Mother and Child....

Mother and Child

Blessed times thirteen

What a privilege the Lord has deemed

Mother , child, a bond only she holds

Our lives intertwined, awaiting birth to unfold

Nine months of holding and feeling you move

Our lives intertwined, joys to be due

The first time to see your sweet little frame

Our lives intertwined, I'll never be the same

Your in my arms now, our story begins

Our lives intertwined, neither death can end

Getting bigger you are, now holding your hand

Our lives intertwined, your learning to stand

Memories are in my heart, your tears and your hurts

Our lives intertwined, my hand brushing way the dirt

Stories and games, all the fun we shared

Our lives intertwined, God's blessings not spared

Though your growing up, can't hold you like the start

Our lives intertwined, I'll hold you forever in my heart

Places, hopes and desires are before us

Our lives intertwined, together we'll trust

Since together we began, always a part of me

Our lives intertwined, my child forever you'll be

The plans that God has, might lead us apart

Our lives intertwined, a love never to depart

Once again our lives will intertwine, as eternity we'll spend

Just like the start, Mother and Child again!!

To my wonderful children, its because of you that I can be a mother!!!!! (((((Loves))))

Alot of feelings and emotions for me on Mother's Day.....I am so blessed, yet I wish we could all be together. I wrote this to my children that the Lord has granted me the privelege to bare, nourish and seeking to train for his kingdom. I really am a mommy to 16, as we have had 3 miscarriages. The bond a mother feels with a child is somewhat a wonder, maybe a little like what heaven is like. Being a part of work that God is doing in that secret place of the womb, to have the extra 9 months with them that none other can have, to nourish them with your own body knowing God has used you to allow them to grow......being a mother is one of the greatest blessings I have experienced. I am so grateful to the Lord that He has given a strong and healthy womb, that He has given all these rewards, I am so grateful I will always be Joel's mommy, I am grateful for each one, from the first born to the 13th born, they are forever a part of me. So it is because of YOU that I have the opportunity to be a mother. I Love You, nothing can ever seperate that love.....I will get to be your mother forever!!!!!

Of course I am grateful for my own mother. She had an incredibly generous spirit, she loved her grandchildren, she blessed my life, and I miss her very much. I have a wonderful mother-in-law, what memories she too has made with her grandchildren. "NaNa" is a blessing. May the Lord give each of you a very special day!!!

Cindy

Good King Josiah...

Good King Josiah

My little good king Josiah so brave

Quite a journey you too have made

A twin, a brother, a friend to Joel

I know there will be an emptiness to hold

When in the womb, toes hands, being formed

Always at his side, awaiting to be born

Joel, first one out to lead the way

God knew the plans ahead, yours to stay

Infinite wisdom from the start

Mercy given, your here to help my heart

You were so brave, when Balley had to fight

The dreadful disease that seemed to come overnight

When your brother lay and could not walk

You sat by his side, played, laughed and talked

You shared your toys bringing smiles to his face

You prayed little prayers with your hands folded in place

You touched and kissed and said "I love you"

Faithful and brave, a brother so true

His mission, his work has been finished up

Then Jesus called "come home" he triumphed

Your hugs, your touch, I still feel him through you

He's still apart, though years were few

Be brave, be strong, there's plans for you too

Trusting Jesus, your Creator whom worship is due

May the Lord give you memories so sweet

As you think of your twin at Jesus feet

Be brave, be strong, onward you must go

Living for Jesus and plans he will bestow

Good King Josiah, forever a twin

By his mercy, eternity you'll spend

Once again together you'll be

With Joel and your whole family

Your so brave, "Siah"

I love you, from Mommy

I just wanted to write something to Josiah, he is inseperable from Joel, in my memory, in everything.....I was cutting his hair earlier and I was just so happy and thankful that he was here. His little yellow hair was just glowing, I couldn't help but look at him and he even ask me "why you have to watch me?" It's a feeling that is unexplainable, they came together, they were everthing together, now there is just one here and one there, heaven is near. I was not really sad, but in awe of how Joel is still so close, they were knit together in the womb, they knew each other before we even knew them. His plans are more wonderful than I can comprehend........

My Redeemer Liveth......

I have started reading in the book of Job again, what a man of faith, strength and hope he had. He not only had to face the agony of loss with his children, but he had to deal with friends and family that were not a source of encouragement to his aching heart. It gave me a grateful heart for all the people the Lord has brought my way to encourage us as we have been on this journey. There is so much there as what I read this morning. The all familiar verse that states "For I know that my redeemer liveth." For me anyway, until I was brought to a place of desperation, I do not think I realized how much hope hinges on that verse. If he did not live, trials would swallow us, if he did not live, I would not get to see Joel again, if he did not live, I would not have hope for eternity, if he did not live, this life would be meaningless. There is not a place so low, so dark, so lonely that because he lives we cannot come forth and have the hope to go on with life. As I read about Job, I guess it gave me a "I can do this, he did, he made it." There are probably no seconds in my thoughts that I do not think of Joel, he is everywhere around here. I miss him more now it seems, but one day there will be a tomorrow that never ends. I told Terry (since I look at life in pictures) I saw myself as a woman bent over with a huge burden on her back that is permanent and I am trudging along. He said thats the problem, we just need to change your picture. He said look at youself as a soldier, wearing a badge of honor for suffering, like stand up and walking with strength and honor for having the opportunity to be a partaker of Christ's suffering. That is a much better picture for sure, I just have to see it myself, with my own eyes. May the Lord have mecy to get me there.

Not alot of news around here. The guys are working hard. The Lord is providing work. On the 7th was 1 year that Terry left his corporate job and started working with his sons. We have not had to eat cattail roots so that is a testimony to the Lord of his promise to provide!! It has been a good year. Alot has been accomplished with the work of their hands. They have met alot of people and had opportunities to share the Lord with. It is quite interesting that on the 7th last year as they had a going away party for Terry and his two bosses were there, and now those two bosses have lost their jobs, so it is the goodness and providence of the Lord that he granted the events to come about and how the Lord worked the changes that were taking place for our good. We are grateful and fully acknowledge this is the Lord's doings!!!

Farm news....the chickens out in the pasture have about three, maybe three and one half weeks left before the big day. I only have about two chickens left in the freezer so the timing is good for us. If you live close and want to place your order just e-mail us and let us know. Next goat show is on the 17th in Ft. Worth, but we might not make that one. We'll see as how the Lord might work.

This was pretty boring, but I can handle boring, I have had enough non-boring that will last a lifetime. I will think of the verse, boring/trails...... my redeemer lives!!!!

Cindy

The Three of Us......

We did not bring any ribbons home from the show ring at the goat show but we have "real treasures" and memories that will fill our hearts!! It is a blessing to be together and we are grateful to my dad and Shirley for their generosity in helping us out with the use of their truck!! We looked like big wigs anyway:) I drove our van up on Saturday and we had no opportunity to get lost as he had one of those GPS gadgets that he was steadily pushing buttons on and then the lady would tell you which way to turn, it displayed your speed, it shows the upcoming road and the curves that are ahead, it figures your time of arrival and how far you have to go to get there. Maybe thats a good thing for some but to me it was quite annoying. Since my my thoughts tend to go upward often, I started thinking about "my GPS," that would be the Holy Spirit and the Word! Our destination....heaven, Yep, there is gonna be alot of curves on the way, sometimes we speed up and then other times we seem like we are going nowhere, when we will arrive?.......well, for Joel his miles/years were 3 years, 4 months, and 10 days. We do not know when we will arrive, but we are certain to get there if we have the "real GPS in our hearts," the Spirit of God. The most wonderful thought is, that no matter where we travel, how hard the road is, and if it takes a long time or short, the Lord is always ahead of us! Travelin on........

Being at a place for 11 hours with small children pushes you to be prepared and so we were. We took playdough, coloring books and a little table. Worked out real well. They hardley ever get to play playdough, so it was a real treat. The excitement in their eyes with all the little plastic stuff they could squeeze and push their dough through was thrilling. It kept them going for a looong time. Mercy did really well too, she toddled around and was jabbering and of course being a show in herself! I will have to tell you the best time for me was when Josiah, Mercy and myself had ourselves a "little worship service" outside! We went on a little walk over to my dads truck, I threw them up in the back to play around and I stood over at the edge and we talked and since I was standing by this nice truck, it reminded me to pray, so I just said a prayer out loud to the Lord and asked for his provision for a truck for the guys to have for work. Mercy then proceeded to lay her head in her hands over on the wheel well and she prayed too. Then "good king Josiah" said he knew how to pray out loud, so I said, well why don't you pray for a truck for the boys. He bowed and bent over and prayed too. He stood back up and then went over again and prayed some more. I asked him if he prayed again for the truck and he shrugged his shoulders, and I said did you pray for "Balley?" He looked out towards the sky and said he was going to make something when he got home. I asked him, for Balley? He said yes. I told him that he and Joel were buddies and if he were here he would be right here in this truck playing with him. I told him I missed him and I had tears by that time, he came over gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "I miss him too." I squeezed him and said Joel Morris and Mercy says "Joel Morris" in her 2 year old voice. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Matt. 18:20. For me, that was worth going....it was the three of us and He met with us. All I can say to that is Amen!!

I read a verse that gave me a picture in my mind, Ps. 125:2, As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people from henceforth even forever. If I am surrounded by the Lord like a mountain, then nothing can come in without his knowing or granting. Nothing can penetrate the barrier that he is not wanting. As I think about that, I am enjoying the comfort that though I am beset with trials and wonderings they have only come through the barriers by his providences and workings, so it must be for my good. And the wonderful truth too, is even as I am surrounded now, in this life, the promise holds throughout all eternity.....forever! Still seeking to trust......

Nothing big planned this week, just school, regular maintance and this could be the first Saturday as of right now that we can be home!!!! May and June are my favorite months! I like the not so hot weather but mostly all the beatiful flowers. Our rose bushes are abounding with flowers and buds. We have this one red bush that I claim smells like heaven and Jesus. How can anything ever smell better? He said He was the "Rose of Sharon." Of all the flowers, the rose is considered the prime and utmost of flowers, I know why! Josiah keeps bringing bouquets of roses and he hides them behind his back and says, "I have a prize for you." He then puts them in a "case/vase." Before Joel went through all this, I would have probably said "don't pull those off," but now they are treasures recieved from a little boy that is a twin to another little boy!

May we have confidence that we are surrounded by the Lord as mountains.....

Cindy

My Expection Is From Him....

"Paps" is here......now the fun begins!!!!! They took a look around, hoed the potatoes, played some games and we had supper, Poppy Seed Chicken over Wild Rice, a huge garden salad and Parsley Potatoes. We could not get him to eat some fresh broccoli, he said it looked like "weeds." Anna made a Chocalate Decadant Pie.....yummy!!! Later we were all outside and the weather was stirring up with thunder, then rain and then the HAIL started, first it was pea size then nickle and close to quarter size. The children were out in it, getting "pinged" on the head! As best as I can remember it has rained most times he has visited. They played some more games, listened to the weather awhile and then we wrapped the night up.

I asked the Lord a question this morning before I read my Bible. I asked him "what should I expect with my situation, should I expect to recieve another blessing or is it all over?" (since my body seems not working normally) I read a scripture in Ps. 62:5, My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expection is from him. Well, that was not the black and white answer I wanted but many and most times his answers lead to trust instead of instant results. Once again, the Lord brings my heart before his throne to simply trust in him and my answer is always found in Him. Like I told Terry, I could be ok with not having another baby, but why can't my body just work right. And really if it was working right and if in the days to come there are more neagative tests, I would still be in the same place of wondering about His plan. At least I am beginning to see that though circumstances carry us to places that I prefer not to be, it is ultimately the Lord that brings fullfilment and a peace that comes from knowing we are trusting and resting in his plans. The other scripture I read is one that needs to be worked in me, Ps.92:4 For thou, Lord hast made me glad through thy work: I will triumph in the works of thy hands. I really need this in my heart, to be glad and to triumph( over all the discouraging thoughts that I sometimes have) with the works that the Lord is doing. This walk of faith is quite the journey....growing, learning, re-learning and the end results are more glorious than we can comprehend. Still seeking to trust.....

This morning "buzzing" around getting things ready to go. They got the trailer ready, chores are done, now we are doing things inside. The guys are due to arrive around 12:30, they will grab some lunch and then they will be off. This afternoon I need to get some hamburger buns made for our BBQ sandwiches tomorrow, do some cleaning in preparations for Sunday as church will be here. We already have the meal ready and Anna is working on the dessert. I will go out and pick some lettuce for a salad, so it looks pretty good for gettng things together.

I got Josiah, Mercy and Hosanna some little lawn chairs to take to the show, Mercy has had the grandest time with hers. She opens and closes, sits and moves it all over. It was funny, when I got them home Anna said when she was little, she always wanted one of those. I said well, why didn't you ask, and she said something like, I did'nt think you would get one. I am glad God does not parent like me, I am glad he grants the desires of our hearts and blesses us with good gifts. Bethany added that she always wanted an umbrella. I felt bad for not fulfilling something so simple, but I did not know. That makes me think too, that we should always make our requests known unto the Lord, as he searches the earth looking for those with a perfect heart towards him that he might show himself strong to. I will let him know my request.......

The goat crew is off and Terry put Paps in charge of some more planting. Anna wanted some pumpkins and they also planted cucumbers, yellow squash and zucchini. Oh, remember the hopes of corn, well like I said it is only Lord willing. We got the biggest rain after the planting and the corn is in lots of different places, so it does not look too good :)

Have a great weekend...... the picture at the bottom is the results of a child left to her self. It is school stuff that we usually do not use. The first two times she pickied it up and shoved it back in, but by the third time she lost her organizing skills and left it all!!!

I love you still Joel.....

Cindy