Wednesday, March 28, 2007

I will see you again...

I must confess that I have been drowning in the tormenters of the enemy to my mind. Today the Lord granted a feast at his table in his word that gave me truth to my heart. The mercy and truth is for today. I need your prayers that the Lord will help me to see these circumstances from his perspective as the days come and go. My emotions so much of the time out weigh my perspective and when that happens I feel the enemy bombarding my thoughts, bringing in turmoil to my heart, trying to reverse the wonderful memories of Joel and make me to have such a pity for Joel and all he went through which sends my emotions and thoughts to blame the Lord for causing all this. But alas, today I sense grace, peace and confidence in my Lord and my God ,as Thomas said in John 20:28. The first thing I read this morning was Ps. 138:7 Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me, thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies and thy right hand shall save me. This is my prayer that God would revive my heart to his truth and I would believe him. That he would stretch forth his hand against these tormenters of my mind.

I have been reading in John as well and these scripures were a well spring to my heart. John 16:20-Verily I say unto you, that ye shall weep and lament but the world shall rejoice and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned to joy. Verse 22 says, And ye now therefore have sorrow but I will see you again and your heart shall rejoice and your joy no man taketh from you. In this the Lord spoke to my heart that Joel will see me again. Verse 33-These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. It is in Jesus I will have peace, there is victory!

John 17:4 I have glorified thee on earth, I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do... like I said the tormenters to my mind tell me that Joel was short changed, that he is missing out, that Joel will not get to grow up and have a family, so this verse encouraged me that God had a work for Joel, he finished it and God will be glorified through it!

You know how we get love notes from our family and how that touches our heart, today I felt like God wrote me a special note as I read John 16:27," For the Father himself loveth you"! John 18:11 ...the cup which my Father hath given me, shall I not drink it? God is working and orchestrating his good pleasure to accomplish his will. I need to see and be thankful that I get to be apart of that and have a heart that says fill my cup with thy will not mine!

And lastly the sweet blessing of feasting this morning in his word was peace be unto you mentioned in John 20:19-26 three times. Jesus is telling me be at peace. My prayer is to not be faithless but believing (verse 27 as Jesus was telling Thomas).

The days are challenging, but today the Lord brought mercy and truth together to kiss my heart. I rejoice!

I still look for treasures and the Lord has opened his chest to cheer my heart over the last week. We have a large lilac bush that has produced leaves only,throughout the 12 years that we have lived here. The other evening we were out after supper and I smelled something sweet. I noticed that the lilac bush had about 6 or 7 blooms on it. I saw the Lord in this, a special treasure of "life". The lilac bush is located in a place where Joel, Josiah and Hosanna played often and the blooms were on that side, that was a special treasure to me!

Josiah was sitting in Anna's lap one evening and we were talking about Joel, he mentioned that he wanted Joel to come down and play with him. I said "he can't come down and play, he's in heaven." and Josiah simply questioned "are there not any doors up there?" Oh Lord give us faith as a little child!

Yesterday with the help of his sister Anna, Josiah brought me a tulip that they picked, he gave me a hug and said "I love you".These moments are so precious to me. Embrace them too, from your own household. Oh how the Lord daily loads us with benifits, may our hearts be set upon our great God!

Terry is still seeking to make right the death certificate and also will be trying to negotiate with the hospital concerning the medical bills. Please pray that the Lord will give help and favour and his provision.

Caleb and Daniel are working on the music composition for Joel's DVD, but we are experiencing technical difficulties with our computer. The Lord has worked it out to try a different computer to see if it will handle the program. Please pray this computer will run smoothly or that the Lord would give direction as to what to do if it does not. We have seen some of the incomplete parts of the documentary and our family is so very touched by John-Clays work. As the Lord brings it to your mind pray for John-Clay, Caleb and Daniel.

So many fo you we have not met, but we feel we know you, it's because of Jesus! Thank you for being a part of our lives, our heart and our tears!!!!!!!!
These pictures were taken last year at this time. The picnic was April 3, the striped shirts was March12, and the egg picture was March 4, 2006
Because He Lives I can face tomorrow.........

1 comment:

Christal said...

Dear Cindy,
Thank you for sharing from your heart. In your pain the Lord ministers to my often( like today ) I am given to complaining, yet your treasures from the Lord and His love-notes to you have blessed me today. Your transparency and sweet spirit is a blessing... thanks for the reminder to look for treasures.I loved hearing about the lilac bush and Josiah's sweet heart along with those beautiful scriptures straight from God's heart.
Lord, may Your Spirit continue to minister to Cindy and Terry and their family. Continue to show them Your heart, Your Words, Your love and tangible Presence. Bring to their minds continuous Words of life and hope, and the knowledge that Joel has a better life than we could ever imagine...that all his needs are abundantly met. Holding you up in my prayers today ((Cindy and Terry))...