Thursday, November 15, 2007

Hum Drum

We do not need a special day
to bring you to our minds
The days we do not think of you
are very hard to find

Each morning when we wake,
we know that you are gone
And not many know the heartache
as we try to tarry on
Our hearts still ache with saddness
and secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
no one will ever know

Our thoughts are always with you
your place no one can fill
In life we loved you dearly
in death we love you still

If tears could make a staircase
and heartaches make a lane
We'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again

We hold you close within our hearts
and there you will remain
To walk with us throughout our lives
till we meet again

Our family chain is broken now
and nothing seems the same
But as the heavens call us one by one
the chain will link again

Hum drum, mundane, ordinary.... that is what it has been lately around here. I guess if I could give any advice, it would be give thanks for those plain, simple days that sometimes seem like you do not accomplish much. For last year we were in the middle of the unknown and in 21 days we would begin to walk in the darkest trial of our lives and to hear the most dreaded knews to our hearts, " your son has cancer, neuroblastoma, stage IV, the worst stage, the only hope besides a miracle of healing to save his life is chemo and a rigerous roadmap ahead of you"The scripture is true, "do not boast about tomorrow, for we do not know what a day will bring forth". Our family with the Lord's help tries to always say "Lord willing" to any plans. As I look over small journal entries on small pieces of paper of what was going on in Joel's little life and think of what he was experiencing on particular days, it is hard to my heart of these days last year. Of all that Joel was going through, yes he had winey days, and mostly wanted to be held, but he did have his smile and alot of days that he grabbed our hearts with his sweet unique voice and his funny sayings. He never complained of his hardships of not being able to do any of the activities as he watched his siblings. It brought great joy as they would play around him and he would watch with utmost enjoyment. I miss him more than ever as these are very memorable days. So.... love those plain, maybe even boring days!!!!!!!

Lets see, what else is going on around here... Terry and the boys are busy with the new family business, Shekinah Springs Farm and Construction. They have many jobs ahead. Right now they are building a barn and after that another barn, concrete work, and after Thanksgiving a big job in Eufaula, Ok. It is amazing as when they finish one job the Lord provides another. This was Terry's vision a year ago and through the Lord orchestrating all the plans, Terry's and our families desire was fulfilled. It is certainly a leap of faith for me because I have been grocery shopping every two weeks for 10 years or longer and now I am hoping I can still do that:) Terry's favorite saying in our house is "THE LORD WILL PROVIDE" He does demonstrate greater faith than I, which for me is good because I need a crutch so often!!!

Terry and I had our 21st aniversary on November 8th, and his mom and dad celebrated their 50th last Saturday. We went to the Houston area to join in on that great day! It was such a nice time with family and friends.

We do have some exciting news with the DVD's. The Vision Forum ministry has requested 700 copies of Joel's Journey. It is very comforting to my heart that Joel's story is going forth and that he is not forgotten. Also John-Clay is having a screening at a church tomorrow night (Fri) There could be 150 people there, more or less. They are planning to show two more films besides Joel's. One of them is one that John-Clay helped on and it was also entered in the film festival. I'll let you know how that goes later. Ther is another distibutor too, but I do not know his web site, John-Clay has kind of been in charge of that. Thank you for all the tender and encouraging words on the DVD.

As for me we are still waiting, because of not having any direction at this time, that is all I can do. There are only two options, the D&C or a pill that can be used to start contractions and would possibly cleanse the womb. So if the Lord brings it to your mind, pray for us on that.

Bethany has designed a web site for our business and is still under construction, if you like you can take a look. Bethany has done a great job and Anna too, taking the pictures. Don't forget to put in your Christmas order for soap. The lavender scented is available now.

With Thanksgiving ahead of us, I know for all of us there is so much to be thankful for... I am thankful for a little boy named Joel that the Lord allowed me to give birth to and nourish and to be blessed with for 3 years 4 months and 10 days. It was all too short, and that is why I look forward to eternity, because I can hold him and cuddle him forever... I love you Joel...



Lockwoods said...

Oh, how I have and will continue to keep you in my prayers during these difficult months. My eyes overflow with tears just reading your heartfelt much sweeter heaven becomes each day. How very precious His Word becomes the harder the road. May He continue to bring healing to your broken hearts, give you His peace that passeth all understanding, and may His love fill you.
Though we have never met, you are very dear to my heart and I pray for you each day. Often, when I see my little Josiah who reminds me so much of your pictures of your Joel and Josiah, I stop right there and pray for you and your family.

Emma R. said...

Again your words are so very touching. Your family is in our daily prayers, and even my little ones pray and say "Amen" when we pray for you. I pray that the Lord will greant you all strength in the next few weeks over the holidays, as I know it will be tough and you will be missing little Joel. Congrats on your anniversary and what an amazing trip it must have been to celebrate the 50th of Terry's parents, that is an wonderful thing to see these days, 50 years, wow. God Bless your family today and every day.

I feel so close to your family in my heart, even with the only link I have to you being this page. Yours is the most loving family I have ever seen and you all deserve so much happiness. I pray the Lord heals your hearts and heals your body so you can avoid medical intervention.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. How blessed you all are to have each other

Lori (Emma's Mom)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the constant reminder to thank God for blessings. It is always harder to thank God for the things we are given sometimes than to complain about the things we are without.