Tuesday, April 14, 2015


We made lavender cupcakes with honey frosting today. They smell so aromatic. The smell Makes me think of a "place" that I would like to be. Soothing and calming. They say lavender is good for so many things. I use it often. Google and find out how you can use it. 

I wonder if life will ever be different? I wonder if any of my dreams will come true? I absolutely have no understanding of what my purpose is everyday. I swear all I do is clean house and cook. I don't necessarily mind those things, I just want to do  house projects. There are so many many broke things, I can't keep up the list. I'm griping I know. I lost something when Joel died. I lost the joy of living. I must make myself be grateful when so many have it far worse and their sufferings are much greater. Sometimes I can't figure out why so many people have to suffer and others don't. Some live their whole lives and never face anything. Right now, it seems like the Lord is far far away. And I know, it's not him, it's me. I must keep trusting and believing and hoping. I was suppose to be on a plane Friday, but plans changed, probably why I'm so down. 

Enough of that. there's too much in their to tell another person anyways. 

So onward with lavender cupcakes. They heal anything!


Karol Holmes said...

Dear sweet Cindy. I've been reading your blog for so long that I feel like I know you and your family. Right now I desperately wish that I could come to you and give you a warm hug and sit talking with a pot of coffee. Life has been hard. For you and for me. In different ways lately, but still hard just the same. And I've noticed that when we go through hard things, it makes the missing our little ones in heaven that much worse. I don't have answers for you but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. You are loved and cherished by many and that alone gives your life great purpose. I just finished posting on my own blog and then I came over and read what you have written and I wanted to share it with you. Love and prayers to you my friend.
http://karolholmes.blogspot.com/2015/04/hard-things.htmlhed posting

Ruth said...

Cindy, I LOVE your blog. I knew you a long time ago in elementary and middle school and loved you and your parents then. I knew Terry at Ouachita and I have had so much fun following your wonderful big family. I would have loved to have a big family like you. I think it's so neat. But, God knew I couldn't handle more than my 3 wonderful children. I think we are just going through a different stage of life than we have ever had. This parenting our adult children stage is HARD and no one has prepared us for that. You, like me were just made to be mommies. It was my dream in life. I always just wanted to be a wife and mother. Now that that stage is changing, it's very hard to know what our purpose is. What are we here for? Who are we suppose to be helping, shaping, teaching? Well, God has a purpose for us. You know He loves us more than anyone can imagine. He wants us to use our lives for Him, use our talents to encourage others. Yes, you have had a hard life and I would not wish it on anyone. BUT you can also use it to help others going through this same thing. Your blog reaches so many people all over the world. Use that to share about Christ and how He saved us and gives us eternal life. Use this site and continue to share your heart. If others don't agree or if you step on toes, so be it. Paul stepped on lots of toes in the Bible. Continue on being the best mommy/grandmother you can be. Continue to love your children and mentor them. Your blog makes me happy. It shows a "real" family. It reminds me what's important in life, God, family and relationships. It shows joy and pain. Love you.