Pray for Mom...

Hello Everybody,
We would really appriciate you prayers right now...yesterday Mom got a bladder infection. She is really in a lot of pain. We'll keep you updated...and she'll post later about Andrew's birthday.

Joel's Spring

Joel’s Spring

The smell of spring is in the air
Memories of yester year I will not spare

Creaking, Cracking of the swing
Side by side soaring as with wing

One leg in the other two
Ready for farm work with dad to do

Dad’s a tilling, seeds in hand
To await bursting ground of fruit to span

Blue skies, sunsets and family fun
Homemade ice-cream by the ton

New shorts and shirts for heated days
Barefoot toes on red dirt clay

“Siah” your twin, your buddy close
Partners playing sunup to sunset almost

Now...little empty boots that held your feet
Folded shirt on the shelf so neat

Today...I’m going to walk to your grave
Thoughts in my heart of you to save

My heart hurts thinking your body so cold
Unto the resurrection, eyes of faith must hold

So many flowers were buried in your ground
Oh! I hope I’m there when the trumpet sounds

Looking forward daffodils to bloom
Will remind me of “life” yet soon

A seed must fall and cease to live
Then fruit it brings to others give

Enjoy your spring in heaven above
Just sending you a bouquet of Mommy’s love

The first day of spring.....Joel and Josiah loved the warm weather. I remember going to Babys R Us to get these and some other little outfits for them in Feb.06. They were eagerly awaiting for a warm day to wear them. Most mornings they started out with the same clothes on, but by the end of the day they did not match due to dirt or something! What fun getting to pick out two of everything! To think this was Joel's last spring....we knew not the road ahead, but the Lord knew, he was already there for us, who could endure such trials without him! For Him I am ever so thankful.

May the Lord give you a "Happy Spring" as well......

Cindy

Mercy is 2 !!

Our sweet little Mercy is 2 today!!! Her day started with .....Birthday Donuts! Terry and the boys were here till the afternoon so we went with celebrating this morning and having her birthday meal at lunch. After her donuts I went to get her Birthday dress on and she did not want any part of the "swishy, crunchy" dress that I got her, so we went to plan "B" and put on a "sweet" party dress which she was happy with. I ask the children, of all the 2nd birthdays who really cooperated and took pictures nicely at the table?? Mercy was struggling somewhat, until we got to the present time, then she loosened up and began enjoying it. She was happy to get a new baby stroller and a birthday baby, 3 new dresses and I found a really cute picture frame for her 2nd year picture that has bunnies on it. Her Bunny Birthday Party was easy decorating as I took advantage of all that is on the shelves at the stores right now. We have always sought to put all the emphasis on the Resurrection, so Jeremiah being so innoculated from all the hoopla of "Easter" ask (because I had eggs and rabbits for decorations) "do rabbits lay eggs?" and Josiah in his 4 year old wisdom informed him," NO RABBITS DO NOT LAY EGGS." Anna helped with the Rabbit cake, and the Rabbit sugar cookies, and we had a favorite meal of Mercy's, spagetti and a salad that even had some of our own fresh spinach in it. We also made Bunny Bread and put vegatable dip in his belly with carrot sticks. So all that was easy and fun!! After lunch we went outside to have an "egg hunt." I filled 150 plastic eggs with mini candy. Anna and I hid them in fairly easy places, I was not going to take the time to hide eggs for hours! The little ones had some baskets and off they went....I had to limit the older ones so the younger ones would be sure to get some. After our "sweet" little egg hunt, it then turned into a war zone of throwing empty eggs at each other....who could have thought of such......none other than the older ones!! Oh well, thats boy stuff!!! Mercy has now layed down for a nap and we'll have to eat cake later as they are full of "junk."

Two years ago.....the memories are so vivid, it was my longest labor but the Lord granted her to arrive into our arms safely, which we were so grateful as her cord was around her neck and short. My sweet little Joel, after getting back from our neighbors,(all the children) pushed his way through all the legs and wanted a first hand look at this new little member of our family, His expression of delight is etched in my memory. He had no fears of holding her as Josiah was so timid and said he was "scared." Joel was fasinated with this "little, moving treasure." He only carried out his first born traits as being a leader and wanting to see. I guess he got to demonstrate that trait as he has entered heaven first, a leader. It is a day of mixed emotions, of joy for the blessing of Mercy and at the same time heartache as I wish we could all be together. I suppose there will never be anything that does not remind us of Joel. So today I rejoice and grieve at the same time.

Its been a fun day for Mercy and a blessing to be together and celebrate!!! Coming soon....Andrews 12th BD on Friday!!

Cindy

Everthing is OK

I had a friend call me today to see if everything is ok. I guess since I have not posted in a little bit she was wondering. I was happily surprised with her care. I too told her, sometimes I wonder if folks get tired of hearing about my grieving phases, but that is where I am right now. I am going forward as I mentioned, seeking to enjoy my husband, my children, my life even in the midst of grieving my little Joel. I am grieving, but not without hope, I cry, I miss him and I do not put myself on a time table or am concerned about how a book might say how long it will take, from my perspective you do not ever get over this, you just learn to live with it, seeking to trust and rest in the Lord that he has and is working all this for my good and his glory. To be honest I do not see much good that has happened, I can't think of anything that would be worth my Joel not being here, yet that is where the unseen comes in, and believe me "it ain't easy!!!!" I am the type that likes to SEE things happening, Terry will vouch for that. Like I said before, it is a constant battle of the knowing and feeling. Nobody could ever convince me that a physical exercise could be harder than spiritual exercise, seeing that we are dealing with principalities, powers and a ground that Satan can easily entangle us, our THOUGHTS! Sometimes I feel so tired in my mind. Over and over images of Joel are before me, of his birth, his happy 3 years, and then his trial. I have to force my thoughts to stay upon the happy times otherwise I get really down and if I find myself there, the only deliverence is in the scriptures. I read a scripture in Ps 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though the waters therefore roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.Selah. Here is the truth that I must stay upon, he is my refuge, my strength and he is present while I am in my troubles. Form the next two verses it sounds like all the "ifs, and, buts" are coverd as to the type of troubles that we might have to go through and anything that is in between. Joel has been removed from our care, this seems like a mountain of a trial, my heart is roaring of pain, our lives have been shaken, it just seems sometimes the swelling of heart ache is going to explode, yet the Lord says he is with me! I go forward in that truth.


As to stuff around here, we are just getting ready for "parties." Mercy's is tomorrow (19th) She is having a Bunny Party. I hope to post tomorrow about her little day. She is singing "happy birthday to me." I do not think she understands it all but its fun for us!!! Then Andrew's on Friday, whew, this is going to be his big one, 12 years old, a young man!! (according to the scriptures) I plan on grocery shopping Thursday so I can have Friday to plan and set up outside for the evening. We'll let you peek at our fun for that!!!!


Rain has held up some work\jobs for the guys but they have accomplished alot around here. Clean up and things outside. Not long tilll we will eat our spinach. Terry brought in a few green onions last night and passed them out. Yummy fresh stuf coming, Lord willing!!


Hosanna lost her first top tooth this week, she looks so sweet. Daniel got contacts, so he is doing well with the adjustment. Caleb already had contacts. I love my glasses so I will stick with "em."


So as you hear, not much happening around here.... Just doing stuff like you do everyday. May the Lord bless you and until next time......Rejoice, for its a day the Lord has made!!!

Cindy

A Diet of Tears...

Psalm 42:3 My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, where is thy God?

That is exactly what it seems like many days....that my tears are all that I feed upon, my "diet." Tears are a blessing from the Lord. I can not imagine have this welling up within and not a way to release the pain, the moans, and the depth of hurt that a heart can feel. It is just waves that come, you do not always know when they will hit, and it is usually little short moments. I do think I am moving forward, but I can hardly see in my own mind where there would not be tears. I was thinking of some of the different ways tears are good for us and it just gave me an avenue to meditate upon. I certainly did not exhaust the ways, but I was thankful to see how useful they are...

Tears...

...can keep us broken before the Lord

...keep me utterly dependant upon the Lord

...do not spoil, God keeps them in a bottle

...they allow me to release the grieving, pain and hurt

...they can be cleansing to the heart that repents

... an outward sign of rejoicing

...can help you to show compassion to others

...they demonstrate to others how much they mean to us (Luke &:38)

...they are used in serving (Acts 20:19)

...they help share burdens (2 Cor. 2:4)

...they move God to answer prayer ( Is.38:5)

....we only have the opportunity to have them here, because there will be none in eternity!!!

As time goes, maybe my tears for Joel will become less selfish, I am thankful that he is with the Lord, and that he does not have to endure the ways of this world, but for now my tears are possibly more for me, I miss him, I want to take care of him, I miss him for Siah. The Lord brought a thought to my mind of the scripture that speaks of how he will not give us more than we can bear.... I will say that is so true as I thoughtof so many children that are diagnosed with NB, some young, 6 months, 9 months or two years old, they fight this monster for 2 to 3 years, maybe have several relapses only to come to the same end as did Joel. Surgery after surgery, sometimes traveling to other states for treatments, being away from family for weeks maybe months, so many other parents are enduring more, they are so strong.......he gave me what I, we, could bare, no more, no less. I am grateful for his mercy to us. That is not to say that I would not have wanted to do that with Joel, but he gave us the "lot" he saw best.

The guys were around here a few days as they were in between jobs.....major garden and pasture work. Terry and all of his "little" helpers were on the front lines. He purchased 50# of seed potatoes and we got the eyes all cut out and in the ground they went, but not without a blessing, I told Hosanna to tell them "eyes up and look up to God and grow." Lets see, they planted around 20 broccoli plants, sugar snap peas and some more onions. Next will be corn April 1 and then green beans. Terry is so good with all that, I am thankful for his hard work!!!

The pasture work was Elijah's project.... he is preparing it for near future sprigging and fertilizing. He, Caleb and Daniel rented a Bobcat to clear all the huge piles that they bulldozed last summer, burned this winter and the left overs needed to be picked up. They have picked them up and put them over in a secluded area in the pasture, they said it will just grow up and look like a "mountain." Machines and work equal Elijah Morris. I think he did share the bobcat with Caleb and Daniel, so they put the finishing touch on the project. What a blessing we acknowledge to the Lord for allowing us to live out here and have the opportunity to work with all the children!!

As I talked once again to the dear mother of the family I mentioned awhile back and they are experiencing marriage difficulties after being married for 25 + years. I just want to say publicly how grateful I am to Terry for literally loving me like Christ loves the church. I think there are many words to describe that, but the ones that are before me now are unconditionaly and sacrificially. I have many areas that are under construction, yet Terry demonstrates that love to me. My prayer for all our boys is that they would certainly follow their dad in this example. I am so thankful for Terry and our family, as this morning I heard a voice of a broken hearted mother and wife desiring God to do a miracle in her own life and in the hearts of each one in their family. May it be so in Jesus name!!!!

Well its Thursday and the Lord has been merciful to us all, thank you for being apart of our lives and I pray the Lord will allow us to be a blessing to you as you have been to us!!

Cindy