Friday, October 30, 2015


Today is hard. Why? Because today, I picked up Joel's headstone for his grave. This shouldn't be happening! So much arises in my heart. Anger, sadness, heartbroken, it all will never ever escape my heart. I'm angry/so so sad that it took 8 1/2 freakin years to make this happen and not until I got a dang job. I don't care who says what, don't read any further if your judging. This is my blog and I can write what I want to. My heart is still broken that Joel died. I have yet to know why. I still have a hard time wondering where that scripture fits in "all things work together for our good." Christian people are humans with feelings and emotions and I think far to often other Christians think they shouldn't be angry or mad because it's not spiritual. There's hard days, there's days that I seem to accept and move on, but today is a hard day. I'm a mom, with a broken heart. 

Sunday, October 25, 2015


Last night October 24, Elijah asked Savannah to be his bride forever! A beautiful roof top engagement with the most stunning sunset I have ever seen in Oklahoma!!! So thankful for these two and happy for another beautiful new daughter!!!! My other daughter in law, Kristen took all the photos!! 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

it's here.....

It's possibly here! Fall! Very crisp mornings! I'm rebelling! I don't like it! Enough said! 

I will be working a few extra hours this week. We have some big events coming up that want chocolate!! Hurray for chocolates! It's been a lot of fun making all the different chocolates. But really, I can't hardly eat and sample them. I grab some almonds and pumpkin seeds occasionally but I'm literally so busy, it's hard to grab chocolate anytime I want! The fun is, getting my paycheck! I get paid every two weeks, so that makes it a little hard to wait for the next one to have enough to do a project, but I'm making it work!! Hosie and i recently are adding on to the flower garden with herb beds and a fire pit area and the crushed granite on the enclosed ground area where we put the metal edging! It's nice to think of plans and finally have resources to do something about it! Sometimes, I wonder why I didn't think to get a job sooner! Guess too many kids at home and housework! But so thankful it's happening now! 

And Roo comes back this week! Gosh, we have missed him and his momma and daddy like crazy!!! We have to get back to Roo Wednesdays!!

Hope everyone has a great week!! 

Sunday, October 11, 2015


Of course it's officially Fall. But I told Hosie "let's plant some more Zinnias and maybe we can have some more Summer before the first freeze!" And we did! They are beautiful! So cheery! I need these all year around. I can already feel the heavy, coldness, cloudy skies are preparing to make their way in to my world of Summer. I dread the cold in more ways than one. Too many painful memories that happened in November through January. It's like a depression settles over me until I can see buds on the trees in the Spring. I feel like I have to really focus on happy things in my life and even if it's a cold day and if there is blue skies, that is like a zinnia in the summer for me. I confess, I no doubt allow the weather and circumstances of the past to set my mind and mood. It's only happened since I have gotten older. Heck, when your young, everything is always happy!! But for today, I have zinnias and 90 degrees weather!! Yay!! 

Also, this Festive Fall tray is so fun for a get together like we are going to tonight!! Elijah's girl, savannah, her mom is having a Fall evening at their property tonight!!

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

new week!!

I was off Monday because the coffee shop had a movie being filmed inside their store. But back to work this morning. I have a few minutes before I have to leave! I love getting up early, 5:30am and doing my little routine and then heading out! Isn't it funny how when a new routine sets in, we look back two weeks ago and wonder what we did in the place of the now routine!? Ha!! I'm enjoying working! Gives me a sense of purpose. I feel like for sometime I have been just exsisting. I know I have been and still am a mother and housewife and that's all good and wonderful. But I have loss that sense of me. I mean, working at a coffee shop is not like getting my masters but it's something I am doing, I want to do and it feels empowering. It's making me feel significant. I think moms get buried and loose their identity sometimes. I'm for sure not complaining of being a mom but it I have been doing it for so long, I felt like I needed something different in my life. So anyways, who knows if anyone can relate. I just know it's right for me in this season. It's kind of like a freedom. I can be me, do something for me! 

Don't you just love the new photo header at the top of the blog? Erin, my daughter in law did that for me! I am totally clueless when it comes to computers and htmls! So it gives it a fresh new look! So thankful for my family! 

Have a great week!