work.pray.jesus.

Gosh, we have had soooo much rain over the last two weeks. Today it's sunny and spose to be sunny for 3 days according to the weather and then rain predicted most everyday next week. It's fantastic for the garden! BUT seriously, the guys have not worked in 2 weeks. If it is sunny, they can't work, because it DID rain and can't get into the job site. I literally don't know what we are going to do. Our California trip is in 13 days. I don't really like to make a big deal and issues in our family, too many to tell really, and most have their own situations to deal with, but would you pray for help to our situation with the rain and work and the trip. Of course God knows all this and he will see us through. Terry is so optimistic sometimes, I don't think he sees reality and I'm so opposite of him, I'm wondering how we are going to live. Thanks be to God, he can deal with us! Hahah!! 

Today is Wednesday so that means rowdy comes over. He's so fun to be with. He LOVES the farm and coming over. He loves to play in the sandbox, and eat and go in the garden and pinch off lettuce and eat it and he loves to have a movie time!! 

Thanks for standing in he gap! Much love!

Hosie makes great donuts too!! 

journey...

Back a long time ago, say about 9 years ago. I weighed a lot!! Like 168 pounds. When Joel got sick, I lost weight. Like 20 pounds. It was grieving weight loss. I couldn't eat or sleep. Hell, I wanted to die! A few years after Joel died, a few pounds slipped back on. It made me feel terrible. I didn't like myself. So that's when I begin my new journey of eating. I went with mean and green. I only ate meat and green things. It is really easy to do. I still ate some sugar occasionally. I would put a spoonful of whatever sweets there was on a spoon and that was my portion. I'm still refining how I eat. Now, I definitely do not do any breads, pastas, or stuff that has with flour. I try to do only chicken but when we do burgers, it's always bunless!! Ha!! Hosie makes tons of sweets and of course the kids eat it up quickly. I stay away from all that stuff. Rare occasions I'll sneak a dark chocolate in. I have really acquired a taste for bitter. I can not stand sweet coffee!! Blah!! One of the main reasons for this eating regime is because of IBS. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Basically, your gut doesn't like certain things and if you eat it, it's miserable!!!! Hahah!! I really am

Not a food loving person so I don't feeling I'm craving things I can't have. I just don't feel a 'rush' for say this food or that food. I do love spice and Mexican and that is probably a weakness I have and give into. For breakfast I always eat eggs and spinach and some fruit. For lunch, I usually eat another egg, maybe an apple and some almond butter. I usually eat a small portion for dinner and I totally feel so full. I think by not putting so

Much in your stomach, it shrinks and you get full faster. It's great we have all the greens in the garden right now. Perfect for the greens i seek to eat.  Anyways, saying all that to say, I'm a couple pounds from the 130's. I'm

Not trying to be a certain weight. I just appreciate how the food and weight and feeling good all works together when a person makes choices. It's so easy to go through a food line or spread on a table and just start picking up a little of everything. I mean, it's so easy to 'think' and make choices that are good. Look at what's before you and choose what's good! Exercise needs to be added in the regime as well. Bike riding and the tread mill work for me and also I like doing some light weights. Only the Lord knows our days, but it's so enjoyable to make the most of our bodies and not just let them go to pot. It actually helps me keep my sanity! It gives me something to focus on each day. I'm thankful for country life, a place we can grow good food and have space to be outside and get vitimin D. All those things work together for feeling good! Hope you can get your routine and find that little bit of hope that you need to push forward and just do it!!

comments!

I have no idea what my google pass word is and plus my google account was set up with our old email and now I'm

Not sure how to change all that, so all that to say, I can't reply back to your comments!! Ha!! But yes to the fairy garden and the garden path is in our back yard area! And thank you for you comments and encouragement! I have had this blog for 8 years now. I can't say I have the same passion as when I started it 8 years ago. The sole purpose was to share about Joel's cancer journey which turned into a far too short of one and so then it turned into my grieving journey and then for a short time, I didn't even come here, I didn't have much to write about. And now, it's a different season. One of just throwing some photos up and sharing a little bit of our day to day so my dad and Shirley can see what we are up to. I don't think I can ever bare my soul here again. Nothing to do with who might read it or anything like that, there's just too much that is best if I keep

It inside so others won't be hurt. So much has happened in my heart and life that has so much regret, sadness, disappointment, that it's best of it just stays put. I try to deal with it myself and then push it under the rug until the tears come, then I'm good for awhile until that process repeats itself. 

So so much rain lately! I know we need it but goodness, we need it to stop for a bit!! Everything is lime green for sure! The garden looks great and we are eating tons of green stuff!! Thankful for that otherwise we wouldn't have much of a selection!! Please pray for work. Again, weather is not on our side! No jobs, no work, no food! Ha!!! We at least buy eggs, so don't worry, we are not starving !!! 

Not long til we make our way to California for the wedding of Daniel and Erin, Lord willing! Long long drive!! Surely one of the kids wil get married in Oklahoma some day!! Pleasssse!!! 

Hope you all have great week!!

cupcakes.

We made lavender cupcakes with honey frosting today. They smell so aromatic. The smell Makes me think of a "place" that I would like to be. Soothing and calming. They say lavender is good for so many things. I use it often. Google and find out how you can use it. 

I wonder if life will ever be different? I wonder if any of my dreams will come true? I absolutely have no understanding of what my purpose is everyday. I swear all I do is clean house and cook. I don't necessarily mind those things, I just want to do  house projects. There are so many many broke things, I can't keep up the list. I'm griping I know. I lost something when Joel died. I lost the joy of living. I must make myself be grateful when so many have it far worse and their sufferings are much greater. Sometimes I can't figure out why so many people have to suffer and others don't. Some live their whole lives and never face anything. Right now, it seems like the Lord is far far away. And I know, it's not him, it's me. I must keep trusting and believing and hoping. I was suppose to be on a plane Friday, but plans changed, probably why I'm so down. 

Enough of that. there's too much in their to tell another person anyways. 

So onward with lavender cupcakes. They heal anything!

fairies....

Magical. fairies. dreams. that's what we have happening right in our backyard. Hosies flower garden is turning into a little never, never land. So whimsical! We have a good start and can't wait to see all the little plants grow and get bushy and flourish!! Everyone should have a fairy garden. It's so fun and enjoyable to look at! Thanks to my dad and Shirley for their generosity to Hosie and also Andrew pitched in too. Can't wait to see how all the flowers climb the trellis!! 

my bike

Biking has become one of my favorite things to do. A dream of mine is to travel but it doesn't look like that is going to be happening, so for now, my bike lets me travel in my mind to warm sunny places. Plus it's great exercise!! 

90!!

Gorgeous day on the farm! 90 degrees!! Makes me so so happy!! Farm to table asparagus for dinner!!

Joel's tree

Will the missing ever end? Will the broken heart ever be mended? Will the joy ever be restored? not in this life. That's why faith is in the unseen. Faith is hoping for what is yet to come. Heaven. Easter is a time for purposeful hope and reflection of what is to be. In he meantime, Joel's tree is beautiful! 

Roo Wednesday

Wednesday is the day Roo comes to play on the farm. And it is a beautiful day today! 85 degrees!! Today we hid eggs and colored eggs!! He actually threw an egg! Ha! In the colored bowl of dye! He was getting into it tho! 

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