...

Today, sugar cookies... last year on this day, Joel had surgery in the morning to put in the port that would be used to give his chemo. I wish I could have my cookies and Joel too. Another one of those very hard things was placing Joel in the hands of a stranger (the Dr.) and to see him carry Joel through the doors to surgery. He and Josiah have never known any other care givers besides his parents and his older siblings. They had sedated him a little, so he was pretty drowsey. Terry and I just wept and wept while we waited. It seemed so long, but they finally called us back to the recovery. The nurse lifted him out of the baby bed and I held him in a rocking chair for a short while, we then went over for another scan and then back to the room. The rest afternoon was quiet and peaceful. The children came up later and he and Josiah enjoyed watching Moody Science Videos. Caleb and Daniel brought their instruments up and played for him. He started his first chemo that evening around 9:00 p.m. I do not know if the deep pain will ever go away... I feel like I am just enduring the day as I remember all of these events.

The children had a great time making cookies. Joel LOVED cutting out cookies too. I am trying to do fun things with them, but I feel like a "cripple" hobbling along.

Elijah's "PBR party" went great! The hamburgers were sooo good!!! It was a fun evening!!!

I found this very touching poem today, it helped my heart to think and be happy for Joel. May it bless you too as we need to focus on the Lord during Christmas.


Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless CHRISTMAS TREES around the world below with tiny lights like HEAVEN’S STARS reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so SPECTACULAR please wipe away that tear for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.
I hear the many CHRISTMAS SONGS that people hold so dear but the SOUND OF MUSIC can't compare with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here.
I have no words to tell you of the JOY their voices bring for it is beyond description to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.
I know HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME, I see the pain inside your heart for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.
I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR or the PEACE here in this place Can you just imagine CHRISTMAS WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face
I'll ask him to LIFT YOUR SPIRIT as I tell him of your love so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER as you lift your eyes above.
Please let your HEARTS BE JOYFUL and let your SPIRIT SING for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN and I’m walking WITH THE KING.
~ by Wanda Bencke

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Cindy, I love the poem. It ministers to my heart also as I miss my Dad. I know he is with Jesus but my heart hurts so for him and I miss him. I miss him for my children too~ I want Wes (4) to remember... now none of our children have a grandfather alive.. but in heaven.

I can not imagine your pain but I sit here and read and look at the pics and my heart hurts for you. I cry....

I am praying for you... for all of you.

May God continue to give you the strength you need DAILY~

Teena mom to 1/2 dozen