Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Again.....


 Well here we are again, almost 8 years ago, the 23rd my sweet Joel flew to Jesus! How can and could it all have happened? and to a three year old? It will never be different, even 99 years from now, the missing and wishing it all would have never happened! Sometimes spurts of anger spring up. What was the purpose? I have to keep thinking that his plan is good. I will never be the same person ever again. So many times I still feel like I'm living outside it all and looking on from a distance. Shadow of Death is always looming! But I get up everyday and keep fixing meals and keep doing laundry and keep doing the mundane. Thank you praying. for being with us these 8 years! 

Also, Terry has another job. He actually has 3 jobs. The construction business, his life business and now a part time job in guthrie. Twenty hours a week. Our finaicial situation is at its worst in our marriage. I mean we are not even in debt. I have been looking for houses to clean. So far nothing has turned up. It's crazy. I thought when some of the kids left/moved out we might could start to do some things. Projects or maybe even travel. Now it's just trying to buy groceries. Why complain? I'm trying not to. Lord knows I don't want more discouragement! We have a warm house and health, so we do have much to be grateful for. 

Hope you all are having a good start the 2015!! So ready for Spring!! And warmth!some blue skies are carrying me though!! 

Had a fun day at the free zoo day yesterday with rowdy and the little kids!! Beautiful day!!

Much love!!


4 comments:

Bryan, Julie, and Kids said...

I hardly ever comment, but feel led to. I like following your blog and being encouraged by you. You don't probably realize how encouraging you are by just being real. Thanks for sharing about your hardships. This does stink!! Praying for you that relief will come soon. From another homeschooling mom with lots of kids (9).

Cinnamon said...

Hi Cindy~ I found you over on IG. Actually I think I found your dtr, Hosie, the fabulous baker :-) Love all her creations as we have a baker in our midst as well. She's 14 and loves chocolate, like her Papa.

My husband was a General Contractor in California, when we lived there. We now live in Iowa. So I understand the ups and downs of the construction business. During our first times with it, I learned (from my handsome husband) how to make homemade beans and tortillas. While we don't need to make them anymore we do as they hold special memories for us.

Your family is beautiful. I love when I find other large families. That way I can say "We only have 10 children, THEY have 13" :-) haha! We are due with our next cutie pie at the end of May. Picking names is always fun ♥

My blog and my IG are private but my email is CinCapri@gmail.com.

~Cinnamon
p.s. Your grand-dumpling "Roo" is adorable

Teena said...

Cindy, praying for you. I think it isn't complaining... I think it is being transparent. Everything looks perfect on our blogs or in pictures... but really that isn't how life is. Asking God to show you and to open doors for Terry. Last year was so very tough for us. Crisis after crisis.. but God answered some. :) I am so very thankful for you. YOU inspire me. When I become down or very discouraged I look to Him and remember as you said... to just get up...

I love you.

Sydnee Walker said...

Sweet Cindy! I have been following you and your sweet Hosies IG for a while, I'm just so inspired by you all!
Anyways, my husband and I are considering adding a monthly house cleaner to our budget. I was curious if you would email me and we could discuss pricing!! We live in Guthrie! I work in our small family business so I truly understand the struggles and love supporting other locals!

My email is sydneew88@gmail.com

Thank you! ☺️