Friday, August 19, 2016


Well, hi everyone! My plan is not to blog anymore. It's been quite a journey. What started as an information page to tell Joel's story turned into a grieving journey then to just random everyday life and then into a very tough journey of making this place where i have posted several entry's of "real life situations." Someone desired an update about the many many posts I had up about our finances which I did delete most I think. It's so hard to be real and then people get mad for being or showing what "real life" is. So, I don't have news of anything really being different. Hanging by a thread I guess you might say. When your in debt $48,000 (which I had no idea about) you might say there's not much freedom to move forward. When you resort to selling a chair to buy a phone, pawning goods for something, selling coins to buy groceries, selling old clothes to buy new clothes, selling decor to have a little extra cash, it pretty much sums up that the road is tough for now. But, life is life and you just get up and breath everyday and find little bits happiness in a cup of coffee or a walk through a flower garden or a trip given to you by your very own wonderful kids happening for me soon. I'm sorry to leave on such a sad and not very positive note but hey, sometimes lemons are used for many different ailments! 

So farewell, unless there's an earth shattering happening I'm off to see the world one way or another!! 

Much love, 


my most precious blessings besides my kids! 


Alisha C said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
j said...

I'm sad to see you are planning on no more blog. I find it refreshing to read your real life. Social media has made people feel like they need to be fake and make things seem perfect. Reality is much more genuine and raw and good. There's always those who will
Put down others, and they are the fools. I've read your blog for awhile. Be yourself. We weren't designed to be cookie cutter people. Your journey through losing a son has no doubt helped others in pain. Your new "journey" through financial hardship can encourage folks too. I hope you don't stop sharing but if you do I understand. Chin up. :)

Alicia said...

Thank you for your blog, I have enjoyed hearing of your adventures, birthday parties, and life. I started following you only a few years ago, but I pray God's blessings for you in the future.

Daniel and Jaynee Lockwood and Family said...

I will miss you, Cindy. You will never be forgotten.

Teena said...

OH, Cindy, just seeing this. Been here since the beginning. I am sad to see this blog end. YOU have encouraged others... so many who have lost a child. You have encouraged me by showing the enduring pain of that but how you still put one foot in front of the other and find the good gifts daily that God gives you. When you started sharing more about your current situations I prayed more for you and felt like .... just as all of us .... life is hard. Being real with people is what we are called to do. I do understand how "being real" can make others upset/mad. I understand that too. There is stuff I do not share. I so often want to.... and for years have lived in a very hard situation. God gives me the grace but sometimes it is so very hard. I am here always for you. You are my forever friend.

I love you.

suraiya said...

I have read your blog for several years now and it is an insight into a very different life than mine. I have one child and have not experienced the pain of losing one. Your writing did help me understand my mother better who lost a child.

I am sad to hear that times are tough. I am also struggling but in Australia we have a safety net and we also have medicare to take care of my ongoing medical needs that i would not be able to afford in the US.

I love seeing the posts about birthdays that you have thrown for your kids. They are beautiful and creative. I really think you have a talent for it. I don't the area you live but perhaps with some marketing you could be a party planner - you have the talent and ideas and your execution is beautiful. I know that there are lots of mums that struggle to get the idea to reality for parties. It might be something that can help tide you over until your finances are on the improve. I am sure that there would be many people happy to spread the word.

WHile I am not christian i will be praying for you and your family - hoping that all remain well and that things look up

Salam alaikum (peace and blessings upon you)

Malissa P. said...

I too am sad to see it end...but many blogs I have enjoyed over the years have closed shop for one reason or another. I have very much enjoyed seeing the beauty of your love of the Lord, your love for your family and love for your home. It has made me cry, brought smiles, and inspired me at times. I was originally from Oklahoma and my maiden name was Morris...though we decided several years ago we are not related, and one of your beautiful daughters shares my birthday... January 23rd. I will always remember you and your family, and when the Good Lord brings you to my mind I will pray for you and yours.
Thank you for sharing your life. Beautiful, broken, perfectly created, and perfectly honest. Everything a real life contains. It's been a blessing on this journey.
As Joel enjoys living in the presence of his savior he will also live in the memories you have allowed us to share.
Take care and God bless you abundantly.

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A.J. said...

I have no idea whether you still check comments, but I will still give it a shot.

I am the Spanish girl that used to follow your blog back when little Joel was still alive and fighting. You have been on my mind recently so I decided I would pop by to see what was new... I must say I was NOT expecting this! I am more sorry than I can say. The Lord bless you and provide for your needs. May you stay close to Him through this tough time. When the Lord brings you to mind I will be sure to pray for you!

Much love all the way from Eastern Europe...

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