Sunday, December 23, 2007

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas !!




"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" was the little jingle that Joel sang last year as he swayed from left to right with his arms held high, so it is with him in mind that we say that jingle to you !!!!!

It is with a blessed heart that I share the happenings in our family and a broken heart that I have to revise Joel's residence. I am happy that Joel is with the Lord, but that part of my heart that is still wounded misses him and wishes he were here with his family.

The year 2007 has been one of joys, trials, and adventure, but the Lord has been with us through it all and according to the scripture, he has orchestrated the events that have unfolded before the foundation of the world. Many of you know that Terry left his cooperate job after 12 years to come home and work with sons and start a construction business,"Shekinah Springs Farm and Construction." After much prayer and his work making managerial changes, Terry discussed with his boss his desires. He had a wonderful boss that actually worked towards fulfilling Terry's and our families desire. Terry has demonstrated a great faith in Jehovah Jireh that is encouraging to each of us. So I start with that "big" change for our family.

Caleb and Daniel (20) are working with their father doing construction work. They have met many new people and as opportunity arises, they seek to share about the Lord. Of course one of their gifts is with music and they continue to have opportunities to enlarge their borders in that respect. They really enjoy composing. To me, it seems so hard, coming up with something from nothing, except what is in their head and I guess their heart. They are wonderful helpers on the homefront too. They are a blessing to me as they are very faithful to spend time with the Lord and are seeking to defy the worlds "system" in their faith, music and convictions that they have established in their hearts.

Bethany(18) has many talents and abiltiies. From skills in the home to undertaking and managing our Boer and Nubian goats. That involves alot of research in birth, breeding, nutrition in producing show quality animals which is her goal. Lord willing next year she has alot of plans to travel with her father and siblings to show some of the goats. I am blessed by her cheerfulness and how she always has time for her younger siblings.

Elijah(17) is a young man with strength and energy of a moose! Elijah loves life and adventure!!
His heart is very sensitive to the Lord and others. He is also working with his father and brothers and with all the energy is a great asset to the work crew. I am blessed by his sensitivity to me in that he seeks to make things smooth for his mom.

Anna(15) I always have to say what her name means, "gracious one", because that is her in a nutshell. She gives her self to her family 100%. She enjoys investing time with her siblings and is a marvelous worker in the kitchen too. I am blessed by Anna's sensitivity to seek forgivness when needed.

Micah(13) Alot of responsibility falls upon Micah's shoulders and he unceasingly helps hold the fort down throughout the day. Micah has recently purchased a compound bow and is waiting for the "Big One" to come along his tree stand that his paps got for him and help set up. I am blessed by the way he demonsrates endurance as he carries out extra chores when his older brothers are not here during the day.

Andrew(11) his name means "manly" and Andrew is proving that to be so. Whatever task is given, Andrew can handle and seeks to get it done without delay and that is a blessing to me! Andrew helps Bethany with the goats and is looking forward to the upcoming shows. I guess if we ever need provision of "food", Andrew will be the man. He brought in a rabbit the other night.

Joshua(9) Full of energy, which is a great help to mom when I run out of it! Joshua is enjoying hunting with his new equipment. Joshua is a blessing to me as he is learning to carry out his chores faithfully.

Jeremiah(7) a merry heart doeth good like a medicine, Jeremiah is our prescription when we need to have a happy heart. He is quite funny!!! I am blessed as Jeremiah carries out his man duties daily with a determination that will quickly get him out to the hunting range.

Hosanna(5) Already knows how to be a #1 mommy and take care of babies!!! What a wonderful sister she is to Mercy!!! She totes her around and likes to help watch her outside. She LOVES to do her schoolwork. She needs to shed some of her excitement on her brothers:) I am blessed by Hosanna's willingness to serve and help me.

Joel (Forever 3) In his presence is fulness of joy and at his right hand there are pleasures forever more. Our hearts miss you so very much! If the Lord lets you help build your families mansion, build a BIG one, so we can once again be together!! I am blessed by Joel's life of 3 years 4 months and 10 days. What a privilege to give birth, nourish and enjoy your sweet personality. I LOVE YOU!!!!

Josiah (4) a four year hold that is packed with sweetness that I just want to eat up!!! I am so thankful for him. Josiah enjoys playing outside and running with the big brothers. Hosie is his main partner. Josiah brings many smiles to my heart as he likes to hold me and we sit and talk about "Balley."

Mercy (21 months) Absolutely precious!!!!!! It is amazing her feet still hit the floor as brothers and sisters are still smothering her with "loves and kisses." Whenever you ask her a question that answers "yes', she says YEA BABY instead! Elijah taught her that. Mercy enjoys platying with her kitchen and babies. She is a very mommy girl and I love her "hold you" moments. Sometimes her and Duffy the dog have fusses and tugs over toys!!!! My brothers say "I"m show quality," that is goat lingo!!! I also have a bunch of other names " tiny, misty, diesel, dora, two-so dora, mary, she's so goood, giz, smarry, merkle, tiny poor one, and merty just to name a few!!"

Our 3 miscarriages, safe in the arms of Jesus. What a wonderful day to look forward to in seeing these precious little ones!!!

Me ( age not required) I am blessed beyond measure and more than I deserve

Terry (we are the same age) A father and husband of great faith and wisdom, and enjoying the fulfilling of a vision in working with his sons. Loves his wife like Christ loves the church!!! Looking forward to next years garden as he has expanded the site to about an acre.

What a blessing you all have been to our family this past year! Words cannot be typed to express our gratefulness for the prayers and encouragement that you have sent our way! May the Lord bless you with unmeasurable graces, provision, protection and fulfill your desires according to his will!! As we worship daily the birth of Jesus, may our hearts seek to honor the Lord God Almighty in heaven and on earth!!!

Cindy

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Happy Birthday!!!






I just wanted to let everybody know that it is my dear Mother's birthday today!! Happy birthday Mom!! You are such a blessing to us!!

We made a late night trip to town last night after she went to bed and got stuff to decorate. Surprisingly she didn't hear anything except the truck starting. (It's really hard to surprise Mom. :) Thankfully she was asleep when we got back and didn't hear us putting it all up, and accidently popping a few balloons!

We love you Mom!!

~Bethany

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Believe It or Not !!!!!!!



I do believe I am a candidate for the "Ripley's Believe It or Not." It is almost embarressing to post this and if you are shocked just think how much I was. After the supposed miscarriage on the 19th of Nov. and then the aftermath of a miscarriage, my body continued in the aftermath. I had talked with my midwife and we just thought give it some more time. Yesterday I just did'nt feel great, and then there were some ways my body was feeling that made me wonder. I considered calling the very nice Dr. that we had talked with several months ago, but then thought o, well I can just wait and call my midwife again. Terry and most of the children went to a little Christmas program last night and around 9 pm my body expelled what is" really" the miscarrriage, it was definetly different than what appeared on the 19th. I talked with my midwife and tried to tell her what it looked like and she was confident it was the placenta. SO... I hope and pray that is the end of this ordeal. I was shocked, glad, almost laughing that all this had transpired. I certainly do not mean to minimize the situation, but I felt like "what else." My friend said we had surpassed the Ripley's Believe it or Not!!!!!! I guess we rejoice again in the Lord for his protection in our obvious not knowing anthing was going on. Put it down for the "Morris Family" for unusual happenings!!!!!! May the Lord grant complete healing and fruitfulness according to his will:) This afternoon I was able to let my midwife examine what was expelled and she definetly says it was the placenta. So possibly what was expelled on the 19th was the sack and now the placenta. From the time of finding out we were pregnant back in June, it has been 6 months. I am thankful that the Lord has got us through this!!!!

These days last year with Joel were very special. You can tell by the pictures above that he was back to being his "little monkey" self! What is so fun too, he loved monkeys and had a special one he slept with alot. It is so hard to think on this end that we only had 15 days left to communicate with him before the seizure on the 3rd. I read some scriptures this morning in Jeremiah 31, that gave me a sense of hope. I am just praying those to the Lord. (v.2) That I would find grace in the wilderness, (v.9) I come before the Lord with weeping and supplications and the Lord says he will lead them and to walk by rivers of water in a straight way, (v.13) that the Lord would turn my mourning into joy, he would comfort me and make me rejoice from their sorrow, (v.16) Thus saith the Lord; refrain thy voice from weeping and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded... (v.17) And there is hope in thine end... I am trying to meditate on this manna from the Lord today. Once again, we are grateful to so many that continue to support our hearts in these days of precious memories from last year.

There have been some sweet times with Josiah, yesterday he drew me a picture of him and Balley and we were sitting together and he said "I love Balley!" It is so comforting to have Josiah, as so many parents that are seperated from their children through death, do not have that other twin the same size and age.
Anna took some neat pics last week with all the snow!!!!

May the Christ Child born in a manger beckon our hearts to bow before and adore HIM!!!!

Cindy

Friday, December 14, 2007

POWER !!!!!!!!!







We have POWER!!!!!! This morning around 10 am it came on! There was all kinds of "hooping and hollering." We made it, but it was not the easiest thing to do. I do not think I made a 100% on the test:( This morning I read a scripture in Ps. 44:4, Thou art my King, O God: command deliverances for Jacob. I decided to make that a prayer for all of us, to command deliverance in our little area that needed electricity. Thank the Lord He heard ALL of our prayers. We have been very busy getting everthing back in order plus some grocery shopping. It has been a long day!

There are so many days that are so meaningful with Joel, and today the 14th is one of them. Remember the "boots?" Before the regular dr. appointment Joel, Josiah and Anna went with us to the western store to get them. Supprisingly it was a very warm day, and I remember parking the van so we could enjoy a little walk to the clinic to meet Terry. Josiah marched along while I carried Joel. They were sooooo happy about their new boots and excited to show them to their daddy. They also got cowboy shirts to match, so they looked like little "cowboys." When we got home we went up to the hay bales to take pictures. Joel really did not want to cooperate. It was always so fun to watch him take his old boots off. He would step on the toe with one boot and when he had it off he would do the same with his foot to the other boot. The toes on his old ones are so flat! I told him not to do that with his new ones, so he found a new way by lifting his leg and shaking them off. We now have both pairs of boots on the hearth above the firplace and some pictures of him and Josiah. It is hard to look at all the "things" he has left behind. Boots, his red tractor, a favorite blankie and monkey. In his presence is fullness of joy and at his right hand are pleasures for evermore. Joel is happy wihout all the "things" that were so essential to him on this earth. I guess I am saving them for me, they bring comfort to my heart. On the day Joel died, the nurses did an impression of Joel's hands and feet. A few weeks ago I showed it to Josiah. We could not believe how much he had grown, like a whole toe. I forgot how small a 3 year old's foot is. It is very special to have these treasures.

Well... I guess we are getting back in our routine. Thank you so very much for praying for our family. We continue to recieve very touching e-mails. May the Lord encompass your families with his presence, peace and provision!

Cindy

Thursday, December 13, 2007

An Adventurous Day






No power yet... but some adventures! My dear friend Mrs. Burnett took me out to lunch for a special birthday treat. (it is not quite my b.d. but yesterday the 12th was the day that would work for her. We had a fun time although we both thought we knew where the resturant was that we wanted to go to and it was not there, so we appeared to look like little "old ladies" trying to remember where the place was. We finally called Terry and he helped our memory:)!!!!! Thank you my dear friend for the sweet time of food and fellowship. After getting back home Bethany and I with Josiah and Hosanna went to the laundry mat and filled 7 washers up. We had build up since last Sat. We then went to our friends, the Coles and got showers. After that we had to go back to the laundry mat and put the clothes in 5 dryers which was going to take 45 min. The library was across the street so we went over there and spent the time reading some books and coloring. We arrived home around 6 pm. A very sweet family had called us earlier and said they wanted to bring us a meal. The husband is a gourmet cook, so I knew we were in for a special treat. Jeremy brought the wonderful meal and even served it to us!!!! He served us a spring green salad with pomagrante seeds, walnuts and fetta cheese with banana-apple vinaigrette. Our main course was saute'ed asparagus, Cous Cous, and Shallow poached Tialapiu covered with homemade Hollandaise sauce. It a very special meal and we enjoyed it. So hats off to the "chef". Thank you Canning family for ministering to our family!!!! Around 8:20 pm we headed to OKC to visit the Burnett family and for the rest of the children to get much needed showers!!!!!! Tery ended up staying at home to keep the wood stove going and to monitour the generator.We visited with them and arrived back at home a little before midnight. Thank you Burnett's for the snacks, laughs and the 'HOT water!!!!! It was a very full day!! So many friends that we are thankful for. May the Lord bless you for being a blessing to us.

December 12th of last year was a most joyous day, the day we brought Joel home. I will never forget the "feel" of the house. My step-mother and the girls worked so hard to get everything sterile for Joel. He was a little timid for a short time, then he was ready for Bethany to take him out to explore and see his farm. He wanted to go see the "shickens". After that he sat on the patio and ate his "shili" all wrapped up. That evening if you remember on the DVD we had Christmas with my dad. I could hardly imagine at that time it would be our last with Joel. He had such a big day and he gave every inch of energy to enjoy it. That night Joel slept in our bed, but after getting settled back at home, he was ready to get in his own little bed the next night. It is just so hard to believe all this has happened when there is obvious evidence that it has. I keep trying to trust and find comfort that the Lord is working all this for our good and his glory, but my heart emotions seem to over ride my faith. I just wish sometimes it could all be "fixed" and it would be back to normal. There are so many thoughts, emotions constantly going, I get so tired in my mind thinking about it all. I guess I just need to learn to trust and stop wrestling. May the Lord have mercy to help me along the way.

The power circumstances do not look to good from the electric companies web site report. They said it could be the end of the week, mabe the weekend. A few days is managable, but I think I am ready for some power now. Cooking has been the hardest, but we are working on it. There is no way we could have stayed here without the generator going and allowing the water to work. So we have to look at the blessings and be grateful. We had a wonderful meal, we have clean clothes, and clean bodies and we are warm!!!!!

Well... I will post some pics tomorrow, Anna is good at that, and it is late so I had better get to bed. Thank you Lord, for your good gifts today.

Cindy

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

No Power, But Coffee !!!


We are still without power as of Tuesday 10:50 pm. This is quite challenging. I was able to cook alot of hamburgers on the outside grill today, so that will get us a few meals. The roads are fine to travel on, its just alot of inconvience in the home. The news is saying the crews are going towards the larger areas of power loss verses the smaller rural areas. Pray the Lord would direct the crews our way! We are thankful for Terry getting the generator hooked up to the well house, otherwise we would not have water and that would be very diffficult. The generator brings a sad rememberance. The only reason we have one after all these years was in preparing to bring Joel home as it was neede as a back up for the life support and other things he was hooked up to. My little Joel, once a healthy, happy 3 year old, loving his family and farm. Then enduring the trial of cancer to being strapped to so many wires and tubes...Now you are free, in the warmth of your Creator and in presence of the true source of Power and Light. You were so adventerous, you would be having a "big" time with our present circumstances. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts to us during this weather crcumstance. Also pray we will let brotherly love continue in our home, it can get a little stressful. :) Terry has been "fixin" his coffee on the wood stove!!!!

Cindy

Monday, December 10, 2007

Iced In !!!!!

We are iced in!!!! Our electricity went out at noon today. We were hopeful it would come back on soon but there are ao many out, I guess they are working as hard as they can. I called around 4 pm and the company said be prepared for at least two days and then someone said it could be longer. We have lived out here almost 14 years and have not been without power more that 4-6 hours. So I guess that is a blessing isn't it? It was ok until it started getting dark and needing to take care of business in the restrooom, so Terry got the generator going outside and now we have water and a few lights via extension cords. When the lights came on after he hooked up the generator the children were jumping around saying "Oh, we have the internet and the Christmas tree lights" So that is what is important:)!!!!!! We have heat through our wood stove which is a huge blessing even when we have electricity. This morning I had started boiling a whole chicken and then the power went so I took it over and placed it on the stove and finished it!!!!! I cannot imagine living in the days of no power. I am thankful for the conveniences that we are so blessed with. So... tonight we are all snuggled in our warm home, we are together, and they are watching some Vision Forum DVD's. Hopefully we will get our power soon! May the Lord bless you with warmth and thankful hearts of just being together!!

Anna has taken some nice "winter" pictures. It is hard to keep up all my Creative albums with all of her wonderful pictures!!!!

Cindy

Friday, December 7, 2007

Cookie Cutters...

Today, sugar cookies... last year on this day, Joel had surgery in the morning to put in the port that would be used to give his chemo. I wish I could have my cookies and Joel too. Another one of those very hard things was placing Joel in the hands of a stranger (the Dr.) and to see him carry Joel through the doors to surgery. He and Josiah have never known any other care givers besides his parents and his older siblings. They had sedated him a little, so he was pretty drowsey. Terry and I just wept and wept while we waited. It seemed so long, but they finally called us back to the recovery. The nurse lifted him out of the baby bed and I held him in a rocking chair for a short while, we then went over for another scan and then back to the room. The rest afternoon was quiet and peaceful. The children came up later and he and Josiah enjoyed watching Moody Science Videos. Caleb and Daniel brought their instruments up and played for him. He started his first chemo that evening around 9:00 p.m. I do not know if the deep pain will ever go away... I feel like I am just enduring the day as I remember all of these events.

The children had a great time making cookies. Joel LOVED cutting out cookies too. I am trying to do fun things with them, but I feel like a "cripple" hobbling along.

Elijah's "PBR party" went great! The hamburgers were sooo good!!! It was a fun evening!!!

I found this very touching poem today, it helped my heart to think and be happy for Joel. May it bless you too as we need to focus on the Lord during Christmas.

Cindy


Christmas in Heaven

I see the countless CHRISTMAS TREES around the world below with tiny lights like HEAVEN’S STARS reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so SPECTACULAR please wipe away that tear for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.
I hear the many CHRISTMAS SONGS that people hold so dear but the SOUND OF MUSIC can't compare with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here.
I have no words to tell you of the JOY their voices bring for it is beyond description to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.
I know HOW MUCH YOU MISS ME, I see the pain inside your heart for I am spending CHRISTMAS WITH JESUS CHRIST this year.
I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR or the PEACE here in this place Can you just imagine CHRISTMAS WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face
I'll ask him to LIFT YOUR SPIRIT as I tell him of your love so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER as you lift your eyes above.
Please let your HEARTS BE JOYFUL and let your SPIRIT SING for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN and I’m walking WITH THE KING.
~ by Wanda Bencke

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

#17...Elijah


Happy 17th Birthday to Elijah!!!!!!!!! .......when I think of Elijah the first thing that comes to mind is working machine,(when there is no work, he's bored) physically strong, mechanic, welder, gifted at playing the trumpet, loves to rent tractors and dozers, adventerous, cattleman, sensitive heart for the Lord and for his family... especially Mercy, who's nickname is "Diesel", guess who came up with that one...Elijah of course:) Whew, our birthday line-up has started again, Dec. Jan. Feb. March April!!! Elijah our 4th born, who was due on Nov. 27th but wanted to make his mommy WAIT, so we decided to be induced on the 5th of Dec. He and I have a birthday together, my spiritual birthday, 1982. When Elijah was born, we had no more room in the" inn " (car) so the Lord provided a station wagon and it lasted til over 200,000 miles. It caught fire as Terry drove to work many years ago and we had Elijah's picture taken on top of it after it was hauled in to the mechanics. It is just another reminder of the Lord's faithfulness to provide right when there is a need. Elijah has brought great joy and alot of funny adventures and sayings when he was smaller. I remember one night he was trying to get his nighties on by hisself, they were these "Kansas City Royal" top and pants. All of a sudden we heard him screaming in the other room "I want my Kansas City WAR pants". He is alot of fun for his younger siblings too, he is most willing to "hoop and holler" around with the them!!!!! Bethany can keep him busy with welding projects for her goats and he once again pulls through with a top of the line product! The Lord has blessed us with these precious gifts from him. Each one is gifted with unique talents and abilities. May the Lord bless you today Elijah, with a desire and a vision to pursue his kingdom, that you would follow the Lord all the days of your life and Lord willing raise up godly generations for his glory!!! I love you and I am blessed by your life!!

Last night "Paps"(my dad and step-mother Shirley, (my mother died with cancer in 1993) celebrated Christmans with the children. It went well. As you can see the picture of Josiah and his paps, a good time is going on around here. My dad and Shirley have been a tremendous blessing to us. The Lord has used them in many ways to provide for our family. I am grateful to the Lord for bringing them together, her husband had cancer too and died about 10 months before my mother. The children LOVE when the grandparents come for a visit, Terry's too.

It was Dec. 7th that we made our first blog entery with Joel. Anna came up with the "weloveyoujoel" blog name and Bethany typed many of the enteries while we were at the hospital. Today, on this day last year Joel was enduring great tests, bone scans, cat scans and migb(sp) scans. He had to go most of the day without eating. It was a very rough day. By the evening when all the family came up, he was doing well and enjoyed their company. The pics from the previous post were of this day. The Burnett family ministered to us greatly as it was Elijah's 16th BD, and we could not be together and celebrate his birthday. The B's went to our house and had a party that evening with Elijah and the crew. So many came to our hurting hearts and ministered and it will always be remembered.

Thank you for praying for us at this time, I do feel the grace but my mommy heart is sad and wishful. I want to embrace God's will and to learn to give thanks in everthing...hopefully I can.

Well.... I just wanted to wish Elijah a special day!!!! Tonight... grilled hamburgers, brownies and ice-cream was his request at his "PBR party":) (Professional Bull Riding)

Cindy

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Memories...


This is hard... the dates, the days, memories...last year on this coming Monday Joel went to his blood check appointment, but ended up being admitted to the hospital with intense testing starting on Tuesday. Tuesday afternoon we recieved the information from the Dr. that she was 90% sure Joel had neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer. Then further testing on Wednesday proved and confirmed it to be so. Some of the memories I think I wish could be erased. Monday evening after getting into the room the nurses started trying to get his IV going, it was an ordeal, he kept saying "I'm all done??" and of course crying. Finally after a very long time of poking him they got it in his foot. Then on Tuesday after the bone extraction on both hips, and when they were done, we were able to go in and bring him back to the room. To walk in the room and see him laying there, coming out of the sedation was so very difficult. His eyes were open, but he had not woke up yet and his eyeballs were just jerking back and forth. I want to remember everything about him, but these memories are deep pains to my heart. Then there are the sweet memories of all the wonderful people that visited Joel and all the gifts they blessed him with. He had so much fun with the special toys, stuffed animals, books, treasures that I hold on to. So... as the days approach, there are lots of tears. I can just look at his little red tractor and cry, try to read the book that Josiah brings to me, "Charlie Brown Christmas", (Joel got it at the hospital) and barely make it through it. Seeing some of the leftover gifts in a closet that I was saving for him to have new things to take to the hospital brings the tears. One day I went outside and it just had a certain smell, which made me think of a particular day that he just got up and went outside to play. I just have to give in to the monster of grief, crying releases some of those deep pains. It is so hard to think all this has happened on one hand, yet I know it is reality. There still seems to be a numbing feeling. I just need grace to get through these very real memories of last year. On that Sunday, Caleb and Daniel had picked a song for our church service not knowing what was before us, "Like a River Glorious", the one verse really speaks to my heart... every joy and trial falleth from above, traced upon the dial, by the Sun of Love, we may trust him fully, all for us to do;they who trust him wholly, find him wholly true. And the chorus, Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blessed; finding as he promised, perfect peace and rest. That sums up what I need to do!!! My Joel... I miss you, I love you!!!!!!

Last year my dad was here on the 12th when Joel came home and we had Christmas that evening, he is coming this Tuesday for our annual Christmas get together. As I look towards that, right now it seems like it is going to be hard, but I must trust the Lord for grace for that time. I still have my "list" from last year that had all the childrens names on it with their ideas for Christmas. Joel's is there with his little requests that I wrote down. It was so hard to write the list this year and not see his name on it. I know he is experiencing what Christmas is really about. His first Christmas with Jesus! Josiah and Hosanna were talking today of where Joel sat as he opened his presents from his grandparents. I think they remember very well the day we did all of that.

Hopefully this coming week, we are going to plant some flower bulbs on Joel's grave. As I think towards the spring, it will be a beautiful site to remind me of "life". We have planted about 550 in beds around our house. That will be something to look forward to!!!!!

I know this is somewhat short, but I just feel kind of "blah", sad in my heart...but somewhere amongst the emotions there is the rock of truth that I must believe... that God is Sovereign!!!!

More good news with Vision Forum, they have ordered more DVD's, a total of 850. O, the screening went very well. Around 100 people. We were blessed with their presence and the kind words they gave to us after. We have recieved e-mails from folks that have ordered the DVD through Vision Forum, and they have been very encouraging. Joel is continuing to shine his little light!!!
Anna was snapping the camera this morning as we were getting ready for church and then she took some fun pictures of Mercy and Josiah. I am so thankful for the pictures, I just do not seem to have the time like I use to!
Blessings and to all a goodnight!!
Cindy

Monday, November 19, 2007

The Goodness of the Lord!!!!!!!


Psalm 102:13 Thou shalt arise and have mercy upon Zion: for the time to favor her yea the set time is come. Three or four days ago I read this and asked the Lord for his favor and that the time of cleansing my womb would come. I was somewhat hopeful but I did feel like I needed more faith in making the request.



Psalm 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. This morning I asked the Lord to allow me to see his goodness in the land of the living...like soon, I was making a desperate request, I needed to see something that was tangible to my eyes, I was desiring the Lord to have mercy upon my womb. My heart was growing so weary of waiting. Yesterday morning there were some signs that something might be happening. A few more signs in the afternoon, but by evening nothing. I was getting hopeful and then I was down again. This morning nothing, and so I talked with the Lord and was pleading with him to have mercy. About mid morning the Lord granted mercy and his goodness was put upon my womb...the miscarriage is now complete, the gestational sack has come out, my womb has been cleansed!!!!!! An undeserved answer to prayer, but it is with great thanksgiving to the Lord for bringing this to pass. Fourteen weeks of waiting since no heartbeat was detected. I wonder if I could be put in the Guiness book of records? Waiting was the only way of peace for me, because I just could not get any other direction, but it was certainly not easy for me. I am ashamed to say that my faith grew very weak and many days I felt like the Lord was not any where near my situation. When our circumstances are smooth I "feel" like the Lord is near, but as the trial grew long, I "felt" like the Lord was so far away. I suppose that is evidence of needed growth in his grace. May the Lord help my heart to simply trust him. So we are rejoicing that the Lord has answered our prayers and yours, as many of you have offered prayers on our behalf. Make sure and tell the Lord thank you for his mercy to the Morris family. We look forward to what the Lord's will, will be for us in the future for fruitfulness.

Thank you so very much for your heartfelt words and prayers concerning this situation. As chapters in our lives come and go I want to learn more to trust and have confidence that he is accomplishing his eternal purposes through all these situations. I testify today that I have seen the "goodness of the Lord" on this day that he has made!!!!

~Cindy