The Goodness of the Lord!!!!!!!

Psalm 102:13 Thou shalt arise and have mercy upon Zion: for the time to favor her yea the set time is come. Three or four days ago I read this and asked the Lord for his favor and that the time of cleansing my womb would come. I was somewhat hopeful but I did feel like I needed more faith in making the request.



Psalm 27:13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. This morning I asked the Lord to allow me to see his goodness in the land of the living...like soon, I was making a desperate request, I needed to see something that was tangible to my eyes, I was desiring the Lord to have mercy upon my womb. My heart was growing so weary of waiting. Yesterday morning there were some signs that something might be happening. A few more signs in the afternoon, but by evening nothing. I was getting hopeful and then I was down again. This morning nothing, and so I talked with the Lord and was pleading with him to have mercy. About mid morning the Lord granted mercy and his goodness was put upon my womb...the miscarriage is now complete, the gestational sack has come out, my womb has been cleansed!!!!!! An undeserved answer to prayer, but it is with great thanksgiving to the Lord for bringing this to pass. Fourteen weeks of waiting since no heartbeat was detected. I wonder if I could be put in the Guiness book of records? Waiting was the only way of peace for me, because I just could not get any other direction, but it was certainly not easy for me. I am ashamed to say that my faith grew very weak and many days I felt like the Lord was not any where near my situation. When our circumstances are smooth I "feel" like the Lord is near, but as the trial grew long, I "felt" like the Lord was so far away. I suppose that is evidence of needed growth in his grace. May the Lord help my heart to simply trust him. So we are rejoicing that the Lord has answered our prayers and yours, as many of you have offered prayers on our behalf. Make sure and tell the Lord thank you for his mercy to the Morris family. We look forward to what the Lord's will, will be for us in the future for fruitfulness.

Thank you so very much for your heartfelt words and prayers concerning this situation. As chapters in our lives come and go I want to learn more to trust and have confidence that he is accomplishing his eternal purposes through all these situations. I testify today that I have seen the "goodness of the Lord" on this day that he has made!!!!

~Cindy

Hum Drum

We do not need a special day

to bring you to our minds

The days we do not think of you

are very hard to find

Each morning when we wake,

we know that you are gone

And not many know the heartache

as we try to tarry on

Our hearts still ache with saddness
and secret tears still flow

What it meant to lose you

no one will ever know

Our thoughts are always with you

your place no one can fill

In life we loved you dearly

in death we love you still

If tears could make a staircase

and heartaches make a lane

We'd walk the path to heaven

and bring you back again

We hold you close within our hearts

and there you will remain

To walk with us throughout our lives

till we meet again

Our family chain is broken now

and nothing seems the same

But as the heavens call us one by one

the chain will link again

Hum drum, mundane, ordinary.... that is what it has been lately around here. I guess if I could give any advice, it would be give thanks for those plain, simple days that sometimes seem like you do not accomplish much. For last year we were in the middle of the unknown and in 21 days we would begin to walk in the darkest trial of our lives and to hear the most dreaded knews to our hearts, " your son has cancer, neuroblastoma, stage IV, the worst stage, the only hope besides a miracle of healing to save his life is chemo and a rigerous roadmap ahead of you"The scripture is true, "do not boast about tomorrow, for we do not know what a day will bring forth". Our family with the Lord's help tries to always say "Lord willing" to any plans. As I look over small journal entries on small pieces of paper of what was going on in Joel's little life and think of what he was experiencing on particular days, it is hard to my heart of these days last year. Of all that Joel was going through, yes he had winey days, and mostly wanted to be held, but he did have his smile and alot of days that he grabbed our hearts with his sweet unique voice and his funny sayings. He never complained of his hardships of not being able to do any of the activities as he watched his siblings. It brought great joy as they would play around him and he would watch with utmost enjoyment. I miss him more than ever as these are very memorable days. So.... love those plain, maybe even boring days!!!!!!!

Lets see, what else is going on around here... Terry and the boys are busy with the new family business, Shekinah Springs Farm and Construction. They have many jobs ahead. Right now they are building a barn and after that another barn, concrete work, and after Thanksgiving a big job in Eufaula, Ok. It is amazing as when they finish one job the Lord provides another. This was Terry's vision a year ago and through the Lord orchestrating all the plans, Terry's and our families desire was fulfilled. It is certainly a leap of faith for me because I have been grocery shopping every two weeks for 10 years or longer and now I am hoping I can still do that:) Terry's favorite saying in our house is "THE LORD WILL PROVIDE" He does demonstrate greater faith than I, which for me is good because I need a crutch so often!!!

Terry and I had our 21st aniversary on November 8th, and his mom and dad celebrated their 50th last Saturday. We went to the Houston area to join in on that great day! It was such a nice time with family and friends.

We do have some exciting news with the DVD's. The Vision Forum ministry has requested 700 copies of Joel's Journey. It is very comforting to my heart that Joel's story is going forth and that he is not forgotten. Also John-Clay is having a screening at a church tomorrow night (Fri) There could be 150 people there, more or less. They are planning to show two more films besides Joel's. One of them is one that John-Clay helped on and it was also entered in the film festival. I'll let you know how that goes later. Ther is another distibutor too, but I do not know his web site, John-Clay has kind of been in charge of that. Thank you for all the tender and encouraging words on the DVD.

As for me we are still waiting, because of not having any direction at this time, that is all I can do. There are only two options, the D&C or a pill that can be used to start contractions and would possibly cleanse the womb. So if the Lord brings it to your mind, pray for us on that.

Bethany has designed a web site for our business and is still under construction, if you like you can take a look. http://www.shekinahspringsfarm.com/ Bethany has done a great job and Anna too, taking the pictures. Don't forget to put in your Christmas order for soap. The lavender scented is available now.

With Thanksgiving ahead of us, I know for all of us there is so much to be thankful for... I am thankful for a little boy named Joel that the Lord allowed me to give birth to and nourish and to be blessed with for 3 years 4 months and 10 days. It was all too short, and that is why I look forward to eternity, because I can hold him and cuddle him forever... I love you Joel...

~~Cindy

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!

We Won!!!!!! We Won!!!!!!!!! Joel's Journey won the Biblical Family Catagory. Terry, Caleb, Daniel, Bethany, Elijah and Anna left Thursday to go to the San Antonio Film Festival. Thursday, Friday and Saturday was spent going to films you wanted to see. Joel's was shown Friday morning. Terry said many came up to him and the family after and said kind words to them. The ceremony of awards started Saturday evening. Terry called around 8:30p.m. and told us Joel's Journey won. John-Clay, Caleb and Daniel went up to recieve the award. There were only 4 of these "Jubilee Awards" given out. Terry said it was a bronze statue type and weighed about 20 pounds. I hope Anna has a picture of them with the award! Out of about 45 films Joel's Journey was in the top 4. It really was a great suprise to us all. Terry said John-Clay said a few words of appreciation to Caleb and Daniel for composing the music and to the Morris family. This is so wonderful!!! Joel's Journey was also announced as one of the 4-5 finalists for the Documentary catagory as well, but another film won that one. Terry said as they announced the few finalists for each catagory, they showed a small clip of the film. He said it was a clip of Joel laying in the hospital bed and then of Dara the nurse speaking. After the ceremony the winners were asked to go upstairs for pictures. Terry was able to offer Mr. Doug Phillips (president of the Vision Forum Ministeries) a word of gratefulness for granting Joel's Journey to recieve this award. Mr. Phillips told Terry that the film brought tears to he and his daughter as they viewed it. He told Terry that he didn't win because his son died, but it was his courage for standing for the truth! After that the boys and John-Clay had a few moments of conversation with Mr. Phillips as well. They were very encouraged with that short little meeting with him! I am sooooo thankful that our family was there!!!!! John-Clay's family was there too! My heart is uplifted as I think of Joel's little life being before so many. I hope someway that he is able to know what a blessing he is being and that his story is going on still. May the Lord use Joel's life to let others know that "all of life is precious". O my sweet Joel I wished I could give you a hug for a job well done, for being so brave, for letting God use your life to glorify him!!! I am so grateful for Terry and his commitment to the scriptures when the clouds of darkness were trying to envelope us.

This morning I read some scriptures in Job. I have been struggling these last few weeks. Just being sad with the Lord to be honest. Having a miscarriage is one thing but the delay of this has been hard, plus just the time of all that was happening last Oct\Nov. I feel like my faith is thread bare. I am finding it difficult to hope and trust the Lord. The hurt seems so deep from Joel and the miscarrige. I hope it is all just the grieving process, and of course I feel like the enemy is putting so many things in my mind that are not true about the Lord. I want to be where the Lord wants me to be in this process, but I do not know if I am. The scriptures lifted me up as I again read that the Lord was in control of all the breaths that Joel would take, Job12:9-10, Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this? In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:22, He discovereth deep things out of darkness, and bringeth out to light the shadow of death. I prayed this morning that the Lord would show me light in this death of darkness, I felt like he did by allowing Joel's Journey to win and Joel's little light is shinning!!! One more was Job14:5,7-9 Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou has appointed his bounds that he cannot pass; For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease.Though the root thereof wax old in the earth, and the stock thereof die in the ground; Yet through the scent of water it will bud, and bring forth boughs like a plant. As I read that this morning, I was thinking of the DVD, that Joel's story can continue through this journey he made, and it brought my heart comfort that he is not forgotten. O this journey of grief is one that is inevitable to us all, but a child seperation through death is most painful. What a day it will be when there are no more tears, sickness, death and sin!!! I know there are many that still read Joel's Journey and we are grateful, I am really writing all this for me, it is like therapy and I want to journal for the future of our children, that they can remember the journey, especially the younger ones that are not understanding all this path and I want to be able to remember all of the Lord's doings when I am (Lord willing) so old and my memory might fail me, then I can just read about it!! So as long as I can I will be just making enteries as we continue this journey. Again, so many of you express your prayers for our family and we are so very thankful for you! You have held our arms up!!!!

So since Thursday, we have been "home alone". It has been different being here without all the other "dads" and "moms". Wow, they do alot around here. I am not use to doing laundry and fixing all the meals. We have done some "fun" things too, like go to Atwoods and get cover-alls for Josh and Josiah, cook hamburgers and hotdogs and have our favorite, ice-cream:) Micah(13) and Andrew(11) have done an outstanding job of taking care of all the outside chores. Joshua(9) has helped soo much with Bethany's little "pooch", Hosie and Miah have helped keep things in order inside and help with "Mercy get in to everthing girl" Josiah has done well too as long as he can have Hosie to play all the "stuff" he wants to play. We will be glad to get everbody back together!!!

The family will travel back tomorrow (Lord willing) so pray for safety. I hope to post some pictures here Sunday evening. May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you!!!!! The picture of Joel and Josiah was taken Oct.30,2006 in their outside fort, see he was still doing well. That beast of cancer is so ruthless!! Hosanna, Josiah and Jeremiah were recently having fun on all the haybales!!!!

~~~Cindy

DVD'S Are Here!!!!!!!!!

We heard a scream..."the UPS man is here!!!!! Praise the Lord the DVD's are here. We are going to get the envelopes tody and get them ready to go. We are looking so forward to what the Lord will do through Joel's little life. We have many addresses that you all gave us, but if you failed to e-mail us your address, let us know. Our desire is that the message of how precious life is to go forth. Thank you for being so patient. Blessings to you!!!!!!!!

~~~~Cindy

Cone to Cooler!!!!!

Well here is another inumerable blessing of a large family... everbody has a job on "butchering day"!!!!! Friday we processed about 62 chickens and today we did about 55 more. On Friday it was just our family and today two other families joined us to learn for themselves plus offering their help. Thank you Gellenbeck and Fleshman families!!!!! Here is how it went... Andrew(11) and Daniel, Joshua (9) too, were the ones that put them in the cone and did the dreaded "act". The bird then went to Caleb who dipped the bird in 140 degree water for one minute, we called him the "big dipper". Micah was the timer man for Caleb. Next Elijah held the bird over the plucker, I would not want to pull all those feathers out by hand!!!! Terry and Bethany are next with the insides being pulled out, we will not post those pictures!!!!!! They went next to cool water vats, where Hosanna, Jeremiah and Josiah gave them a scrubbing and pulled any remaining feathers out, and our sweet Mercy cheered our hearts with her precious smile! After 20 minutes in the water I then took them in the house and gave their final cleaning and Anna weighed them and packaged them. There you have it...from "cone to cooler". We did have 63 pre-sold, so the Lord granted provision in several ways. This was our second time to do this and we have learned alot. Now, the crew says, "let's fry some chicken"!!!!!!

Last year we processed in July and Joel and Josiah played so happily outside in their treehouse. There seems to be hardly an activity that my heart does not feel the pain. I think that I must learn that the pain will never go away, but I just need to pray the Lord be glorified in my life. I miss Joel for Josiah, there are moments that he just sits and plays alone and I can just see Joel there, his buddy. I told Josiah the other day that (as I kissed him) that the left side kisses were for him and the right side kisses were for Balley. He smiled and he turns his head now for our special little time.

Good news on the DVD, it is enroute to our house!!! Lord willing we should be getting them out maybe by the end of the week. This project has been alot of work for many people. We are thankful to you, John-Clay, Caleb and Daniel, Jerry and Tami Clark, and many more. We are praying the Lord will use Joel's life to honor the Lord and allow this DVD to be a blessing to others.

I read a scripture this morning about the woman who had an infirmity for 18 years. I have been blessed not to have had my need for that long. As I read that it spoke to my heart, it said the Lord saw her and called her to himself and said "woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity."
I guess I just want to place myself before the Lord and say "if it be your will touch my need too." We are still praying the Lord would let my body expel this naturally. I don't know if I can wait indefinetely, but right now waiting is the most peaceful.

May the Lord bless your family with a restful Lord's Day and may the Spirit of God teach our hearts as we hear the WORD!!!! Be looking for the DVD, Lord willing!!!!!!!!!

~~~~Cindy