a new sweater !

Mercy
a big 4 1/2 !!

Mercy wanted to show you
her new
sweater!!!
doesn't it look so
"fall?"

Happy Fall to All!!! Its here, and its cool here! I am missing my 100 degree weather, I don't think I will see it til next summer though :( I am already wearing a jacket in the house, window units are off, windows open, pumpkins, hay bales, corn stalks are all standing/laying proudly in our house but I am still a summer person! I am a flip-flop person! I was trying to strain a few more rays from the sun while ago, and sitting right in the sun was so nice........... and hot!!

I read a scripture over a week ago, and it has been on my heart for sometime but it has been so busy, I have not had time to sit here. I find myself writing about the last 3 years and the grieving journey often and I am not necessarily done writing about that but there are other areas of my life that need work, chiseling, re-done, and any other word that would describe "help!" We all need "help" don't we? The things I wanna do, I don't and the things I don't wanna do, I seem to do! There is this 3 letter word that I want in my life.....do you know what it is??? JOY! I think I have had it for moments, maybe even a day or so, but it is not a consistent attribute in my life. I have had joy about Joel and in this journey of grieivieng as I embrace scriptures that the Lord has given me and it is so peaceful and anticipating, but I have to exercise my mind to stay there. But what I really want to dwell upon is how I want to have "joy" at all times. Happiness tends to make think of ones circumstances and lost people can be happy. Joy is something from within. It is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Notice its a fruit, that means stuff has to take place before its ripe so to speak. I guess this scripture that I read is an eye opener of how to get this "unction" in me. I don't doubt there are many other scriptures that would offer direction but this one verse is one that leaped out as how to let "joy" spring up in me. And let me make this clear, I am writing all this as a plea, as I don't have this down, as this is what I need help in, so don't go thinking I am writing from "experience," I am writing as a confession that I need God's work to make this happen in my life! I tend to fall in the "happy" category" more often than the joy one. A new chair makes me happy, a new kitchen appliance makes me happy, the house clean makes me happy, when schedules go smooth it makes me happy and so on but what if I don't get a new kitchen, or another new couch to replace the old one, or a new dishwasher to replace the broke one or the house is a mess, I want to have something that will lift my heart out of the drudge because of the desires not getting fulfilled like I expected so that is where I see I need this fruit of the Spirit in my life. The scripture I read is Isaiah 12:3, Therefore with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. As I have been thinking upon this, I think one way for me to apply and receive the fruit of joy, is to draw it from the wells of salvation! The word water means grace, so in thinking of the different fruits of the Spirit, they are all "graces" imparted to us by the Holy Spirit. The well of salvation is so deep, so rich, so fulfilling, it is meditating upon Who He is, what he has done, the price, the pain, the sacrifice. It will be an exercise of enveloping my thoughts upon Him instead of me, instead of circumstances, instead of things. The well of salvation will fulfill any longing. One more mature with the Word than me could surely come up with more but this verse was just a verse for me and it spoke to my heart of my need for joy and how I might get it. In Him!

Here's a little rendition of the love chapter in Corinthians "if you have not joy ye are nothing."

if i have a new kitchen, yet not joy, I am nothing
if i have a new appliance, yet not joy, i am a complainer still
if i have a clean house, yet not joy, i am not fun to be around
if i have a new chair, yet not joy, then i show ungratefulness
to my husband
if i have 13 children, yet not joy, then i am not a godly example
if i have "things", yet not joy, then the "things" become
a list to check off and get
if i have not joy then i am not walking in His Spirit.....(ouch)

Lord.......how I need Thee!!!

Well, we got another busy week, do we ever not have busy weeks??? Today Bethany is purchasing/picking up a semen tank so she can breed her does with a straw and get incredible goats! Major, huh? You'll have to ask her bout all that, way beyond me!!!!! Tomorrow Anna has dentist stuff, Thursday thru Saturday several are heading to the Tulsa State Dairy Show, Friday some of us might go to a football game, ( I'll let you know Natalie :) also some company over the weekend. Lets see on Wednesday, there was nothing..........yippeee!!!!

Hope you all have a great Monday and stay warm......or maybe that comment is only for me!!


Big news for Josiah......his first bottom tooth is loose! I wonder if Joel's would have been loose too??

Caleb's stem wall up!

Over the weekend, Caleb and Daniel got their stem walls up! These pictures are of Caleb's, they did his first and I left before they got Daniel's finished so I don't have a picture of his yet. They are both building with the ICF, insulated concrete forms. Both of their houses will have 2nd stories, Daniel's will have a loft that will have two bedrooms and a bath upstairs. They have some really cool plans all created by themselves. Each phase they get to do is very exciting! To think that two young men can build their own homes debt free in 2010 is a huge blessing from the Lord, well it likely won't be finished in 2010 but the project in general. I hope it encourages others to seek to be debt free as well. In our almost 24 years of marriage, God has provided what we needed and way more than that, He has fulfilled desires over and beyond our needs!!!

Hopefully this coming weekend, they want to get the concrete poured in the stems and the next phase after that is to get all their plumbing in place and they will be ready for the foundation!

How's everyone on this Monday???

anna is 18 !!!!

Happy Birthday to Anna!!!
18 today!!!!

Thank you Anna for serving our family!!
Thank you for all tons of laundry you have done since you were 6 years old!!
Thank you for all the pounds of desserts you have made !!!!
Thank you for all the breakfast's you have made!!!
Thank you for the "love" you show all your younger siblings!!
Thank you for "protecting" your brothers :)
Thank you for letting me use your car!
Thank you for being a beautiful daughter inside and out!!
Thank you for seeking the Lord each morning!!

A =amazing
N= night owl :)

N=number 5
A= awesome volley ball player

Happy Birthday dear daughter!!! Love ya, cowgirl!!!

footings poured!!

Caleb

Daniel

The guys are moving forward!!! They both poured the footings to their houses!!! I am so "proud" of them!! Daniel's plans are more rustic and Caleb's plans are literally castle style with two turrets going up!!! So as the Lord provides as they are seeking to do this debt free, the building will continue. They might set up the stem wall over the weekend. The amazing thing is through all the experience they have had in construction, they can build it themselves so no labor fee's :)!!!!!! Oh, and I just had to give them a "blessing" on the concrete, even they do not know the "who" I guess we could call it "pre-love" because they are praying!!!!

7 words!

front of Daniel's land

Daniel's house site, the open area back in there!

Daniel

Caleb

Caleb on his site

Caleb

I have seven words............"He is not here, but is risen!" I know we all have favorite verses, but do you have some favorite "words or phrase" from the scriptures? The whole foundation to my faith is in these 7 words, my whole hope in this journey of grief lies upon these 7 words! Jesus is ALIVE! He has conquered death, hell, and sin! Joel is alive with Jesus! Whatever our "lot" here on earth, it is only a moment in comparison to our eternity! I have to keep this before me, may you too!

Today......OKS State Fair Dairy Show!!! Praying Bethany does well and the Lord will give favor! Also it just a plain fun good time with family and friends! Mercy is super excited!! Heading out here in a bit after we get some morning things done.

Major events happening out at the guys land!! Plans are drawn up, trees cleared and now the "footings" are gonna be dug!! For sure Daniel is diggin' his today, Caleb is very close, but still squaring away some details to his plans!!! A big day in their lives! The first step to laying the foundation of their own homes! So much spiritual implication as they go forth......build upon the Lord God all your days!

Have a great day!!!!

can you believe this??????

You are not going to believe this............... Daniel jumped out of a plane today!!!! He went skydiving!!! He did a tandem jump with a guy that knows what hes doing!!!! I have no idea why he wanted to do this but it really was exciting to watch!!!! I think I might wanna try!!! I told the children to pay for my jump and I would!! LOL!!! Well, enjoy the pictures!

Gotta a busy week, Bethany is showing at the OKC State Fair, so we look forward to that and all that entails the fair!!!!

I have not talked to yall in awhile!!!!!

I have not talked to yall in awhile!!!!

Thank you if you were praying for Jaynee Lockwood, she is somewhat better and seems to be stable. You can keep up with them on the link in the post below this one, I know they would be so grateful!!

We are giving school a shot this week, I wish I never had to start but I must be a law abiding citizen and more than that obey the scriptures in teaching and training and admonishing these children that are such a blessing! At least the school group is shrinking as some are finished!! So we have 6 this year officially in school! Anna and Bethany are math tutors to Micah and Andrew! Its going as well as it could I guess!

The guys are super busy. They are divided up in two locations. Daniel, Elijah and Billy have been somewhere towards Fort Smith area building a house. They hoped to finish the Build Block wall and pour concrete in them today. They have had the hotel, eating out experience all week!! Terry and Caleb and the other Ada crew are working on the school building still! Still a ways before completion. Thankful for work, thankful for safety, thankful for good workers!

I took on a big project as I love doing! The ceiling is all done, stained and looks beautiful! I now have been painting the gables in the area, and the walls by the french doors. The north wall will have all cabinets, so I am not painting it. I also had this idea of doing something with thefloor. It is concrete and eventually we want to do large tile but that could be awhile. Soooooo I had the idea of painting the floor and wow.....I love it!!!! It is a dark brown which adds to the rustic/western look. I don't know how long it will look great but it is way better than looking at concrete!!! Even if it gets scratched up, it will add to the rustic look! :) Next is the cabinets. I have one guy doing a bid and I hope to get at least one more. It is a bit hard because there is the set plan and wall space that had to be. I can hardly wait to get the 8 foot island with a bar for 4 stools on one side of it. That will be our main work area. Still slow, but its fun to plan and do as we can! We are so blessed to have the extra space!!!

Big week next week! The Oklahoma State Fair. Bethany is so busy preparing and trimming goats! Praying for favor as she shows. Then in another week or so the Tulsa State Fair. I think October will be a bit slower pace.....I hope!

The guys are working for the next several Saturdays to make up for being off for the shows. It will be good to all be together at the fair.

Billy, Daniel, and Elijah said they were having a blast wherever they are! I do not know the town! I guess it proves they can survive without their mom! But Elijah did tell me he missed us last night! :)

Well better go get the grill ready for some some chicken to eat on our salads tonight or rather me to eat on my salad!!!!

Keep praying for Jaynee.......

prayer needed!!

Please pray for a very dear friend, Jaynee, a wife, a mother to 12 precious blessings, they are a missionary family to Mexico....the Lockwood family! You can read about their situation here!

Joel and Josiah's birthday!!!!!

Seven years ago, September 13th 2003, our second set of twin little boys were born!!! Joel Caleb and Josiah Daniel! What a privilege to be able to birth them at home with 3 midwives, my husband and dear friend, Cheryl. I guess this has to be one of the most spiritual heights in my christian journey. An experience of much anticipation and many answers to prayer for this to take place in our home. A lot of scripture written, read, prayed to get me through what many thought was a bit dangerous, of having twins at home. But God did it!! Gave us two healthy boys without any complications. Little knowing that 3 years, 4 months and 10 days later I would be walking in the deepest valleys of my life, Joel's departure to be with the Lord. I will say as God was so faithful to bring them in this world He has been faithful as He has carried Joel out of this world. Very tough, many tears, a broken heart but I praise Him, I thank Him, I know Him, and I still miss him! So today, I remember the good gifts from above, the birth of Joel and Josiah and I will tell the Lord "thank you" for 3 years, 4 months and 10 days with Joel and "thank you" for seven years with Josiah and "also "thank you" that because of Christs victory over death I will have eternity to be with both of them!!

Since the guys work schedule was hindering a party for today, we had Josiah's BD party on Saturday! He picked out the theme a long time ago after we watched the "Up" movie. He had an Up/Explorer Party! I thought it was a great idea because it brought Joel into the picture as well. Since Joel is "Up" ( with Jesus) and because Josiah is still here "Exploring," it was perfect!! I did not do alot for the party but it was fun, and with 50 balloons, you can't go wrong!!!!!!!! Of course Josaih wanted hamburgers, hotdogs, cokes and chips. Cupcakes were top choice and a few sugar cookies equaled one happy explorer. We dressed him up like Russell in the movie, yellow shirt. brown shorts, orange bandanna, and a sash with some important badges on it. A flag, because Josiah is very patriotic, he likes to shoot fireworks, a football and basketball because he is a pro, a number 14, because he is still 'exploring' this world with 14 people (Troop #14) and a cross because he asked Jesus into his heart this year!! After presents, which he got way toooo many, and Mercy opening Joel's present, one of the Willow Tree figurines of a little boy that looked about 7 years old, and our wonderful meal, we set out to let the balloons go "up" to Joel.........all 50 of them! A great time......very blessed and everyone made it to the party, even though they drove up (some of them) at say 5:59! :)

I am off to get Josiah's requested cinnamon rolls from the doughnut factory!

Happy Birthday Joel! I miss you!

Happy Birthday Josiah! I am blessed by you being here!