Thursday, January 17, 2008

There is a river......

There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High. Ps. 46:4

I have been hanging on to this verse for sometime, and as I read it again this week, it has soothed my heart. Maybe its the thought that only 6 more days with Joel this time last year. I feel like the wound has burst open again......but there is a river, and I just am trying to picture that river that comes from that Holy City, pure, fresh, giving life, hope, flowing freely to meet my wounded heart. I like to think about that city of God, where Joel resides, the holy place, where the Most High is. Such simple things have moved me to tears this week. Helping Josiah in the restroom and changing Mercy's diaper.....I guess the idea of taking care of their little bodies, how I can't take care of Joel's little body anymore. Remembering his little brown birthmark on his left shoulder, his frame always a little smaller than Josiah, his body that I bathed, dressed, touched, carressed and cared for......when I look at pictures of his sweet little hands and feet that we took, they were different than Josiah. I miss him! But there is a river......Joel is in that city of God, I have to keep moving forward to get to that city..... I guess I feel a little bit like a knot in my stomach as the day approaches and it is Hosanna's birthaday too. I know there will be grace for the time. This week I recieved a very touching letter from friends that recently saw Joel's Journey, it was encouraging and one statement seemed so profound to me, "the family is the greatest gift on earth God gives us apart from Himself. It's easy to see why our Heavenly Father wanted a family of his very own, and a Bride for his Son." I was just touched with the thought that the Lord granted Joel to be apart of his family in eternity.

We have had a guest in our home this week, Danielle(19) We met her through Joel's Journey and the Burnett's. Her mom died of brain cancer Jan. 5, 2007. She too knows sorrow. It has been a fun week and the littles have really enjoyed her, and they will be wondering when she is coming back as she has graciously been doing their chores:)

I have a special prayer request, remember Jeremy who cooked the delicious meal for us when the power was out, they have a new baby, about 4 months, a little girl, Remy. They have just found out she has a tumor behind her left eye. She has had a MRI and a CAT scan scheduled for Tuesday at 1:oo. Please pray for this young couple and their precious baby. I will keep you posted. They were so faithful to pray for us with Joel, I wanted to share this with you as we help carry each others burdens.

I would like to continue to ask if you are willing to give a review of Joel's Journey with the CBD (Christian Book Distr.) Thank you for those that have, your support has been so touching and we are grateful for your investing in our family in this way. Click Here.

It seems once you have entered the journey of suffering through a child's death, you come across so many more on the same journey.... so many little children that have left their mothers and fathers arms and have entered his kingdom, "suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. There are many that I am praying for that have battled this dreadful disease of cancer and lost.....but have really won. I had no idea before Joel's situation that so many are hurting. I guess our trial has opened my eyes to others and can now "feel" the pain with them. It is through much tribulation that we enter the kingdom and it is given unto us to suffer isn't it? May the Lord grant grace to these whose hearts are broken too.

I have said many times, we are so thankful for your encouraging words.....they continue to carry us through this trial. May the Lord recompense your reward from that "river" that never empties of its vast supply!


1 comment:

Emma R. said...

Hang in there Cindy. Sorrow is a powerful thing but remember your love for God and your family is even more powerful. May that love guide you and help you through the next few days.

Thinking of you always