Though........

My soul hath them still in remembrance.....This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. (Lam.3)

My Little Joel, Though today and the fifty days following are the darkest days of our lives, they do not compare to the three blessed years that you brought pure sunshine to our hearts.

Though the worst news parents could be told in the days ahead, will never outweigh the good news of that day in May that there is two!!

Though the weight of this trial was seemingly unbearable, the weight of you and Josiah in my womb was joy unexplainable!

Though the cries and tears were so painful to hear, your giggles and smiles are ever so dear!

Though the days you have been gone seem so long, it is really gettin' closer, and I 'll keep hangin' on!

Though the day of holding you as you lay still in my arms was breaking my heart, I will never forget the day I first held you, your life at the start.

Though a blanket around you and my arms holding you tight...no more breath.....I will never forget when I first snuggled you all tiny and new and wrapped so tight in a blanket.... we held you in life and in death! Oh, Lord, I am trying to see what you have done, that it is all by your plans and right that even though this day seemed like the beginning of the end......in eternity it is really the beginning of Joel's life that will never end! Thank you Lord for letting me be Joel's mommy!!

Today in 2006 we headed to the Dr. appointment at 1:30 and Josiah went too, little did we know that by 6:00 pm this evening we would be checked in to a hospital room and all that followed in the next 5o days. How can I not relive these days.....His grace has been abundant and sufficient, His compassions are felt, His mercies meet me everyday........but I still miss him and love him ever so dearly........

We are about 30 minutes away from "Paps" arriving! Earlier I had to send the little ones outside, they were bouncing off the walls, so I told them to "go rake the yard." That should keep them busy for a while I thought, but I looked out there and it was all done so quick, which is great but now they are bouncing again!!!! If I can just contain them a little longer, I will hand them over to their grandfather....hehehehee!!!! Tonight is their "big" night with him and receiving the gifts he got for each. I think the guys are getting home a little early, we'll have a simple meal tonight as I am waiting until Sat. to do our Christmas meal, I figured they would not eat much being too excited and all. The guys are building a house that is about 7000 sq.feet, out of the Build Block, and was it ever cold as they went out the door this morning, but they are dressed for it!! The Lord has been so faithful to provide even now as we head into the winter months.

Anna posted info at the bottom of the last post about the children playing in Guthrie, so if you need that info you'll have to go back and read there. Hope to see some of you and make sure you introduce yourselves !!!

Better go and get ready........

Cindy

Being a Steward.....

**Bethany has a surprise on her blog! Take a peek!**

****Some have asked about where the Journey to Bethlehem is that the Children are playing at--Please see the bottom of this post for details! :) ****


Most everything I read in the scriptures I apply it to my heart, my hurt, ,my grieving and the healing process. I was reading in I Cor. 3:1-2, Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful. I was thinking that with Joel and this trial it is somewhat a mystery because I will not know the fullness of it until eternity. To think also that I am to be a steward of this trial, and a steward here has the idea of espousal, to complete. This gives me a lot to meditate upon. Just as a bride desires to please her groom, I too want to please the Lord in how I respond to Him, yes there are moments when I get sad and the wondering's why the Lord allowed all this but those thoughts get shorter and shorter and now as I move forward I desire to please the Lord, I really seek to appropriate the truths and leap upon them as one being rescued, I want to be a testimony to our children, a steward for them to see because I know they too will face trials and I want them to come forth as gold and not to run away from the Lord but to Him. So that is where the next part of that verse challenges my heart, that I would be found faithful, to the Lord first and then faithful so that the children see when the worst of the worst comes our way, we can survive by His grace and his grace alone!! May the Lord challenge each of our hearts to be found faithful whether its just being a mommy, a wife, a teacher of our children, a cleaner of our home, managing our resources, or in the midst of a trial. He is faithful to us, let us be faithful to Him!!!!

Also this morning a dear friend shared this verse with me, He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Ps. 91:1-2. Remember a few posts back I was sharing about the "shadow of death and how it follows you?" This thought just leaped out this morning as I read those words, that there is another Shadow too, and it 's the Shadow of the Almighty, a Shadow that encompasses all my trial and pain and surrounds the shadow of death, a Shadow that shields and comforts, that allows me to rest under and find refuge, so much there and I love the picture I can put in my mind to make the contrast between the two shadows. And then the part of the verse that says " I will say," I can say that of my Lord now, that He has been my everything in this and that I do trust Him fully with Joel and what has come our way. Oh, the living words of Christ are so real and true, they are my "life support."

Well, we are trying to re-group. I went grocery shopping yesterday and it was sooooo cold loading stuff and going in stores in the early morning as I left the house around 6:30. Anna is busy today fixing "goodies" for when my dad and step-mother arrive on Thursday and we begin our "party" with them. They'll probably stay until Sun. morning. We'll let the children open their "Paps gifts" Thursday evening. Friday is Elijah's 18th Birthday, so we have to get ready for that too. And then on Saturday, Elijah, Anna, Bethany, Caleb and Daniel are playing downtown at this Christmas Journey of Bethlehem, a live, walk through of scenes throughout the stores. They will be playing their instruments at the reception area where folks will end up at. So you can see not a dull moment around here.

Do not forget about the opportunity to purchase the Pendragon DVD, the one that Caleb and Daniel did the battle scenes and the finale music on. It does have a message of generational vision as the son is challenged to carry on the sword of his father and how we must rise up and take heed to the call. Check it out here

Have a great Tuesday.......

Cindy

Journey to Bethlehem

Come experience the true meaning of Christmas! As you walk

through downtown Guthrie, view eight scenes portraying the

Biblical story of Christmas.

When: Saturday, December 6th from 4-8 p.m.

Where: Journey begins at Ochs Real Estate 102 W Oklahoma

(The journey will take about an hour to complete.)

*Live animals, including a camel, at the manger scene

*Refreshments and live music at the end of the Journey

Admission is free - donations accepted.

For more information, please call Chris Benton at (405) 315-0483

Enriched......

As December 4th approaches, the day of checking Joel in the hospital, I read this from another's journey of grieving and it melted my heart.....

In everything ye are enriched by Him." (1 Cor. 1:5)

"O Mother! my heart breaks with your heart when your cradle is empty. But shall I call back the child? Nay; sooner pluck a star out of heaven than call back that child to this wintry blast.

Your child is in a spring-land. [He] is in a summer-world. [He] is with God. You have given [him] back to Him who lent [him] to you.

Now, the giving back is very hard. But you can not give back to God all that you received with your child. You can not give back to God those springs of new and deeper affection which were awakened by the coming of this little one. You can not give back to God the experiences which you have had in dwelling with your darling.

You are better, you are riper, you are richer, even in this hour of bereavement, than you were. God gave, and He has not taken away except in outward form. He holds, He keeps, He watches, He loves. You shall have again that which you have given back to Him only outwardly.

Meanwhile the key is in your hand, and it is not a black iron key; it is a golden key of faith, of hope, and of love. This little child has taught you to follow [him]. There will not be a sunrise or a sunset when you will not in imagination go through the gate of heaven after [him]. There is no door so fast that a mother's love and a father's love will not open it, and follow a beloved child. And so, by [his] ministration, this child will guide you a thousand times into a realization of the great spirit-land, and into a faith of the invisible, which will make you as much larger as it makes you less dependent on the body, and more rich in the fruitage of the spirit."
(Mrs. Charles Cowman, "Consolation")

To think that I am enriched in everything that the Lord does, that means even in the life and death of Joel, to believe this sometimes is hard, but I must...........

Cindy

Our Trip......

It was so wonderful to visit with all the family at Thanksgiving, Terry's "group" is always a hoot to be around, never boring and if you do not have a good time its your own default!! I am glad to get back home though, to my safe place, to the place where Joel's presence is somewhat here, the things he touched and places he went, so there is comfort here in my zone. Its always so hard for me to leave on journey's, like when we spend the night somewhere else, because it feels like I have left him and to return it brings me back to the place where I took care of him......home. Now, I want to share some about our trip but mostly pictures, Anna took about 700 but I will spare you from that!!! On Wednesday evening we went to Terry's brothers Indoor Bating Cages that he has a s business, our children really enjoyed that. Of course later in the evening's the games began and the late nights......and coffee!!! Thursday, Terry's mom fixed a beautiful meal as I am sure many of you had as well. Terry's dad smoked a turkey too and it was delicious. The afternoon was spent recovering from all the intake of food:) One tradition that our crew has is to go play football on a large field, so off they went, they all play to win, Terry and his brother Todd have always been involved in sports and they are very competitive. All the younger children enjoyed playing and visiting with heir cousins and playing hide and seek in Na Na's house (Terry's mom) Friday our family and a few others went to the beach at Galveston, we took a lot of pictures and had a fun time there. I 'll post our family picture later as I am using it for our Christmas picture. Friday evening we have a tradition of ordering pizza and getting Blue Bell ice-cream, but this time we topped it out with placing an order to go of 21 pizza's!!!! I know, Burnett family, you can not believe that, but this night it was Morris servings and not B servings!! We had quite a few guests that joined us too!! Caleb, Daniel and Bethany gave a concert with music and then later the game of Canasta began, several of them lasting until about 3:30 am and I went in to wake our crew up at 4:00 am to leave to come home, and Bethany said, "we have only been a sleep for 30 minutes." We had a good trip home and now we will be getting ready for their other grandfather, "Paps," to come on Thursday to do Christmas with children. So here are the pictures........

The Ocean Today

We went to Galveston today to the ocean.....to look out across and as far as the eye can see, the vastness, the Creation that He spoke into exsistence.......and to think that He has Joel with him is amazing! It just speaks to my heart, what a infinite, holy, all knowing God we have!

Talk to you all soon......

Cindy