Wednesday, August 18, 2010
r u ready ???????
Is everyone ready for the surprise????????? So about 5 weeks ago, I think it was I told you that I had the opportunity to custom order something! There is this store that I love to go to in OKC, its called Lorec Ranch! I got my couch there too awhile back that I showed you and it is black leather with cowhide cushions! So one night when Terry and I went on a date, we went by my favorite store and checked out ordering, got some samples of leather and then the next day I went back over to the store and ordered this chair!!!! It is a chair and 1/2. Its bigger than a chair but not as big as a love seat! I picked out the leather color, cowhide, nailheads and I designed and put the leather and cowhide where I wanted it!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! It goes well with the red wall in the new area that we added on! Slowly, I am getting
Monday, August 16, 2010
lets go over it again..........
*** I know many of you have seen Joel's Journey DVD, but just for info, if you have not and would like to, the Home school Channel is showing it throughout this week and here is the link for the schedule ***** and here is the link to the channel One viewing will be tonight at 6:30 pm central time.
Ok, lets go over it again........ here is a chronology;
Jan. 07 - Joel died
Year of 07- grieving hell, angry, disappointed, sad/mad at my own family or taking my grief out on them, very tough year to say the least!!!
Year 08- grieving with emotion, beginning of Jan, God through the Holy Spirits work brought me to the place of acceptance, of trusting His plan and that it was a perfect plan, it was also the most emotional year. Crying at every thing that could have related to Joel, a passy, the swing set, a bush outside, stores I went in to, toys, clothes, food ect......
Year 09- grieving with a seeking heart, immersing my self in truth like I have never done before
Year 2010- grieving with anticipation of when I will see Joel again, peace.
Something is really bugging me! In the course of this last year especially, I have sought and wanted this blog to be a ministry to people that have experienced a toddler/small child death. I want to give back like it says in the scripture, Who comforteth us in our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted by God. And as it says in verse 6, Cor. in my afflictions, it brings consolation to others that are beginning the journey of cancer/illness with a small child or like us ending a journey with a small child, and our afflictions/trials work effectually in the enduring of the same sufferings that they are in.Verse 7, says that our hope of you is steadfast. I have desired to focus on sharing with others of the hope that Christ has given me. But let me say real quick, I AM STILL GRIEVING, I WILL ALWAYS BE GRIEVING, I AM NOT DONE GRIEVING!!!!! I have re-read to make sure this is not a "me" thing of many mothers that have lost a small child in the last 3 years and even longer and their journal entries are many times, much heavier and sadder than mine, BUT THEY ARE STILL GRIEVING too even after all these years! The thing that really bugs me is the fact that some people who have never experienced a small child death seem to have ideas you get over this say in a certain amount of time and you should return to what you use to be like. I am not the same me! I will not be like "me" as when Joel was here, I can not even explain it, its just fact! I have had people say or think that I act different maybe in person verses what I write. There is something that you should probably know about me, I write out my feeling, thoughts, emotions, hurts, easier than sitting down and telling you. You can ask anyone in my family, I tend to not share my self, heart, thoughts, feelings easily in person. Writing has been a huge release of grieving for me. All this to say if you want to know how I am doing, don't expect me to necessarily "tell" you all this I am writing. You will likely have to read about it here if you want to know. This is just the way "I" do it, share that is all that I am going through. I know of some moms that enjoy speaking it instead of writing but each one has unique ways of grieving. So I am not here to please people in the way I grieve, I am here to hopefully encourage others that come behind me that are placed on this journey by a Providential Hand. I do not plan on rising to your expectations of "getting over this." I will though by His grace walk through this and it is a walk that lasts a lifetime. I will never forget the scripture that God gave me, "length of days understanding." Time will not heal but through the length of days of being away from Joel, I will grow in understanding of HIM as I keep in the Word! So if you feel at arms length and you want to know more of me, just read here on this blog. There are days that are heavier than others, every August through Jan. is heavy with memories, last birthday, fevers, Dr. visits. But ya know what?...... everyday is a grace filled day because I ask for grace everyday to get through it with out Joel here with our family. Whatever I write, whether its hope writing or baring my sorrows, my main goal is to tell others that God is Faithful and His Word is personal to our every need, hurt, longing, direction, joy, sorrow, for all of life! Thank you for letting me "write" about me, Joel, sorrow and hope!
I don't even know if I can re-cap our lives! WOW!! I must say I will have to get a calendar to recollect......my eye problem I had last week is doing great, almost gone, Anna had a tooth pulled, I had to get my ear de-waxed or rather flushed out, grocery day last Friday, Oh and Anna's party last Thursday was a fun night for sure! We had some friends over for Meteor watching and we all laid on the trampoline til 1 am, they left and we then watched "the lion, the witch and the wardrobe," movie, we went swimming at a friends house last Thursday, we had company over the weekend with a super neat family, some of them went to motor cross racing, and then Sunday eve, Dave and Kate had many families over for dinner for a "u don't know its Dave's birthday party!!" And now we are up to date with today, Monday and it was filled with getting the guys off this morning, going to Bass Pro, picking Micah up from work, making tacos, and cuttin a hugemongus watermelon!! But thats not all, the big girls, Micah and Andrew went to play basketball at a park with some friends!!! Hopefully now its getting to the end of the day.....oops can't forget my cup of decaf. coffee!!!
I love writing to you all......
............thank you so much for reading!
Oh, one more thing a suprise.....remember bout 4-6 weeks ago, I said I would show you something......Lord willing Wednesday is the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, lets go over it again........ here is a chronology;
Jan. 07 - Joel died
Year of 07- grieving hell, angry, disappointed, sad/mad at my own family or taking my grief out on them, very tough year to say the least!!!
Year 08- grieving with emotion, beginning of Jan, God through the Holy Spirits work brought me to the place of acceptance, of trusting His plan and that it was a perfect plan, it was also the most emotional year. Crying at every thing that could have related to Joel, a passy, the swing set, a bush outside, stores I went in to, toys, clothes, food ect......
Year 09- grieving with a seeking heart, immersing my self in truth like I have never done before
Year 2010- grieving with anticipation of when I will see Joel again, peace.
Something is really bugging me! In the course of this last year especially, I have sought and wanted this blog to be a ministry to people that have experienced a toddler/small child death. I want to give back like it says in the scripture, Who comforteth us in our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted by God. And as it says in verse 6, Cor. in my afflictions, it brings consolation to others that are beginning the journey of cancer/illness with a small child or like us ending a journey with a small child, and our afflictions/trials work effectually in the enduring of the same sufferings that they are in.Verse 7, says that our hope of you is steadfast. I have desired to focus on sharing with others of the hope that Christ has given me. But let me say real quick, I AM STILL GRIEVING, I WILL ALWAYS BE GRIEVING, I AM NOT DONE GRIEVING!!!!! I have re-read to make sure this is not a "me" thing of many mothers that have lost a small child in the last 3 years and even longer and their journal entries are many times, much heavier and sadder than mine, BUT THEY ARE STILL GRIEVING too even after all these years! The thing that really bugs me is the fact that some people who have never experienced a small child death seem to have ideas you get over this say in a certain amount of time and you should return to what you use to be like. I am not the same me! I will not be like "me" as when Joel was here, I can not even explain it, its just fact! I have had people say or think that I act different maybe in person verses what I write. There is something that you should probably know about me, I write out my feeling, thoughts, emotions, hurts, easier than sitting down and telling you. You can ask anyone in my family, I tend to not share my self, heart, thoughts, feelings easily in person. Writing has been a huge release of grieving for me. All this to say if you want to know how I am doing, don't expect me to necessarily "tell" you all this I am writing. You will likely have to read about it here if you want to know. This is just the way "I" do it, share that is all that I am going through. I know of some moms that enjoy speaking it instead of writing but each one has unique ways of grieving. So I am not here to please people in the way I grieve, I am here to hopefully encourage others that come behind me that are placed on this journey by a Providential Hand. I do not plan on rising to your expectations of "getting over this." I will though by His grace walk through this and it is a walk that lasts a lifetime. I will never forget the scripture that God gave me, "length of days understanding." Time will not heal but through the length of days of being away from Joel, I will grow in understanding of HIM as I keep in the Word! So if you feel at arms length and you want to know more of me, just read here on this blog. There are days that are heavier than others, every August through Jan. is heavy with memories, last birthday, fevers, Dr. visits. But ya know what?...... everyday is a grace filled day because I ask for grace everyday to get through it with out Joel here with our family. Whatever I write, whether its hope writing or baring my sorrows, my main goal is to tell others that God is Faithful and His Word is personal to our every need, hurt, longing, direction, joy, sorrow, for all of life! Thank you for letting me "write" about me, Joel, sorrow and hope!
I don't even know if I can re-cap our lives! WOW!! I must say I will have to get a calendar to recollect......my eye problem I had last week is doing great, almost gone, Anna had a tooth pulled, I had to get my ear de-waxed or rather flushed out, grocery day last Friday, Oh and Anna's party last Thursday was a fun night for sure! We had some friends over for Meteor watching and we all laid on the trampoline til 1 am, they left and we then watched "the lion, the witch and the wardrobe," movie, we went swimming at a friends house last Thursday, we had company over the weekend with a super neat family, some of them went to motor cross racing, and then Sunday eve, Dave and Kate had many families over for dinner for a "u don't know its Dave's birthday party!!" And now we are up to date with today, Monday and it was filled with getting the guys off this morning, going to Bass Pro, picking Micah up from work, making tacos, and cuttin a hugemongus watermelon!! But thats not all, the big girls, Micah and Andrew went to play basketball at a park with some friends!!! Hopefully now its getting to the end of the day.....oops can't forget my cup of decaf. coffee!!!
I love writing to you all......
............thank you so much for reading!
Oh, one more thing a suprise.....remember bout 4-6 weeks ago, I said I would show you something......Lord willing Wednesday is the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
me and kate report and stuff.!
I did not trip with the tray or spill anything on anybody but Kate said she dropped a roll in a persons lap!!! oops! It went well as far as serving but it was a very interesting wedding party and guests for sure. Lets just say I am glad Bethany and Anna were too busy to do this! Where there is no fear of God, desires for pleasures of this world are unleashed through lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the wantonness of drink that leads to a life that is needy of Christ, for forgivness, and redemption. When I look at such and see God's great mercies to such a worm as I and know that I am now more deserving than the lot of folks we served Saturday, all I can say is O, Lord, thank you for your mercies! An eye opener for sure! And I think this was a rare case!
Week 2 for the Ada adventure! As far as logistics it is working well, getting the meals covered, but alot of work, its like cooking two dinners, one for here and then one for the guys there. Last week we were in such a rush that the emotions did not hit until this week, its not easy having your husband and older sons gone, we miss them! The girls, Micah and Andrew just headed down there to clean, spend the night, take dinner for tonight and the rest of the week and to play vb. You see the BSU is about a block and half away, they can walk to the outdoor vb court. Really they have a great set up, the job is 7 minutes, vb is say 2 min walk, and Wal Mart is 10 minutes......all they need, right???? I guess I feel a bit sad knowing that this is the schedule for 3-4 grueling months! Maybe, just maybe it will go faster than thought! There is another hitch and we do not know if it will come to pass, but a bid is being considered for the guys to go to Canada to build a Cabella's store, one of those hunting/fishing outdoor stores. It would start end of Sept and be about a 4-6 week job. We will know soon if this will come to pass, so Terry really needs a few extra prayers as he manages and gets people to work. I feel for him, it is alot to carry as far as details and figuring it all out.
Last night we watched Chronicles of Narnia movie, Prince Caspian, So today the littles are playing it! They actually thought the movie was scarry. Terry has read the Chronicles to the older ones many times and they definitely are able to draw out the spiritual analogies but the younger ones just see all the unusual animals and people not comprehending the meanings. I ahve to confess, I got teary eyed at the end when the song The Call was sung, it had a phrase in it that said," you'll come back when they call you, no need to say goodbye," I don't have to say good bye to him, its just a moment in time here and then forever together. I liked the part of Aslan telling Lucy at the end that her friends had fought long enough and now he was going to move on the scene and then victory was coming, supernatural things started happening and the enemies were consumed! I can't help but anticiapate the "drama" that is yet to come yet I was so encouraged to think even as we tarry here and think we can not fight or endure any longer, God then moves on the scene, showing himself strong with help from on high. I don't consider that God did not help us with Joel, He did!!! He moves and works in ways that bring Him the most glory, whether its healing that will bring the most glory or a death that brings the most glory.
Yesterday my eye was feeling like it had a sty thing on it. Did not think much of it. Last night I thought I would go take a look under the eyelid and it was rather tender and some tissuey stuff under it, so this morning I went to my eye doctor and as of now he thinks it is an eyelid infection and hopefully with an antibiotic, it will clear up quickly. Makes me look a little weird, its a bit puffy! Mercy woke up with a "sick" she said but now she is going full speed, don't know what happened there but she is good now.
Since just us littles are here, they are having hot dogs, Jeremiah is in charge of fixin it!!! I guess I told Mercy I would make some cookies, so I will have to keep my word.
Thursday, Anna is having an "all girl party" honoring her graduation, its an all nighter! Since the guys won't be here anyway, we are sending all the rest of the little guys over to Dave's! He is going to be in charge of my children......scarry!!! JK!!! Kate is coming here. At some point I know I am going to go to my room and just close the door and hope they don't destroy too much. What can girls do???? Anna is in charge of all the snacks and food and entertainment!
Take care....... the picture of Joel on the header and on the side with the "cow hat." was taken on the 7th, when a picture matches a day, it is tough.....he was soooo excited bout that hat!
Week 2 for the Ada adventure! As far as logistics it is working well, getting the meals covered, but alot of work, its like cooking two dinners, one for here and then one for the guys there. Last week we were in such a rush that the emotions did not hit until this week, its not easy having your husband and older sons gone, we miss them! The girls, Micah and Andrew just headed down there to clean, spend the night, take dinner for tonight and the rest of the week and to play vb. You see the BSU is about a block and half away, they can walk to the outdoor vb court. Really they have a great set up, the job is 7 minutes, vb is say 2 min walk, and Wal Mart is 10 minutes......all they need, right???? I guess I feel a bit sad knowing that this is the schedule for 3-4 grueling months! Maybe, just maybe it will go faster than thought! There is another hitch and we do not know if it will come to pass, but a bid is being considered for the guys to go to Canada to build a Cabella's store, one of those hunting/fishing outdoor stores. It would start end of Sept and be about a 4-6 week job. We will know soon if this will come to pass, so Terry really needs a few extra prayers as he manages and gets people to work. I feel for him, it is alot to carry as far as details and figuring it all out.
Last night we watched Chronicles of Narnia movie, Prince Caspian, So today the littles are playing it! They actually thought the movie was scarry. Terry has read the Chronicles to the older ones many times and they definitely are able to draw out the spiritual analogies but the younger ones just see all the unusual animals and people not comprehending the meanings. I ahve to confess, I got teary eyed at the end when the song The Call was sung, it had a phrase in it that said," you'll come back when they call you, no need to say goodbye," I don't have to say good bye to him, its just a moment in time here and then forever together. I liked the part of Aslan telling Lucy at the end that her friends had fought long enough and now he was going to move on the scene and then victory was coming, supernatural things started happening and the enemies were consumed! I can't help but anticiapate the "drama" that is yet to come yet I was so encouraged to think even as we tarry here and think we can not fight or endure any longer, God then moves on the scene, showing himself strong with help from on high. I don't consider that God did not help us with Joel, He did!!! He moves and works in ways that bring Him the most glory, whether its healing that will bring the most glory or a death that brings the most glory.
Yesterday my eye was feeling like it had a sty thing on it. Did not think much of it. Last night I thought I would go take a look under the eyelid and it was rather tender and some tissuey stuff under it, so this morning I went to my eye doctor and as of now he thinks it is an eyelid infection and hopefully with an antibiotic, it will clear up quickly. Makes me look a little weird, its a bit puffy! Mercy woke up with a "sick" she said but now she is going full speed, don't know what happened there but she is good now.
Since just us littles are here, they are having hot dogs, Jeremiah is in charge of fixin it!!! I guess I told Mercy I would make some cookies, so I will have to keep my word.
Thursday, Anna is having an "all girl party" honoring her graduation, its an all nighter! Since the guys won't be here anyway, we are sending all the rest of the little guys over to Dave's! He is going to be in charge of my children......scarry!!! JK!!! Kate is coming here. At some point I know I am going to go to my room and just close the door and hope they don't destroy too much. What can girls do???? Anna is in charge of all the snacks and food and entertainment!
Take care....... the picture of Joel on the header and on the side with the "cow hat." was taken on the 7th, when a picture matches a day, it is tough.....he was soooo excited bout that hat!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
me and kate......
A crazy day!!! Group #1 at their land, group #2 went to Missouri, group#3 went to get hay, group #4 went to fire station, group#5, went to town, group #6 at home!!! Unless the 12 year olds and under fire up the tractor, I think we are safe to say there will not be a group #7!!!!
Kate and I are doing an adventure tonight! The place where Bethany and Anna iron, hosts, (the Dominion House) weddings, receptions, anniversaries and other gala events, the girls could not do this so Kat e and I ...... are going to be waitresses for a wedding reception this evening. It is a meal that will be served and we will along with many others serve this wedding party and I think get paid for it!! LOL!! We have to wear all black to look professional I guess!!! I just hope I do not trip or something! Dave is coming over here for backup baby sitters!!!
I got sunburned yesterday! The littles went swimming and I sat and watched them and did not realize I was getting so red! I needed to get a little more sun to carry me through the rest of the summer!
We are enjoying "playing" with the guys! Although some have been gone today, we did all stay at home last night!
Hope everyone is having a great weekend, we are busy as always but blessed beyond measure! Billy mowed the cemetery this morning and I was so thankful he did!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
more adventures !
Hot dogs, chips, cokes, guacamole dip........for dinner.....I can get by with that!!!!! This will be our meal once a week (since the guys are gone) to give me a break in cookin!! Easy to fix, easy to clean up!
Adventures continue around here! From the home front and from the place at Ada. The adventures from Ada were after the guys worked til 5:30 pm in over 100 degree heat yesterday, Caleb, Daniel and Elijah and another friend went to haul hay starting around 8:30pm and hauled until 3:30 am, yea, like the next morning!! They did not go to bed until this morning around 5:00 or so. They slept in a bit but then had to get back on the construction site! Crazy guys for sure!
Adventures on the home front include dropping Anna off at Frontier City (the place we went as a family with all the rides) to meet a friend, then Bethany, Mercy and myself went on a wedding gift hunt for her friend Danielle who is getting married this month!!!! Perfect gifts for a incredible young lady!
The weekend looks like many adventures too on the home front, some going on a quick trip to Missouri for a wedding shower, working on the land with Dave's new bobcat that he is letting the guys use, hopefully getting "somebody" to finish the wood ceiling, and preparing meals for the guys next weeks stay in Ada
I just came in from a 4 wheeler ride with Anna. I told her I wanted to go find some cow bones to decorate with and we got one head! Gruesome huh? Its western and southwest look! Upon this little ride, as Anna weaves her way through the thick limbs and branches, my head becomes stuck in a branch of wishbone shape! Not good! Country girl does not slow down enough and it was a close call to falling off the back of the 4 wheeler! I thank you Anna for transporting me safely back home with my cow skull!
Seriously, Terry and the guys are doing fine, we are too! He has 9 guys for a crew, one of the guys, Willey helps in OKC not Ada. Tuesday night he was able to secure another guy they met playing vb. From what Terry shared about this fellow, it will be a good opportunity to be a testimony to him by God's grace and encourage him. Sometimes I think when we are around all the "right" people, we loose perspective and vision that God wants us to make disciples and be a light to others. To those that are lost of course and those that need encouragement of being sharpened by others that are continuing in the faith. So, Lord willing our crew can minister to this young man.
Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! That means the guys come home after work!!!!
Adventures continue around here! From the home front and from the place at Ada. The adventures from Ada were after the guys worked til 5:30 pm in over 100 degree heat yesterday, Caleb, Daniel and Elijah and another friend went to haul hay starting around 8:30pm and hauled until 3:30 am, yea, like the next morning!! They did not go to bed until this morning around 5:00 or so. They slept in a bit but then had to get back on the construction site! Crazy guys for sure!
Adventures on the home front include dropping Anna off at Frontier City (the place we went as a family with all the rides) to meet a friend, then Bethany, Mercy and myself went on a wedding gift hunt for her friend Danielle who is getting married this month!!!! Perfect gifts for a incredible young lady!
The weekend looks like many adventures too on the home front, some going on a quick trip to Missouri for a wedding shower, working on the land with Dave's new bobcat that he is letting the guys use, hopefully getting "somebody" to finish the wood ceiling, and preparing meals for the guys next weeks stay in Ada
I just came in from a 4 wheeler ride with Anna. I told her I wanted to go find some cow bones to decorate with and we got one head! Gruesome huh? Its western and southwest look! Upon this little ride, as Anna weaves her way through the thick limbs and branches, my head becomes stuck in a branch of wishbone shape! Not good! Country girl does not slow down enough and it was a close call to falling off the back of the 4 wheeler! I thank you Anna for transporting me safely back home with my cow skull!
Seriously, Terry and the guys are doing fine, we are too! He has 9 guys for a crew, one of the guys, Willey helps in OKC not Ada. Tuesday night he was able to secure another guy they met playing vb. From what Terry shared about this fellow, it will be a good opportunity to be a testimony to him by God's grace and encourage him. Sometimes I think when we are around all the "right" people, we loose perspective and vision that God wants us to make disciples and be a light to others. To those that are lost of course and those that need encouragement of being sharpened by others that are continuing in the faith. So, Lord willing our crew can minister to this young man.
Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! That means the guys come home after work!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)