Alot of Birthdays!!

Six birthdays in four weeks... we will keep the donut man in business!!! It is our tradition that the birthday person gets donuts, so the whole family benefits!!! Caleb and Daniel had their 20th birthday on the 26th(They had a 20\20 vision party for Jesus, because they are both 20) and Micah will be 13 on the 30th. September 13th is Joel and Josiah's 4th birthday and Anna's is the 24th. We get a break til Dec. It is hard to believe Caleb and Daniel are 20. The Lord has brought great joy to my heart to see his grace in their lives. When I think of their childhood years, how they were constantly side by side and the fun they had, I miss that for Josiah. Somebody the same size to have adventures with. Caleb and Daniel have many similarities yet they are so uniquely different. The Lord has blessed them with amazing musical abilities, skills in carpentry, concrete work, framing houses, and when there is time they enjoy getting out in their studio. At this time they are, along with their dad and Elijah, building a house for a neighbor and dear friends. My daily prayer for them is that the Lord would give them victory over sin, they would have humble hearts and they would seek to grow in grace and knowledge of the truth and walk in it. They are a blessing to their siblings too. I know each of you can share wonderful joys of your children as well. They are rewards from the Lord and may the Lord bring forth a heritage of faith through the loins of each of our children till the appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ!!

There is not any change with my physical situation. At this point we will just wait. It will be 3 weeks on Thursday. I feel comfortable waiting another week anyway. The midwife said we might consider doing another ultrasound, because there is the possibility that my body could have absorbed what was left. I certainly do not desire my womb to be scraped and suctioned out. May the Lord have mercy to allow my body to work in the wonderful and fearful way that he made it to. Thank you for your dear prayers and the thoughts through the e-mails you have sent. My heart feels strength through your prayers. I read this scripture in Is.54:1,

Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; breakforth into singing, and cry aloud,
thou that didst not travil with child:
I am trying to sing in my heart and sing hymns to the Lord. My mouth is doing it but my heart is somewhat behind.

I read this in Is. 43;7 this morning, Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him. This is how this spoke to my heart; "created him" gave me the idea of before the womb, Joel was in God's thoughts, his mind, his plan even before he was, "formed him" made me think of in the womb, how the Lord knit Joel together, put every cell in place, arranged all his intermost parts; and " made him", brought me to think of how the Lord allowed us to behold what he had made once he was outside the womb. And so it is with all of our children that he created, formed and made them. I know I have to keep going back to truths like this, because the enemy tries to bring my mind to think that God dosen't know, dosen't care and to blame the Lord for not making things turn out differently. The Lord did know, he had a plan for Joel's life, and the Lord has won the VICTORY!!!!!

May the Lord shine ever so brightly on your households!!!!!

~Cindy

Unexpected Blessing!!

Josiah riding a horse at our neighbors house

Yesterday I mentioned how I needed prayer for strength of spirit... and to those that might have prayed specifically for that, God answered that prayer today! This morning I asked the Lord that he might show me Himself today. To be honest my heart was in despair. It seems heaven is silent and I was wondering where He was. I know somewhere through all this that God never changes, its the poor creature (ME) that is in my mire of doubt, lack of faith,ect. I made a quick trip to Wal Mart this afternoon with 5 of the children. We wandered our way through and got 5 items, 2 items being floor fans.(it was going to be around $70.00) We checked out at the garden area, not many people. A middle-age lady came up behind us with one item. We smiled. Our basket was ahead of us, she asked "are the fans for ya'll", I said yes. She then said "why don't you let me get those for you. I said that would be a blessing to our family. She then told the children to get them a drink and mom one too. She said she felt a stong feeling to do this. I told her thank you for obeying the prompting of the Lord and isn't it wonderful how the Lord brings people across our path. We finished up, I gave her a hug and we left. That was for ME!!!! I needed that presence of the Lord today. So much to meditate on, God's providence of timing, a need being met, but more than that, an affirmation to my heart that the Lord is real, he cares, and just an encouragement to my weak faith. Thank you Lord for the manna today! I wanted to share that and give God the glory!!!!!!

As the Lord brings our situation to your heart, keep praying, we are still waiting for progress to start. The midwife did say it could take several days to get my body going. May the Lord have mercy to use these means if he is willing.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!
~Cindy

PEEP PEEP!!!!!!!!!

Just a quick update on the progression of the miscarriage. So far nothing has happened, so I saw my midwife today and she gave me some herbs to try. Our prayer is the Lord would use these means to cleanse my womb. I have to say that I feel like a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least. I am trying to stay focused but I am certainly struggling. I know many have endured greater trials than ours and the trying of their faith worked patience and patience had her perfect work and were more entire, wanting nothing like James talks about. I feel so weak in faith. Prayers for my body are a great need, but prayers for strength of spirit is even greater. Thank you for going before the throne on our behalf.

On a fun note, we just got a shippment of baby chickens...175 little peepers. 125 are broilers that we will Lord willing butcher around the second week of October. 50 are layers. They are in a brooder pen for about 3 weeks and then to the pasture in movable pens for the duration til their departure to the chopping block. I guess if anyone lives near enough and would like "REAL CHICKEN", you could e-mail us and put your order in. All the adventures on the farm are fun for the children, but alot of work. I commend them for their diligence in their work and chores!!!!!

I wish somehow I could meet all of you. I know we will someday and that will be a sweet fellowship. Words cannot express our gratefulness to you. Thank you from our hearts!!!

The DVD once again had some setbacks, the editors hard drive died and he had to order another one. He has got that in and the finishing touches are underway. I am so anxious to get this to you. Our prayer is that the Lord would be honored and Joel's little life would be a testimony of how precious life is. I can't wait to see all the dark providences unveiled in eternity. There will be no tears as we view the providences but only praise and glory to the Lord. May the Lord give me grace to rejoice and be thankful now for all his dealings with us. I think about him so much, sometimes I feel like I am frozen in memories and I find myself not very motivated to go on in all the daily "stuff" of motherhood and wifehood. O how I need him every hour, moment!!!!! We will keep you posted on the DVD. Soon I hope!!!!!!!

You are so special to our family!!!!!
~Cindy

The pictures of Joel and Josiah were taken in August last year

Treasures in Heaven

Our family has some disappointing news to share. Last Thursday I started showing some signs of possible miscarriage. Whenever I have had bleeding in the past it has resulted in a miscarriage.We have had two previous ones about 12 and 9 years ago. This one seems to be alot slower in progression. I saw our midwife yesterday and no heart beat was detected. She suggested getting an ultrasound, so I did that today. The ultrasound showed a gestational sack with a possible fetal pole (Barbara, the technician stated this) that measured 5 to 6 weeks. So the baby did not develope any further. At least now we know how to make our request known. Our prayer is that the Lord would expel everthing naturally. The midwife suggested waiting a week and drinking Red Rasberrry Tea. I really feel good besides some tiredness, and my heart is sad, but I am seeking to trust the Lord's ways. Thank you for your prayers I know you will offer up on our behalf. May the Lord bless you for being a blessing to our family.
I wonder what Joel thinks of his new brother or sister?

~Cindy

Remembering Last Year...

Remember all the cowboy hat pictures of Joel and Josiah? Last year August 5th was when they got their first hats. Joel called his, "his cow hat." By their birthday in September they began to look all worn. We got our money's worth! Memories....I guess being the Mom, all the dates are remembered. I hope the Lord has a big supply of bottles for all my tears. I want to become like David, "Thou didst fast and weep for the child while it was alive, but when the child was dead thou didst arise up and eat bread." He answered. "While the child was yet alive I fasted and wept: for I said who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." I seem to be as Rachel, "in Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation and weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and would not be comforted, because they are not." By faith in God's time and grace I suppose my heart shall move forward. Just pray!

Farm news...the Boer goat herd has expanded. Bethany, Terry and some of the other children went to a goat sale in Stillwater. Four different breeders had put together some really nice goats. They were able to get a buck and four does. Very nice stock with great bloodlines. These are show quality so Bethany, Andrew and we'll see who else plan on possibly showing these at a Tulsa show and one in Ada. So if it all works out we might be "on the road!"

Josiah still has sweet talks of "Balley." He was getting a bath one night and he said "Balley always sat in the front." I told him I hoped he would always remember him, and asked him if he would. He said "yes he would." I'm always trying to see Joel beside him and wonder what it would be like now 6 months later. It is amazing how much "Siah" has grown. I put his little hand and foot on Joel's imprint they did at the hospital on the 23rd. Josiah has sure "sprouted."

I've got to get motivated to figure out our school plans for the year. Last year we started out well and even had school when Joel had his fevers in October, we had no idea there was a problem. By November school was out and we were dealing with the situation. So, I really need to make up for lost time. Joel's little school folder with his little project is still there! I must go forward for the sake of the other children, Just pray!

I pray your ears don't get tired of my sorrow...my Mommy heart is still struggling. I know there is hope...I read in Revalation 1:18 "I am he that liveth and was dead, and behold I am alive for evermore amen and have the keys of hell and death."

Blessings to everyone,

~Cindy