Name It !!!!

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What are these????? The first person to give the correct answer via comment will win a Joel's Journey DVD, and if your the winner and already have one, I guess you can share it with someone else. The Burnett's can not play........Post your answer by 10:00pm today, 10/9/08.

Cindy

Oct. 8, 2006

October 8, 2006 this picture was taken, it was a Sunday morning, ready for home church , it was at our house this particular Sunday, Joel looks so sweet and "Siah" too, but just looking at Joel's face....it is still so shocking that he was here and now he's not, he looks so good in this picture, healthy and so happy.....when I have a picture thats fits a day it is a sharp pain. Today, I really want to have him here....

The guys have been out of town, and we have been kinda bored actually, just doing regular stuff around here. Bethany took Duffy to the groomer this morning and later today she's going to the "groomer" herself to get her hair trimmed up. Anna, yes my daughter, has an adult/piano student that comes to our home, and she gives the lesson each week. It has been a blessing for Anna to be able to give back something that she is skilled in, so she did that last night. School work needs to get done, I want to work on Jeremiah's Creative Memory Book before the day is over, and of course we'll have to fix some dinner.....I don't really feel like doing that, this picture of Joel has me all down today..... We went to visit the Burnett's on Tuesday, had a nice visit with them. I do not feel like writing right now, hopefully I'll feel his grace and quickly get through this valley today.....

Oh, my Master, I need you today, I need my Joel today.....help me, Lord......

Cindy

Gardens, Crosses,and Graves...

If we know Christ as our Savior, we will have gardens, crosses and graves. These will all be avenues, paths, journeys with an ultimate desire and plan of the Father.....to be conformed to his image and for him to receive the glory in our lives. The lot is chosen by him, some will partake of the garden more than others, some will have heavier crosses and some will kneel on the soft ground of earth, the grave. For some we have experienced all three. When I think of the gardens, I am thinking of times of calmness, flourishing, maybe "smooth sailing," thinking of the crosses would be the every day things we face, health issues, concerns for the future, burdens, trials, persecutions etc. Graves would be those situations that bring a sorrow, deaths of loved ones, death of a vision, when all seems hopeless. As I read some scriptures this morning and found gardens, crosses and the graves, the Lord's presence was with each one, so whatever may befall, He is there!! The gardens... And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden;and there he put the man whom he had formed. Gen.2:7 The crosses.... And as they led him away, they laid hold upon one Simon, a Cyrenian, coming out of the country, and on him they laid the cross, that he might bear it after Jesus. Luke 23:26 The graves... Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it. John 11:38. I guess I am so grateful as I continue on that the Lord continues to speak and give me manna for my spirit and heart that He is here in the midst. I love the gardens yet if I had to say where I have been changed the most, it is at the grave. Even now the crosses do not seem as heavy, somehow through the grave the earthly shackles are loosened and eternity holds so much more. I read one more this morning, John 20:16, Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say Master. I put my name in the place of Mary's, He is personal, to meet me where I am, it is by his grace that I can turn to him in this dark hour, and to be able to call him Master, I am saying yes to his will, I am picturing myself kneeling before him and saying it is right and good. Sure, we all enjoy the gardens and even some of the crosses are not too difficult, but for me the grave has wrought the most significant work in my heart, may we all be able to say "Master," and trust his plans......

What are we up to????? We had a great time with the grandparents and they are off! The guys are working near Tupelo, Ok this week. A Build Block house job which we are grateful for the work, but so far away!!! Trying to get a normal week going, school and all. Oh, and the Goat chops were great, I baked them most of the day with a lot of seasonings and later put BBQ sauce on them and Terry especially raved about them. Everyone really liked them. They do not have much meat so I had to cook sooooo many. We do not eat pork hardly, but if comparing, they would be similar to those I guess.

The Tulsa Fair was so huge.....one of Bethany's classes had 70 goats in it!! Micah and Elijah were showing two of our bucks in a class of 39, the new buck and one that Bethany was considering selling, but Elijah did not make the cut with the new buck. Micah did with the other goat, we were so surprised, he placed 5th in a class of 39!!! We were very glad about that but shocked that the new buck did not get in the cut. Another show in two weeks....keep trying.

I really am striving to move forward in the grieving journey, but so many moments it just stares me in the face and takes my breath away like when we go places as a family.....someone is missing or when Terry introduces our family to another family that we have never met, and he goes through the line of naming all of them.....someone is missing, or I look at family pictures and Terry's knee is empty of that other little twin that would be sure to be there....someone is missing. It's a hurt that is there everyday, yes there is grace but the pain is there too. He is missed so deeply. I will keep saying "Master."

In Oct of 06, it was on the 7th, 8th or 9th that Joel had his first fever. I did not write it down, just a fever, who would have thought....my heart is heavy in remembering....

Cindy

To all the Mommys.......

I wanted to get here earlier but this is why I could not...... after my morning rising and reading the word, coffee and proceeding to get the day started, I helped get last minute things together for the first crew headed to Tulsa, gave some instruction to the children, took Rancho to the vet for a shot, stopped at the thrift shop, got a few things at the store, picked up feed at the feed place, got gas, picked up Rancho at the vet, arrived home, helped Anna fix lunch, clean lunch, my dad arrives, fixed our Sunday church meal, started making dinner preparations,( goat burritoes for my dad to try) folded some laundry, played with Mercy outside, took Bethany's buck to the vet to get health papers for Tulsa, cooked supper, made bread and hamburger buns for tomorrow, Terry arrived to pick up the goat, ate dinner, cleaned up dinner, went on my daily one mile fast walk and here I am!!!! And my dear Anna had a day too, she made a dessert for church, dessert for dinner tonight, and breakfast for in the morning. By the way, we do try to use sucanat and our ground wheat flour, I try to justify it don't I? Busy huh? Like Terry said as he drove off to go back to Tulsa, he said when they were all little we just stayed at home all together.....

For me this blog is a place I share my heart, I want to be transparent, honest, allowing you to see that I am of like passions as you, I get weary, I get physically tired, I cry, I hurt, I get frustrated and grieved with "things around here," plus I am sharing my grieving journey, the rollercoster ride, the victories, the defeats from the enemy, I enjoy sharing about our family and all that takes place around here. I want to be a light for Christ through this avenue. Through Joel's Journey I met a wonderful missionary family, they are expecting their 12th blessing and having morning sickness and they are younger than us. The mommy and I keep in touch via e-mail, I have asked her several times for specific prayer, I want to be an encouragement to her, she has encouraged me so much as well. She recently made a statement on her blog that some days she is tired, she has many little ones to teach, train, love, play with, talk to, listen to and some times the days are long. She was not complaining, she loves her job and would not change a thing, she was sharing her heart. She received a comment that was not very encouraging and with little sympathy and that she could not be effective if she were so run down, pregnant, and that they chose not to use birth control and her body is being abused. Now I want to take this opportunity to exhort you younger mothers with few or many little ones.....true it is work no doubt, but the rewards are exceedingly abundant. I remember the days of our first twins, did I even sleep?? Terry and I looked like zombies half the time, it was constant, but it was sooo fun too! Now when we had 6 children 7 and under it was very busy, I got tired quickly, I was the sole one taking care of them in the day time until Terry came home, all the daily stuff that had to be done, who wouldn't grow weary. By the time Jeremiah #9 arrived on the scene, ahhhhh....helpers everywhere.... now its getting better, I can actually have a moment to sit down.....and then Hosanna #10, the older ones can run the home.....Joel and Josiah, (11 and 12) arrive.....I can just take care of babies, they can do all the house stuff....and sweet Mercy #13, I am now in the reaping phase. Motherhood is so wonderful but it is work, long work, hard work, joyful work and I would not change one thing. I gave the illustration to my friend that bearing and nurturing children is as a garden. You must till, plant, water, pull weeds, hoe around the plants, more water, prune, you sweat, your back hurts form bending over, it is very hard work.
Terry has done all these things in his garden. Some of you are in the sowing/laboring phase and some are as I in the reaping/resting phase. Soon you will be reaping, do not grow weary, your reward is on the horizon. Your little ones will become bigger, you will have trained them, they will bear fruit from all you labors, your energy, your time and it will be profitable. Have fun with them, teach them along the way, you do not have to sit at "school tables" to learn, they will learn life with mom and dad along the way, in the kitchen, in the pasture, around the campfire. You will be tired, you will be bombarded with thoughts from the enemy but know, as you do it to the least of these you do it unto Christ, you are serving Him and you are being effective, your raising an army to go into the world to shine as lights and stars for the kingdom of Christ!! Keep up the "good works."
And if you get tired......take a nap!!! :)

We are enjoying the visit with my dad. Mercy is on her "paps" like glue!!! Terry said this goat show is going to be very tough, sooooo many goats there, biggest show yet. We'll just pray for favor and trust the rest with the Lord, He's in charge of goat shows too :) !!!!!!

Have a great weekend and Lord's day.....

Cindy

Following Him Because???

It's here....October.....this is where it all started for Joel's Journey in 06.....but we did not know what was ahead....we were just going about our normal everyday lives, a fever in a little boy for a few days, then he would go 100% and seemed all was perfect......but the fevers invariably kept coming, he grew more tired, his legs started hurting, more Dr. visits, more blood draws, tests and more tests and then the news that would be any parents nightmare....."your child has cancer, its at the worst stage." How can a cancer take over so quickly when in Sept. and prior, his little life was one of frolic and play and we were a family just like you. Always questions, but He says "my grace is sufficient," always wonderings, but He says "Do not fear," now always a sorrow, but He says "Be still and know that I am God." And a great multitude followed him, because they saw his miracles which he did on them that were diseased. (John 6:2) Thats a good question for all, we follow him because______, he healed my child, he has answered my prayers, he has blessed financially, he has done great signs and wonders.......but will we follow when he does not heal my child? when he does not answer my prayer? when he allows us to barely make ends meet? when I do not see "miracles?" I was following Him before all this happened with Joel, but if I were to paint a picture of it, I was walking tall and straight. I am still following Him, by His grace and the picture in mind would be as the woman reaching out in a desperate way to touch the hem of his garment, a begger desperate for his presence and power, shouting out, "Son of David, have mercy upon me." One saying, but Master, even the dogs eat of the crumbs." May we learn to follow him because we simply are in love with Him.

Today is our cleaning day and I think everyone has done their jobs. This months character quality is creativity and Anna wins the prize, (if I had one) for creativity.....did you see that picture? She has a major power wash going on in that tub!!!! Way to go Anna!!!! I 'll have to admit I am glad they did not get a picture of me when I saw what was taking place :0

The guys are soooo very busy which is great and answer to prayers! We are getting ready for my folks to come on Friday and the Tulsa Fair. A few have some coughs and congestion, hoping its minimal. I am cooking goat chops for our meal this evening and other sides to go with it....anxious to see how those taste!! I went grocery shopping yesterday, so thats out of the way before the company. I found Bethany a western purse at a re-sale store which I was so excited about, the new ones at the western stores are all $100 or more. It is brand new because there were still some tissue paper on the metal parts of it and it was around $18. I found Mercy two cute jackets, one to play in and another for church, an Old Navy bulky zip sweater with a hood, a cream color, so sweet at a children's re-sale store! I enjoy getting out on grocery day and I am grateful Bethany and Anna are more than capable of running the home....thanks ladies!!!

Following Him.....are you??

Cindy